Joe Neubarth's definitions

basketball jones

A Basketball Jones is an obsession with the sport of basketball. Kids who play the game and only think of the world in terms of basketball and their potential success at it.

That's all he ever thinks about. He's got a Basketball Jones.

by Joe Neubarth January 21, 2005

WING NUT

An eccentric who is usually driven by religious fever. They will take irrational social or political positions and not care that people will think that they are off balance. Being extreme somehow substantiates their faith.

Those guys doing the beheadings are all wing nuts

by Joe Neubarth March 14, 2005

Internet Zombie

A person who is in need of sleep who is mindlessly surfing the Internet. Usually an insomniac who gave up tossing and turning in bed and who turned on the computer to have something to do.

I have got to see my doctor about stronger sleeping pills. I was up all night doing the Internet Zombie thing. Gosh, I think I bought four or five things last night but I won't even know what they are until they arrive in the mail.

by Joe Neubarth July 12, 2007

as a friend

The three words that let you know that your (near) intimate relationship has come to an end. Usually delivered from female to male, it is the defining phrase that lets the "dropped" individual finally know that it is OVER.

Donna told him gently, "Dave, you know that I have always been very fond of you; but, now, I want to continue our relationship as just a friend."

by Joe Neubarth March 29, 2005

Sichuan Sheet

H5N1 Bird Flu after it evolved (at Qinghai Lakes in China) into the most lethal strain of virus. It is a "killing machine" that kills all manner of animals and is sweeping the world.

"Sichuan Sheet is estimated to have already killed over twenty thousand Chinese, millions of cows, pigs, monkeys, dogs, cats, and over one hundred million birds of all varieties."

"Yes, of all the Bird Flu strains, it is the worst, by far!"

by Joe Neubarth March 8, 2006

do the math

Refers to taking accounting as a major in college. Sometimes called "Doing the math thing," it refers to the tedium of math calculations in the preparation for the job and in the jog itself.

I'm going after the higher paying money jobs after college so I am "doing the math."

by Joe Neubarth April 7, 2005

Sichuan Sheet

Named after the region in China where H5N1 Bird Flu crossed over into all manner of animals (and humans) and killed them after an outbreak at Qinghai Lakes.

When that happened, the Chinese tried to cover it up by claiming it was "Streptococcus Suis" a (mild bacterial infection that usually does not kill) To honor their "SS" the term "Sichuan Sheet" was coined to highlight the coverup attempt. A sheet is a thin coverup that can be seen through.

Sichuan Sheet is the highly lethal post Qinghai Lakes strain of Bird Flu that is killing humans to the west and south of China.

Those people in Turkey and Iraq are all dying of Sichuan Sheet. When are they going to get a vaccine?

by Joe Neubarth March 14, 2006