Joe Neubarth's definitions

Internet Zombie

A person who is in need of sleep who is mindlessly surfing the Internet. Usually an insomniac who gave up tossing and turning in bed and who turned on the computer to have something to do.

I have got to see my doctor about stronger sleeping pills. I was up all night doing the Internet Zombie thing. Gosh, I think I bought four or five things last night but I won't even know what they are until they arrive in the mail.

by Joe Neubarth July 12, 2007

as a friend

The three words that let you know that your (near) intimate relationship has come to an end. Usually delivered from female to male, it is the defining phrase that lets the "dropped" individual finally know that it is OVER.

Donna told him gently, "Dave, you know that I have always been very fond of you; but, now, I want to continue our relationship as just a friend."

by Joe Neubarth March 29, 2005

Sichuan Sheet

H5N1 Bird Flu after it evolved (at Qinghai Lakes in China) into the most lethal strain of virus. It is a "killing machine" that kills all manner of animals and is sweeping the world.

"Sichuan Sheet is estimated to have already killed over twenty thousand Chinese, millions of cows, pigs, monkeys, dogs, cats, and over one hundred million birds of all varieties."

"Yes, of all the Bird Flu strains, it is the worst, by far!"

by Joe Neubarth March 8, 2006

lame

Usually refers to the lack of awareness of an individual. A person who is not alert to present culture, style or music is LAME

At 29, Bob still lives with his parents and has lost contact with what is happening in our world. He is so LAME!

by Joe Neubarth January 7, 2007

dusted

To be killed. (i.e. Turned into the dust that you were created from.)

The Mafia dusted him. I feel sorry for his widow and children.

by Joe Neubarth March 10, 2005

helicopter parent

An individual parent who hovers over their child well into adulthood. Very seldom are there two helicopter parents in one family. One is enough to hover and annoy their thirty or forty year old "child" to the point of extreme exasperation.

He's forty two years old, but his "helicopter parent" mother comes over every day to make certain that absolutely everything in his life is right. (This includes selecting the right food, clothes, furnishings, girlfriends, friends, and job that her darling son has.)

by Joe Neubarth August 2, 2007

GREATEST DEPRESSION

The Global Depression that started in September 2008 and will continue for a dozen years.

The GREATEST DEPRESSION of all time was the global depression that started in 2008.

by Joe Neubarth February 9, 2009