Jfman's definitions

Gyno-Meteorologist

1. Made up profession that studies how weather patterns impact the female reproductive system.
2. What I tell strangers when they ask what I do and I want to end the conversation.

Stranger: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I’m a Gyno-Meteorologist
Stranger: ...

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Pharmamotion

A specific type of slow motion used in prescription medication commercials to show how much happier people are once they start taking said drug. Side affects include boredom, changing the channel, and/or an irrational fear of having whatever disease the drug treats.

Bill: Change the channel, I hate these pharmamotion commercials.

Fred: But I might need Diflucan.

Bill: Dude, you don’t even have a vagina.

by Jfman August 5, 2018

Breast Redaction

A tattoo across a woman’s chest that is partially obscured by her clothes.

Excuse me mam, could you please take off your top? Due to Breast Redaction, I can’t read your tittoo.

by Jfman August 9, 2018

Feated

Shortened version of “undefeated” by cancelling the double negative. Defeated means not winning so undefeated means not not winning. Feated=winning.

My team is 4 and 0. They are totally feated

by Jfman October 11, 2020

Panty Liner Line

The unfortunate horizontal marking across a woman’s abdomen when she wears ridiculously tight yoga pants while simultaneously wearing a panty liner.

Dude, check out that babe in the yoga pants...oh...she’s got a panty liner line!

by Jfman November 16, 2018

FOMO YOLO BOGO

The Fear Of Missing Out on a You Only Live Once Buy One Get One sale

Person 1 - Where's Matt?
Person 2 - He's home looking at the JCPenney site for a new coupon. He has FOMO YOLO BOGO.

by Jfman June 27, 2018

Selfie Shock

The unexpected sensation one gets when using their phone to take a picture, only to discover that they left the camera in selfie mode.

Ohh, I want a picture of,… who the hell is that? Oh, it’s just me giving myself a Selfie Shock

by Jfman August 30, 2018