Jfman's definitions

Advers-ocado

The fear that the avocado you're cutting into might be all nasty and brown inside.

I really want some avocado toast, but my avocados are old and I'm scared to see what's inside them. I guess I have advers-ocado.

by Jfman April 16, 2021

Feated

Shortened version of “undefeated” by cancelling the double negative. Defeated means not winning so undefeated means not not winning. Feated=winning.

My team is 4 and 0. They are totally feated

by Jfman October 11, 2020

Millennial

Some who only knows Sarah McLachlan as that sad animal lady.

Me: I still think “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” is one of the greatest albums ever made.
Millennial: You mean, Sarah McLachlan, I thought she just wrote songs about abused animals.

by Jfman December 25, 2018

Panty Liner Line

The unfortunate horizontal marking across a woman’s abdomen when she wears ridiculously tight yoga pants while simultaneously wearing a panty liner.

Dude, check out that babe in the yoga pants...oh...she’s got a panty liner line!

by Jfman November 16, 2018

Lanai

Hawaiian for a private porch attached to a hotel room, perfect for having outdoor sex.

We stayed in a great resort and had tons of lanai sex

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Pee Flow Tree

The process of deciding whether or not to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

I really have to pee. But I don’t want to get out of bed. I wonder if I can make it through the night without having an accident? Is it really that bad to have an accident? No one will know. I probably need to change the sheets anyway. Maybe I should just go ahead and get up to pee now since I’m awake after going through this pee flow tree.

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Humanbumps

On a goose, the condition of their skin when they are in a cold environment and temporarily get little bumps on their skin. Equivalent to goosebumps on a human.

It’s so cold that all the geese have humanbumps.

by Jfman August 30, 2018