Jfman's definitions

Keurig Courtesy

The act of patiently performing tasks on the office Keurig machine.

I had to throw away someone else’s K-Cup and fill the reservoir, just to get a cup of coffee. But that’s OK, I don’t mind showing some Keurig Courtesy.

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Pee Flow Tree

The process of deciding whether or not to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

I really have to pee. But I don’t want to get out of bed. I wonder if I can make it through the night without having an accident? Is it really that bad to have an accident? No one will know. I probably need to change the sheets anyway. Maybe I should just go ahead and get up to pee now since I’m awake after going through this pee flow tree.

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Panty Liner Line

The unfortunate horizontal marking across a woman’s abdomen when she wears ridiculously tight yoga pants while simultaneously wearing a panty liner.

Dude, check out that babe in the yoga pants...oh...she’s got a panty liner line!

by Jfman November 16, 2018

FOMO YOLO BOGO

The Fear Of Missing Out on a You Only Live Once Buy One Get One sale

Person 1 - Where's Matt?
Person 2 - He's home looking at the JCPenney site for a new coupon. He has FOMO YOLO BOGO.

by Jfman June 27, 2018

Selfie Shock

The unexpected sensation one gets when using their phone to take a picture, only to discover that they left the camera in selfie mode.

Ohh, I want a picture of,… who the hell is that? Oh, it’s just me giving myself a Selfie Shock

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Pharmamotion

A specific type of slow motion used in prescription medication commercials to show how much happier people are once they start taking said drug. Side affects include boredom, changing the channel, and/or an irrational fear of having whatever disease the drug treats.

Bill: Change the channel, I hate these pharmamotion commercials.

Fred: But I might need Diflucan.

Bill: Dude, you don’t even have a vagina.

by Jfman August 5, 2018

Gyno-Meteorologist

1. Made up profession that studies how weather patterns impact the female reproductive system.
2. What I tell strangers when they ask what I do and I want to end the conversation.

Stranger: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I’m a Gyno-Meteorologist
Stranger: ...

by Jfman August 30, 2018