JellyBean600's definitions

Barney The Dinosaur

Barney is a large purple dinosaur who loves kids so much, he gives them tons and tons of hugs and kisses. Parents start to get a bit suspicious about him as the series goes on. In fact, most parents are starting to think that Barney is a pedophile. Actresses such as Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato appeared in his abomination show. Parents believe that this is how he gets it on with little kids...

1. He gives them lots of candy

2. He lures them to his house (or wherever he lives)

3. He grabs them by their arms to his bedroom

4. He tells them something, like "Hey, (insert name here) I've got a present for you, but it's under my suit, so you need to fish it out"

So, the moral here is... if Barney is a pedophile, AVOID HIM PLEASE!!

Me: Hey, honey. You think Sarah should be watching Barney The Dinosaur?

Wife: Yes. Why? Is there something wrong?

Me: Yeah, I think he's a pedophile

Wife: Ohh, that would explain why he loves-on kids quite a bit

by JellyBean600 July 18, 2018

Caillou

A show that involves a 4-year old boy who is so spoiled, bratty, and just plain annoying. Caillou is the biggest crybaby in the world. He throws temper tantrums constantly, which is annoying. His favorite things to do are... torturing his cat Gilbert, being an asshole to his little sister Rosie, and screaming at his parents. Caillou also has two moms. One is believed to be a transgender, but he (or she) just likes to be a manly lesbo to his bastard son and cute adopted daughter. The most famous urban legend about Caillou, states that he is bald, because he has cancer. However, that is not true. Caillou is bald, not because he has cancer or progeria, but because he sucks. Even his own body recognizes that he doesn't deserve hair, food, or love.

If your children were to watch an episode or two of Caillou, you'd have to think twice about ever reproducing

by JellyBean600 July 18, 2018

Johnny Bravo

A cartoon character about a blonde-haired (Elvis Presley style) bodyuilding man who wears sunglasses and tries to pick-up hot chicks in the most unusual ways possible. Johnny appears to be an adult, but he still lives with his mama. There's also Little Suzy, a little girl who annoys him a lot! No joke. There's a guy named Carl who attempts to woo Johnny into being his friend, but however, that leads to rejection, which is the same way with him when it comes to flirting with women.

Johnny Bravo may be a bodybuilder, however, women don't want him. Seriously, no woman wants to date this hunk of a man!

by JellyBean600 February 14, 2019

Dexter's Laboratory

A show on Cartoon Network that focuses on a boy-genius shortie named Dexter. He is usually seen in the show in his lab doing random experiments, while his ditzy ballerina of a sister Dee-Dee messes everything up, thus causing Dexter's temper to go up and kicking her out.

Dexter's hot Mom and smart-ass Dad know NOTHING about what their son is up to. Nothing at all. Dexter also has to face his worst enemy Mandark almost every-day. Mandark, however, is in love with Dee-Dee.

Oh yeah, speaking of Mandark, his parents are hippies. They don't understand his craving for evil and to make Dee-Dee his girlfriend. They want him growing up to be nice and have peace like they do.

Has anyone ever noticed that Dexter's Mom has such a huge butt?

Has anyone ever noticed that Mandark loves Dee-Dee for no reason?

Has anyone ever noticed how Mandark's mother and father never understand him?

Why is Dee-Dee so ditzy anyway? All she does is annoy Dexter to bits!

But otherwise, Dexter's Laboratory is the bomb! Woo-hoo!

by JellyBean600 December 28, 2018

Period

That time of the month where us ladies have to put up with blood spilling out of us. LITERALLY. In other words... Menstruation.

Periods can also make your body have cramps, which are one of the most annoying things to have if you're a girl and a woman.

Here are some annoying things about periods:

- Spilling out Niagara Falls when you laugh or cough (at unexpected times and places)

- Cramps, which make me feel like hormones are having recess inside me

- Bloating, which makes me feel like a fat person is sitting on me

- Random food cravings, which causes me to feel sick to my stomach an hour or two later

- Feeling crappy (tired) at random hours of the day

- Walking in an awkward way whether it's at home, school, the mall, or any other public place imaginable

- When I run low on pads or tampons and I've got none left, I end up stuffing a bunch of toilet paper in my pants. Literally. A lot!

Periods... That time of the month where you feel like crap the whole time and that everyone should watch what they say, because it could make you blow-up any second...

by JellyBean600 December 28, 2018

Niece

- The daughter of one's brother/sister or brother in-law/sister in-law

- A female member of one's family that an uncle loves so much in-addition to a nephew

- Best of both worlds

I have 3 uncles. So, that means I'm his niece, his niece, and his niece!

by JellyBean600 July 19, 2018

Uncle

- The brother of your father/mother.

- Also, the husband of your aunt.

- The member of your family that loves you as their niece/nephew.

- If you are the niece, he could be calling you cute nicknames, such as... Cutie pie, Sweetie pie, His Favorite Niece, or anything he can think of. He can also make-up some jokes to crack you up!

- If you are the nephew, he could be playing sports with you when he has the chance, put you in a headlock (He probably wouldn't do that in real life), or maybe even challenge you to an arm-wrestle!

- No matter what, your uncle will always love you.

I have the best uncle in the whole wide world! And I'm sure glad he loves me as his niece!

- JellyBean600

by JellyBean600 July 18, 2018