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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

fuckshitfuckshitfuck

Exclamation. describing state of panic.
fuckshitfuckshitfuck could be used for the following;

Opening a parachute but to no effect.

Realising you did not pay attention to your instructions on your exam paper and forgot to answer BOTH questions.

Putting your hand in your back pocket to pay your tab at a bar to discover you never took your wallet.

Having your johnny burst during private time with the missus.

Looking at the black guy using the urinal next to you, who is incidentally twice your size, with you dressed for a party as a grand wizard of the K.K.K.
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
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slave ship

Comparison to be used when describing a tightly packed area, or mode of transport. Comes from when the slave trade was in full swing, and P&O ferries dropped their standards to optimise profit margins.
Harry: "Joshua! This train is bloody packed! It's worse than a bleeding slave ship!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006
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yellow pages

1) Big book which has many uses

2) your history coursework after you've "accidently" pissed on it.
1) Uses of the yellow pages;
Finding dominatrixes
Making short/dumpy girls easier to kiss
Destroying your enemies
Fuel for your fire, when you run out of babies
and many, many more

2)
Jack: "OH! SHIT! I just pissed on my History coursework! just look at these yellow pages!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006
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Vinegar

Condiment, essential to any honky white man's supper. Tasting of Quail eggs, HE-MAN once remarked "My goodness, i wouldn't be where i am today if it were not for Vinegar's acidity"

Yes Vinegar is tax-free, and for good reason, for indeed a dak chapter of Atlantis' history, is where they tried to tax vinegar, and the city sank like an unsinkable liner without sufficient lifeboats.
"oh man i love vinegar"

"how dare you tax my vin,,,,mnmmmgh,,hmd blop blop blop"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 31, 2006
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Second tier player

Term used to describe any sportstar who is not in form or of top standard. These players have a weak following of numptys who no nothing of the certain sport and everything about erectile disfunctions. For example the man who says "No! Keiran Richardson is not a second tier player" is a) a knob jockey and b) has erectile disfunction.
Here is a list of second tier players; Jermaine Jenas (football/soccer), Stuart Abbott (Rugby Union), Darren Clarke (golf), Pedro de la Rosa (F1) and many more

Dwayne: "You know Dave, that charlton F.C. squad is just a load of Second tier players!"
Dave: "Yea, rarely have i seen a more Second tier team! It now only needs an average second tier player; Phil Neville"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 4, 2006
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wikipedia battle

When history coursework simply isn't fun enough! Or perhaps when one is trying to research a very minor topic that wikipedia cannot offer, one might slip into a wikipedia battle with an unsuspecting Mick Hucknall look-a-like next to you!

A wikipedia battle, also known as a random article battle, makes full use of that magic button, RANDOM ARTICLE. The object is to get better pages than your filthy mancunian red-headed friend or colleague. Normally it is easy to spot who wins, for example X-men would beat Conneticut (naturally). However, if it is to close to call, for example Godzilla and Spiderman, one would call for an independant adjudicator to decide. If that person is also gay and sitting on that prosthetic penis of a fence, then the scores remain as they were entering the round. Most matches are first to 12.

In the history of the wikipedia battle, there have been many engagements many ending in bloodshed. One match even went to 50 much to the annoyance of both participants.
Dave: Hey, fancy a wikipedia battle?
Mick Hucknall: Yea, i am ginger!
Dave:Go!
Mick Hucknall: Aha! Simply Red! What have you got, cocknose?
Dave: Super ameobas.
Mick Hucknall: Pfft. You win.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 2, 2006
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blustery

Windy. So windy in fact, that many hazards arise in 'blustery' conditions. Such hazards include windswept appearances, missing pieces of clothes from the washing lines and cold ears.
Used solely in the north so hardened grizzly northerners can talk about their constant struggle against the evils of blustery days.
A day in the north was very windy,.....
John: "By heck, it in't half blustery out there'
Harry: "Aye, blowin' a bastardin' gale"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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