Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

miss of the season

1. term used by commentators to describe a footballers sometimes hilarious miss.

2. term used by friends to mock a male who has failed to shag the town bike

John Motson: "Rooney, Giggs and Ronaldo, now surely, Ye - Oh - no! miss of the season. Piss poor shot from Ronaldo

Kev: "As if you didn't bang Sally, she is soo easy!"
Gav: "Yea but i forgot my rhohypnol"
Kev: "Oh, mate, miss of the season!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 19, 2006

tip-off

A tip off is a handy piece of information given by one to another. Tip-offs have been used in history (see the examples).

Regular tip-off;
"Look out Bill, he's a Queer."

Historical tip-off;
"Look, here, Hitler has said Peace in our time!"
"Nah, bollocks nev, he's a Queer."

by Jeffrey Douglas November 23, 2006

Javert

Inspector Javert is the nemesis of the criminal sissy Jean Valjean in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. He is suave, sophisticated, handsome and aboove all ruthless. He was born inside a jail (or a Gaol) and accidentally (and unfortunately) fell off a bridge to his death. To show what a real man Javert was it is important to look at his work. He was a undercover agent, infiltrating the sweaty student rebellion in gay paris. He was an awesome police officer, never giving up the chase. Indeed, Javert was, to anyone, a role model.

Javert is also a verb, derived from the same meaning. To javert someone is to never stop chasing them up for something.

"I'm Javert, do not forget me, do not forget my name, 24601"

"Oh geezer, my german teacher is really javerting me for my homework, maybe i should Jean Valjean it"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 13, 2006

slave ship

Comparison to be used when describing a tightly packed area, or mode of transport. Comes from when the slave trade was in full swing, and P&O ferries dropped their standards to optimise profit margins.

Harry: "Joshua! This train is bloody packed! It's worse than a bleeding slave ship!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006

tablature

Musical letters for weird musical types (esp. guitar). Used by people who depress others with their guitar playing in a large communal area by playing Jack Johnson ballads or Damien Rice derges.

Fred: "Life is bleak man, so i'm gonna play this depressing song i learned from tablature"
Ewan, looking depressed.

by Jeffrey Douglas September 18, 2008

mad for it

mad for it is a condition suffered exclusively in the greater manchester region. Becoming mad for it often stems from over-excitement from listening to the happy mondays or stone roses. Being mad for it means something similar to a state of excited anticipation. The after effects of being mad for it are hangovers, a sausage sellotaped to one's neck and a really ugly bird who is the cousin of John Squire. apparantly.

John: "Fuckin' MAD FOR IT!!!"
Liam: "wha' 'bout?"
John: "Don' Kno'!! but fucking TUUUUUUUUUUUNE!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006

grab-a-granny

The best thing to do when you are dumped by your girlfriend. go out and pull an old bird. the game consists of a pack of young males who attempt to shag the brains out of an attractive OLDER woman. Fuelled by booze these young males are letting themselves in for months of ribbing. Another problem is; when on boxing day, this one night stand turns up and is your mum's best friend, or dad's ex.

Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.

Mark: "Oh no, i'm crushed. My janine has dumped me. Oh, woe is me."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"

OR

Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."

by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006