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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

slave ship

Comparison to be used when describing a tightly packed area, or mode of transport. Comes from when the slave trade was in full swing, and P&O ferries dropped their standards to optimise profit margins.
Harry: "Joshua! This train is bloody packed! It's worse than a bleeding slave ship!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006
mugGet the slave shipmug.

chip shop fart

A guff perpetrated in a chip shop that because of the envioroment nobody hears or smells!! The perfect crime!
Ian: (silently thinking to himself) "Take that you customers! A chip shop fart to your lardy selves"
Customers, oblivious.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 3, 2006
mugGet the chip shop fartmug.

Fish and Chip Shop

A place where the creme de la creme go to boogy on down with the local riff raff, whilst enjoying the shop's specialities such as Cod&Chips. It indeed would be fair to say the Chip shop is a good insight into the class system in Britain today. Workers in the chip shop are always strapping and gorgeous as the grease in the air is good for their skin.
"What ho, old boy, let's go down to the Fish and Chip Shop for one of each"

"Quick lads, let's go down to the Fish and Chip Shop for one of each"
by Jeffrey Douglas July 14, 2006
mugGet the Fish and Chip Shopmug.

empirical Formula

empirical Formula is a hip hop chemistry term used by the real bad boys of chemistry. It is a formula that shows the simplest ratio of the compound or formula in question. empirical Formula has been used by such bad boys such as Alec Baldwin and jane Seymour-Butts to strip down a formula better than slim fast.
Miss Kelvin: "The empirical formula is very important to chemistry, life and your happiness."
Jennings: "Yes miss, indeed one needs the empirical formula to just last a day in the ghetto"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 8, 2006
mugGet the empirical Formulamug.

lads night

An event strictly involving only males. Activities on a lads night out include; drinking (alcohol), gambling, the muffin game and many many more.

The lads night had its origins (like fireworks) in the middle east, where Ghengis Khan would ride with his clan to a neighbouring tribe and destroy them. This version of a lads night did not catch on in europe.

The breakthrough in europe for the lads night came with Schiller (Goethe's best friend) in the 18th Century. He called it the gentleman's petit renaissance. These nights generally involved silhouette making and shirades.

At around the same time in the emerging states of america, the english were enjoying lads nights. The americans did not appreciate these evenings of drunken revelry, and declared war. This ended (temporarily) the lads night in the Americas.

Centuries later, the weight of being without a lads night society took its toll. America's economy crashed and the country went into a depression sending shockwaves throughout the world. President Hoover saw the mistake and called upon a lads night revival, giving tax breaks to those who threw the best poker nights and owned the best laser challenge sets.

In the present day, the lads night out has lost it's way slightly. It is no longer the driving political power it once was. Taken over by the proles and the masses it has fallen into disrepute. More and more lads nights end in injury and arrests.

The future of the lads night is then unclear. Perhaps it will undergo a resurgance in popularity, but it faces stiff competition from chick flicks and aids.
Typical 'lads night' venues

The house. (for poor folk)
The dog track. (for rich folk)
The country retreat. (for cottagers)

Stock phrases for a lads night (and some to avoid!)

DO SAY : - -
"MORE BEER!"
"Women are pure evil."
"That Mel Gibson really gets on my titties"

DO NOT SAY!: - -
"Oh no, i'm driving"
"Can't we just see our girlfriend/wife/sibling?& quot;
"Look guys, i brought legally blonde! "

A Lads night is just what i need
by Jeffrey Douglas February 3, 2007
mugGet the lads nightmug.

Second tier player

Term used to describe any sportstar who is not in form or of top standard. These players have a weak following of numptys who no nothing of the certain sport and everything about erectile disfunctions. For example the man who says "No! Keiran Richardson is not a second tier player" is a) a knob jockey and b) has erectile disfunction.
Here is a list of second tier players; Jermaine Jenas (football/soccer), Stuart Abbott (Rugby Union), Darren Clarke (golf), Pedro de la Rosa (F1) and many more

Dwayne: "You know Dave, that charlton F.C. squad is just a load of Second tier players!"
Dave: "Yea, rarely have i seen a more Second tier team! It now only needs an average second tier player; Phil Neville"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 4, 2006
mugGet the Second tier playermug.

mad for it

mad for it is a condition suffered exclusively in the greater manchester region. Becoming mad for it often stems from over-excitement from listening to the happy mondays or stone roses. Being mad for it means something similar to a state of excited anticipation. The after effects of being mad for it are hangovers, a sausage sellotaped to one's neck and a really ugly bird who is the cousin of John Squire. apparantly.
John: "Fuckin' MAD FOR IT!!!"
Liam: "wha' 'bout?"
John: "Don' Kno'!! but fucking TUUUUUUUUUUUNE!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
mugGet the mad for itmug.

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