Skip to main content

Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

offside

a place in football where you are classed as a sinner, and any goal you score from an offside position will be ignored by everybody who is onside.

A place in Rugby where it is easier to hurt/maim/tackle/cheat your opposition, and easier to play the whole game. Usually being offside in rugby will end up in a penalty to your opposition. Bastards.
Mrs. McGrath: "Billy! You're offside! Get back!"
Billy: "FUCK YOU MUM!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
mugGet the offside mug.

Second tier player

Term used to describe any sportstar who is not in form or of top standard. These players have a weak following of numptys who no nothing of the certain sport and everything about erectile disfunctions. For example the man who says "No! Keiran Richardson is not a second tier player" is a) a knob jockey and b) has erectile disfunction.
Here is a list of second tier players; Jermaine Jenas (football/soccer), Stuart Abbott (Rugby Union), Darren Clarke (golf), Pedro de la Rosa (F1) and many more

Dwayne: "You know Dave, that charlton F.C. squad is just a load of Second tier players!"
Dave: "Yea, rarely have i seen a more Second tier team! It now only needs an average second tier player; Phil Neville"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 4, 2006
mugGet the Second tier player mug.

blustery

Windy. So windy in fact, that many hazards arise in 'blustery' conditions. Such hazards include windswept appearances, missing pieces of clothes from the washing lines and cold ears.
Used solely in the north so hardened grizzly northerners can talk about their constant struggle against the evils of blustery days.
A day in the north was very windy,.....
John: "By heck, it in't half blustery out there'
Harry: "Aye, blowin' a bastardin' gale"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
mugGet the blustery mug.

yellow pages

1) Big book which has many uses

2) your history coursework after you've "accidently" pissed on it.
1) Uses of the yellow pages;
Finding dominatrixes
Making short/dumpy girls easier to kiss
Destroying your enemies
Fuel for your fire, when you run out of babies
and many, many more

2)
Jack: "OH! SHIT! I just pissed on my History coursework! just look at these yellow pages!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006
mugGet the yellow pages mug.

12

Without any doubt what so ever, 12 is the greatest number of all time. it's not likely that anyone does'nt know this but for those of you who want to be reminded of just how good 12 is here... Months in a Year? Hours in a.m? some of the finest rugby players have worn 12, the number of the inside centre jersey in union. The board of friends officialy recognized this, and one of it's main aims is to spread the knowledge of this fact. In the history of the universe,only 12 things have happened, numer 3 being dinosaurs and number 11 being star wars. this isn't a crackpot theory, throughout any given day you will see at least three 12 references. Snoop Dogg's favourite number is also 12.
"everyone knows 12 is great. even dead people still appreciate the 12th of the month"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 6, 2006
mugGet the 12 mug.

chip shop fart

A guff perpetrated in a chip shop that because of the envioroment nobody hears or smells!! The perfect crime!
Ian: (silently thinking to himself) "Take that you customers! A chip shop fart to your lardy selves"
Customers, oblivious.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 3, 2006
mugGet the chip shop fart mug.

wikipedia battle

When history coursework simply isn't fun enough! Or perhaps when one is trying to research a very minor topic that wikipedia cannot offer, one might slip into a wikipedia battle with an unsuspecting Mick Hucknall look-a-like next to you!

A wikipedia battle, also known as a random article battle, makes full use of that magic button, RANDOM ARTICLE. The object is to get better pages than your filthy mancunian red-headed friend or colleague. Normally it is easy to spot who wins, for example X-men would beat Conneticut (naturally). However, if it is to close to call, for example Godzilla and Spiderman, one would call for an independant adjudicator to decide. If that person is also gay and sitting on that prosthetic penis of a fence, then the scores remain as they were entering the round. Most matches are first to 12.

In the history of the wikipedia battle, there have been many engagements many ending in bloodshed. One match even went to 50 much to the annoyance of both participants.
Dave: Hey, fancy a wikipedia battle?
Mick Hucknall: Yea, i am ginger!
Dave:Go!
Mick Hucknall: Aha! Simply Red! What have you got, cocknose?
Dave: Super ameobas.
Mick Hucknall: Pfft. You win.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 2, 2006
mugGet the wikipedia battle mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email