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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

hard work

1) description of a task that requeires (too) much effort to complete.

2) description of a customer who breaks your balls making you do whatever they want and still leaving unsatisfied.
1)

" I was shagging that bird over from Hull last night, and it was only when i looked at her face i realised it was too much hard work. "

2)

" Jesus, he was hard work. Comes in here, asks for a pizza, with a pasta bake for a topping and a tiramusu for a side. And this is a Fish & Chip shop! Twat.
by Jeffrey Douglas December 12, 2008
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daft bint

Naive female, often perceived as stupid. One who would buy Chantelle's biography and label it a "good read".
Sarah: "That iraq place must be really hot!"
Dave: "Why so?"
Sarah: "Well, look at these pictures! It is so hot there these cars just catch on fire!"
Dave: "You daft bint. Iron my shirt, wench!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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fuckshitfuckshitfuck

Exclamation. describing state of panic.
fuckshitfuckshitfuck could be used for the following;

Opening a parachute but to no effect.

Realising you did not pay attention to your instructions on your exam paper and forgot to answer BOTH questions.

Putting your hand in your back pocket to pay your tab at a bar to discover you never took your wallet.

Having your johnny burst during private time with the missus.

Looking at the black guy using the urinal next to you, who is incidentally twice your size, with you dressed for a party as a grand wizard of the K.K.K.
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
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Goethe

Johann wolfgang von Goethe was born in 1749 in Frankfurt, Germany. It would be correct to remark he put german culture on the map. Famous for Faust, Heidelroslein and The sorrows of young Werther. Coined the phrase "pretentious, moi?". All in all, abit of a floppy sausage, and is still annoying people today through education and the Goetheinstitute.

It would be unfair to say he was useless, as he coined a phrase in german that translates as "lick my arse", genius.
"mmm, goethe was important, but a bit of a tool wasnt he?"
"yes he was!"
"nice hair though"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 31, 2006
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slave ship

Comparison to be used when describing a tightly packed area, or mode of transport. Comes from when the slave trade was in full swing, and P&O ferries dropped their standards to optimise profit margins.
Harry: "Joshua! This train is bloody packed! It's worse than a bleeding slave ship!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006
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blustery

Windy. So windy in fact, that many hazards arise in 'blustery' conditions. Such hazards include windswept appearances, missing pieces of clothes from the washing lines and cold ears.
Used solely in the north so hardened grizzly northerners can talk about their constant struggle against the evils of blustery days.
A day in the north was very windy,.....
John: "By heck, it in't half blustery out there'
Harry: "Aye, blowin' a bastardin' gale"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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tablature

Musical letters for weird musical types (esp. guitar). Used by people who depress others with their guitar playing in a large communal area by playing Jack Johnson ballads or Damien Rice derges.
Fred: "Life is bleak man, so i'm gonna play this depressing song i learned from tablature"
Ewan, looking depressed.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 18, 2008
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