Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

bottle opener

The key to a cold, refreshing and delicious paradise.
The worst thing to forget when going camping.

One lads night out in a tent...
Jake: "Finally, now where's that bottle opener!?"
Bill: "<Rummage> OH SHIT!"
Jake: "You wonky bollocks bastard!"

by Jeffrey Douglas December 6, 2006

daft bint

Naive female, often perceived as stupid. One who would buy Chantelle's biography and label it a "good read".

Sarah: "That iraq place must be really hot!"
Dave: "Why so?"
Sarah: "Well, look at these pictures! It is so hot there these cars just catch on fire!"
Dave: "You daft bint. Iron my shirt, wench!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006

stonewall penalty

A complete, absolute and certain penalty kick in football.

A defender shooting a forward in the penalty area with a BAZOOKA is a stonewall penalty.

by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006

Goethe

Johann wolfgang von Goethe was born in 1749 in Frankfurt, Germany. It would be correct to remark he put german culture on the map. Famous for Faust, Heidelroslein and The sorrows of young Werther. Coined the phrase "pretentious, moi?". All in all, abit of a floppy sausage, and is still annoying people today through education and the Goetheinstitute.

It would be unfair to say he was useless, as he coined a phrase in german that translates as "lick my arse", genius.

"mmm, goethe was important, but a bit of a tool wasnt he?"
"yes he was!"
"nice hair though"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 31, 2006

fuckshitfuckshitfuck

Exclamation. describing state of panic.

fuckshitfuckshitfuck could be used for the following;

Opening a parachute but to no effect.

Realising you did not pay attention to your instructions on your exam paper and forgot to answer BOTH questions.

Putting your hand in your back pocket to pay your tab at a bar to discover you never took your wallet.

Having your johnny burst during private time with the missus.

Looking at the black guy using the urinal next to you, who is incidentally twice your size, with you dressed for a party as a grand wizard of the K.K.K.

by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006

Dinoman

Dinoman was actually a real dinosaur, apparantly not dissimilar to a Velociraptor. Dinoman comes about, as the Stenonychosaurus waws believed to be evolving into a humanoid figure. As one can imagine, it causes great hilarity to hear dinoman's catchphrases, such as "Chamoon, bruvas, i be a jurassic jimmy" or "i be one prehistoric mofo, hee hee"

"Dinoman has an intelligance rating of 10"
"Dino man, he be a superhero mutha fucker"

by Jeffrey Douglas July 27, 2006

Javert

Inspector Javert is the nemesis of the criminal sissy Jean Valjean in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. He is suave, sophisticated, handsome and aboove all ruthless. He was born inside a jail (or a Gaol) and accidentally (and unfortunately) fell off a bridge to his death. To show what a real man Javert was it is important to look at his work. He was a undercover agent, infiltrating the sweaty student rebellion in gay paris. He was an awesome police officer, never giving up the chase. Indeed, Javert was, to anyone, a role model.

Javert is also a verb, derived from the same meaning. To javert someone is to never stop chasing them up for something.

"I'm Javert, do not forget me, do not forget my name, 24601"

"Oh geezer, my german teacher is really javerting me for my homework, maybe i should Jean Valjean it"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 13, 2006