Jeffrey Douglas's definitions
To be very very gay, homosexual or shirtlifting. to define somebody as gay as a dutch window, the recipient of such horrific abuse, must have done something very poorly, acted in a queer fashion or displayed his effeminate side to a large degree.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 10, 2006
Get the Gay as a Dutch Window mug.Henry: "Oh adam you've dropped that frisbee again you f*****g wonky bollock bastard"
Adam: "i really am a wonky bollocks minge"
Adam: "i really am a wonky bollocks minge"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 13, 2006
Get the wonky bollocks mug.Musical letters for weird musical types (esp. guitar). Used by people who depress others with their guitar playing in a large communal area by playing Jack Johnson ballads or Damien Rice derges.
Fred: "Life is bleak man, so i'm gonna play this depressing song i learned from tablature"
Ewan, looking depressed.
Ewan, looking depressed.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 18, 2008
Get the tablature mug.1) description of a task that requeires (too) much effort to complete.
2) description of a customer who breaks your balls making you do whatever they want and still leaving unsatisfied.
2) description of a customer who breaks your balls making you do whatever they want and still leaving unsatisfied.
1)
" I was shagging that bird over from Hull last night, and it was only when i looked at her face i realised it was too much hard work. "
2)
" Jesus, he was hard work. Comes in here, asks for a pizza, with a pasta bake for a topping and a tiramusu for a side. And this is a Fish & Chip shop! Twat.
" I was shagging that bird over from Hull last night, and it was only when i looked at her face i realised it was too much hard work. "
2)
" Jesus, he was hard work. Comes in here, asks for a pizza, with a pasta bake for a topping and a tiramusu for a side. And this is a Fish & Chip shop! Twat.
by Jeffrey Douglas December 12, 2008
Get the hard work mug.A time where the chance for action (usually, but not always, sexual in nature) arises. When one sees such a chance, one must grab it (or, if you will, jump through the window of opportunity).
1. The Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one comes across a girl drinking a pint, and casually slips her a tab of rohypnol, thus creating a window of opportunity for easy sex later.
2. The non-Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one sees and old lady struggling with heavy shopping, the window of opportunity arises to help her. Remove a baguette, whack her over the head, and take her purse and sausages.
Where one comes across a girl drinking a pint, and casually slips her a tab of rohypnol, thus creating a window of opportunity for easy sex later.
2. The non-Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one sees and old lady struggling with heavy shopping, the window of opportunity arises to help her. Remove a baguette, whack her over the head, and take her purse and sausages.
by Jeffrey Douglas February 1, 2007
Get the window of opportunity mug.An event strictly involving only males. Activities on a lads night out include; drinking (alcohol), gambling, the muffin game and many many more.
The lads night had its origins (like fireworks) in the middle east, where Ghengis Khan would ride with his clan to a neighbouring tribe and destroy them. This version of a lads night did not catch on in europe.
The breakthrough in europe for the lads night came with Schiller (Goethe's best friend) in the 18th Century. He called it the gentleman's petit renaissance. These nights generally involved silhouette making and shirades.
At around the same time in the emerging states of america, the english were enjoying lads nights. The americans did not appreciate these evenings of drunken revelry, and declared war. This ended (temporarily) the lads night in the Americas.
Centuries later, the weight of being without a lads night society took its toll. America's economy crashed and the country went into a depression sending shockwaves throughout the world. President Hoover saw the mistake and called upon a lads night revival, giving tax breaks to those who threw the best poker nights and owned the best laser challenge sets.
In the present day, the lads night out has lost it's way slightly. It is no longer the driving political power it once was. Taken over by the proles and the masses it has fallen into disrepute. More and more lads nights end in injury and arrests.
The future of the lads night is then unclear. Perhaps it will undergo a resurgance in popularity, but it faces stiff competition from chick flicks and aids.
The lads night had its origins (like fireworks) in the middle east, where Ghengis Khan would ride with his clan to a neighbouring tribe and destroy them. This version of a lads night did not catch on in europe.
The breakthrough in europe for the lads night came with Schiller (Goethe's best friend) in the 18th Century. He called it the gentleman's petit renaissance. These nights generally involved silhouette making and shirades.
At around the same time in the emerging states of america, the english were enjoying lads nights. The americans did not appreciate these evenings of drunken revelry, and declared war. This ended (temporarily) the lads night in the Americas.
Centuries later, the weight of being without a lads night society took its toll. America's economy crashed and the country went into a depression sending shockwaves throughout the world. President Hoover saw the mistake and called upon a lads night revival, giving tax breaks to those who threw the best poker nights and owned the best laser challenge sets.
In the present day, the lads night out has lost it's way slightly. It is no longer the driving political power it once was. Taken over by the proles and the masses it has fallen into disrepute. More and more lads nights end in injury and arrests.
The future of the lads night is then unclear. Perhaps it will undergo a resurgance in popularity, but it faces stiff competition from chick flicks and aids.
Typical 'lads night' venues
The house. (for poor folk)
The dog track. (for rich folk)
The country retreat. (for cottagers)
Stock phrases for a lads night (and some to avoid!)
DO SAY : - -
"MORE BEER!"
"Women are pure evil."
"That Mel Gibson really gets on my titties"
DO NOT SAY!: - -
"Oh no, i'm driving"
"Can't we just see our girlfriend/wife/sibling?& quot;
"Look guys, i brought legally blonde! "
A Lads night is just what i need
The house. (for poor folk)
The dog track. (for rich folk)
The country retreat. (for cottagers)
Stock phrases for a lads night (and some to avoid!)
DO SAY : - -
"MORE BEER!"
"Women are pure evil."
"That Mel Gibson really gets on my titties"
DO NOT SAY!: - -
"Oh no, i'm driving"
"Can't we just see our girlfriend/wife/sibling?& quot;
"Look guys, i brought legally blonde! "
A Lads night is just what i need
by Jeffrey Douglas February 3, 2007
Get the lads night mug.Lesbians.
Coming from the theory that women who live together will eventually come into a menstrual harmony and go through their cycle at the same time.
Coming from the theory that women who live together will eventually come into a menstrual harmony and go through their cycle at the same time.
Sam: "Them two behind the bar! They've been together years now. Bloody period pals, i'm tellin' ya!"
by Jeffrey Douglas February 7, 2007
Get the period pals mug.