Definitions by Jeffrey Douglas
offside
a place in football where you are classed as a sinner, and any goal you score from an offside position will be ignored by everybody who is onside.
A place in Rugby where it is easier to hurt/maim/tackle/cheat your opposition, and easier to play the whole game. Usually being offside in rugby will end up in a penalty to your opposition. Bastards.
A place in Rugby where it is easier to hurt/maim/tackle/cheat your opposition, and easier to play the whole game. Usually being offside in rugby will end up in a penalty to your opposition. Bastards.
offside by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
big hit
A powerful awesome tackle in rugby that will seriously hurt your opponent and make him think twice before trying to run past you with the ball again!
Iain Roberts: "And it's Lottie Tuqiri breaking down the right, and ... ouch.... ooh... a BIG HIT from Sean Lamont! He won't be getting up from that. Look at that dent in the turf now! Oh, what a mess."
big hit by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
stonewall penalty
stonewall penalty by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
grab-a-granny
The best thing to do when you are dumped by your girlfriend. go out and pull an old bird. the game consists of a pack of young males who attempt to shag the brains out of an attractive OLDER woman. Fuelled by booze these young males are letting themselves in for months of ribbing. Another problem is; when on boxing day, this one night stand turns up and is your mum's best friend, or dad's ex.
Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.
Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.
Mark: "Oh no, i'm crushed. My janine has dumped me. Oh, woe is me."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"
OR
Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"
OR
Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."
grab-a-granny by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006
fishwich
the correct way to order a fish sandwich in any fish and chip shop. A fish sandwich is a buttered breadcake with a heavily battered fish (normally cod or haddock (or even the sick combination: CODDOCK)) inside, oozing grease.
Harry: "One fishwich please Squire!"
George: "Yes, very good sir."
Harry: "Cod if you would please, i can't stand that bastardin' bastard Haddock."
George: "Yes, very good sir."
Harry: "Cod if you would please, i can't stand that bastardin' bastard Haddock."
fishwich by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006
tip-off
A tip off is a handy piece of information given by one to another. Tip-offs have been used in history (see the examples).
Regular tip-off;
"Look out Bill, he's a Queer."
Historical tip-off;
"Look, here, Hitler has said Peace in our time!"
"Nah, bollocks nev, he's a Queer."
"Look out Bill, he's a Queer."
Historical tip-off;
"Look, here, Hitler has said Peace in our time!"
"Nah, bollocks nev, he's a Queer."
tip-off by Jeffrey Douglas November 23, 2006
slave ship
Comparison to be used when describing a tightly packed area, or mode of transport. Comes from when the slave trade was in full swing, and P&O ferries dropped their standards to optimise profit margins.
Harry: "Joshua! This train is bloody packed! It's worse than a bleeding slave ship!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"
slave ship by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006