Java's definitions
by Java February 15, 2003
Get the aye mug.Slang/metaphor to signify friendship and levels thereof.
Diesel: Friendly
Dieselness or Dieselhood: Friendliness
DIESEL SCALE:
0-33%: American Diesel- Below 50 Cetane (New Friend - Regular Friend)
33-66%: European Diesel- Above 50 Cetane (Regular Friend - Good Friend)
66-100%: Biodiesel- Cetane Unknown but helpful to the environment. (Good Friend - Best Friend)
100% & up: Fuel Cell (like those prototype Hydrogen Fuel Cells. In other words, if the Opposite Sex is Fuel Cell towards you, they like you more than a friend.)
Fuel Cell is Heterosexual only. Homosexual love is so different it requires its own fuel! See Solar Power.
Diesel: Friendly
Dieselness or Dieselhood: Friendliness
DIESEL SCALE:
0-33%: American Diesel- Below 50 Cetane (New Friend - Regular Friend)
33-66%: European Diesel- Above 50 Cetane (Regular Friend - Good Friend)
66-100%: Biodiesel- Cetane Unknown but helpful to the environment. (Good Friend - Best Friend)
100% & up: Fuel Cell (like those prototype Hydrogen Fuel Cells. In other words, if the Opposite Sex is Fuel Cell towards you, they like you more than a friend.)
Fuel Cell is Heterosexual only. Homosexual love is so different it requires its own fuel! See Solar Power.
(DISCLAIMER:
- Never, EVER spray Diesel Fuel on a person acting gasoline towards you!
- Even though it sounds like a quick & easy fix to a friendship, it will NOT work!
- In fact, their gasolinism will worsen, or worse- their stance towards you may sink to the abyss of being Jet Fuel!!
- This is only a slang/metaphor/analogy so please keep this in mind!)
Example 1: Hey Dane, why aren't you being Diesel tonight? Oh, DGray is possessing you again?? Dane, I know you're in there somewhere, so fight him out of your body!
Example 2: So Josh, how Diesel is your girlfriend?
Josh: She's more than that; She's pretty Fuel Cell, man!
Example 3: The most important part is- you survived. That's the most diesel thing you can ever do for us.
Example 4: That guy is acting a little TOO diesel towards you! Do you think he's showing a little... ...solarity?
Example 5: While I was on the phone at a gas station, when I saw a diesel truck pass, they increased my credit limit to $750.
However, I was at this gas station that didn't serve any diesel, so when I got done refueling, I saw a car rear-end another, which is a pretty gasoline thing to happen!
- Never, EVER spray Diesel Fuel on a person acting gasoline towards you!
- Even though it sounds like a quick & easy fix to a friendship, it will NOT work!
- In fact, their gasolinism will worsen, or worse- their stance towards you may sink to the abyss of being Jet Fuel!!
- This is only a slang/metaphor/analogy so please keep this in mind!)
Example 1: Hey Dane, why aren't you being Diesel tonight? Oh, DGray is possessing you again?? Dane, I know you're in there somewhere, so fight him out of your body!
Example 2: So Josh, how Diesel is your girlfriend?
Josh: She's more than that; She's pretty Fuel Cell, man!
Example 3: The most important part is- you survived. That's the most diesel thing you can ever do for us.
Example 4: That guy is acting a little TOO diesel towards you! Do you think he's showing a little... ...solarity?
Example 5: While I was on the phone at a gas station, when I saw a diesel truck pass, they increased my credit limit to $750.
However, I was at this gas station that didn't serve any diesel, so when I got done refueling, I saw a car rear-end another, which is a pretty gasoline thing to happen!
by Java February 8, 2005
Get the Diesel mug.Hostile: Gasoline
Hostility: Gasolinism
HOSTILE (GASOLINE) SCALE:
0-25%: Premium (A little hostile)
25-50%: Midgrade (Somewhat hostile)
50-75%: Regular (Pretty hostile)
75-100%: Leaded (SERIOUSLY hostile! You don't want Leaded!)
100-up%: JET FUEL! (Aahh, I'm not even gonna go there!)
Hostility: Gasolinism
HOSTILE (GASOLINE) SCALE:
0-25%: Premium (A little hostile)
25-50%: Midgrade (Somewhat hostile)
50-75%: Regular (Pretty hostile)
75-100%: Leaded (SERIOUSLY hostile! You don't want Leaded!)
100-up%: JET FUEL! (Aahh, I'm not even gonna go there!)
Diesel powered vehicles are more friendly than Gasoline-powered ones, so that's why someone is "diesel" when they're friendly, yet "gasoline" when they're hostile. Here's why:
Diesel vehicles are known to be better in general than Gasoline-powered ones. They have:
-Longer-lasting engines
-Higher fuel mileage
-Better exhaust scent
-Pleasant sound
-Greater towing capacity
-Greater torque
Whereas Gasoline-powered vehicles:
-Guzzle more fuel
-Emit unpleasant exhaust fumes
...And you get the idea.
Did I also mention that Diesel Fuel costs less to make than Gasoline?
Diesel vehicles are known to be better in general than Gasoline-powered ones. They have:
-Longer-lasting engines
-Higher fuel mileage
-Better exhaust scent
-Pleasant sound
-Greater towing capacity
-Greater torque
Whereas Gasoline-powered vehicles:
-Guzzle more fuel
-Emit unpleasant exhaust fumes
...And you get the idea.
Did I also mention that Diesel Fuel costs less to make than Gasoline?
by Java September 7, 2004
Get the hostile mug.Someone who defies normality when using the bathroom (usually at a college dorm or a frat) by pooping in the wrong places, usually near the toilet.
Preferred places for a Fecal crusader:
Floor on Side of Toilet
Toilet Paper Dispenser
Shower Area
Floor Behind Toilet
Also, someone that we want to beat up SO MUCH, but always disappears before we discover his fecal carnage.
Preferred places for a Fecal crusader:
Floor on Side of Toilet
Toilet Paper Dispenser
Shower Area
Floor Behind Toilet
Also, someone that we want to beat up SO MUCH, but always disappears before we discover his fecal carnage.
Java: Hey man, why's the door locked?
Printz: The Fecal Crusader struck again!
Dondo: Yeah, he was s----ing off the side of the f---in' toilet.
Java: Did you see anyone run?
Braaten: Nope!
Java: Wow, he goes in and out so fast he probably doesn't even wipe! If you caught the Fecal Crusader, what would you do with him?
Printz: I'd invite him to sleep with me just so I'd kill him.
Printz: The Fecal Crusader struck again!
Dondo: Yeah, he was s----ing off the side of the f---in' toilet.
Java: Did you see anyone run?
Braaten: Nope!
Java: Wow, he goes in and out so fast he probably doesn't even wipe! If you caught the Fecal Crusader, what would you do with him?
Printz: I'd invite him to sleep with me just so I'd kill him.
by Java June 23, 2004
Get the Fecal Crusader mug.by Java February 15, 2003
Get the sf mug.Someone deserves a good swift kick in the 455!
That 455 Cubic-Inch engine kicks 455 and the 454 outta the water!
And what the heck is an "ASA engine" anyway?
That 455 Cubic-Inch engine kicks 455 and the 454 outta the water!
And what the heck is an "ASA engine" anyway?
by Java February 11, 2005
Get the 455 mug.Another Non-Offensive swear:
"C-less Castle"
If you say "Castle" without the "C", although the spelling would be "Astle", when you pronounce it out loud, the phoenetics would make it sound like you're saying (the obscene 7-letter "A" word).
"C-less Castle"
If you say "Castle" without the "C", although the spelling would be "Astle", when you pronounce it out loud, the phoenetics would make it sound like you're saying (the obscene 7-letter "A" word).
"You know what you are? You're a C-less Castle."
"What's that?"
"Say 'Castle' without the 'C'"
"Umm, 'Astle'?"
"Yep!"
"What's that?"
"Say 'Castle' without the 'C'"
"Umm, 'Astle'?"
"Yep!"
by Java July 16, 2004
Get the non-offensive swears mug.