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Jason L.'s definitions

Bess

A server-level Internet filtering service used by many public schools, which blocks out adult content, email access, personal webmastering accounts, and anything that is construed to be "fun." It's basically "censorship," any way you look at it.

Unfortunately, access to educational materials is blocked, due to technicalities.

For example, one would be hard-pressed to pull up the text of "Romeo and Juliet," because there is a line that says "Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast!"

Of course, Romeo is referring to the heart, and not the female breast, in this sense; but the filtering program does not understand that.
Eventually, students will be presented with a "Bess Can't Go There" screen, whenever they try to access ANYTHING online.
by Jason L. April 14, 2005
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Stocker

1. A strong son-of-a-gun who loads up the shelves with consumer goods, in retail outlets.

2. The name of a long-forgotten 1986 Bally/Sente arcade game, in which you drive the "General Lee" from Florida to California, avoiding cops, and trying not to run out of gas. A very primitive game, by today's standards -- or even the standards of the early 1990s. Not a bad time-killer, though.
I find myself humming "Stocker"'s in-game theme when I'm driving on a long stretch of highway...
by Jason L. April 14, 2005
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Mina

1. A character on the often-overlooked 1988 cartoon "Ronin Warriors" (the English dubbed version of "Yoroiden Samurai Troopers".) The series unfortunately lasted for ONLY 39 episodes. I'm surprised this hasn't been seen on Toonami.

2. Short for Samina -- a beautiful young lady who's a mild-mannered grocery cashier by day, but is a WORLD-CLASS anime artist by night!
I really do like working with Mina -- not only is she pretty, but she's fun to be around, too. :-)
by Jason L. April 10, 2005
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PATRIOT ACT

The 342-page document, created as a response to 9/11, that takes away all Americans' rights.

Basically, if a person walks down the street incorrectly, or simply speaks out against government policies, they are considered to be a threat, and they will be punished swiftly and severely -- even if they are INNOCENT.

Basically, the entire constitution has been repealed by the passage of this act, and it lays the groundwork for a fascist "police state."
The USA PATRIOT Act is what they mean, when they say that "Freedom Isn't Free."
by Jason L. March 23, 2005
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voided warranty

This happens when a woman loses her virginity.

This allusion is derived from high-end electronic products, such as hard drives and 6th-generation-and-newer video game systems, where there is usually a seal which states that the manufacturer's warranty will be void if it's damaged or removed. The damage or absence of this seal will tell whether the product has been internally tampered with.

Likewise, a woman also has a seal, the hymen (which everyone usually calls the "cherry".) When a man plows through it with his meat missile, she's not a virgin any longer. The seal is broken, and her "warranty" is voided.
I heard the star quarterback took the head cheerleader out on a date this weekend... They parked down at "The Point", one thing led to another, and she got a voided warranty, if'n you know what I mean. But that's nothing compared to that geeky guy in the science club -- he managed to get laid here on campus, in the storage area! He's a LEGEND!
by Jason L. August 18, 2007
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wheelie

A: "Check out that wheelie over there! Ha ha!"

B: *groan* "You know, that could just as easily be you."
by Jason L. April 14, 2005
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dong water

The result of a man taking a piss.

Derived from "bong water", the water used in a bong (obviously); and "Dog Water", one of the phony advertisements on "The Ren and Stimpy Show."
After a long night of drinking Rolling Rocks and playing video games nonstop, the Angry Nintendo Nerd had to reach for the pause button -- he desperately needed to let off a couple quarts of "dong water"...
by Jason L. July 5, 2007
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