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JaneGordon.com's definitions

Re-opening Anxiety

The anxiety of post COVID-19 opening of everything without social distancing or sanitary precautions.
Also know as re-entry anxiety.
The thought of going back to our old filthy, pre-COVID-19 habits is giving me re-opening anxiety. Puleeeaaasseee let's at least not go back to the unsanitary, nasty habit of shaking hands!
by JaneGordon.com May 8, 2021
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Ass Whole

When such crap is spoken that the only polite response is to hand the speaker toilet paper.
When I watch and listen to the Republican Debates, it is one giant ASS WHOLE where such crap comes out of their mouths that the only polite response is to send toilet paper.
by JaneGordon.com January 24, 2016
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X-Sex

Having sex with your X after you broke up.
Eric and Jane were off-and-on for six years but finally broke up when Jane got engaged and moved to Rome, and Eric married his college girlfriend. They are still friends decades later, but when Eric wanted to get Jane back into bed, she just explained "Sorry, I don't do X-sex."
by JaneGordon.com March 19, 2023
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Dancing-Lips

When you're trying to kiss, but your favorite dance song is playing and your lips keep time with the music.
John and Jane were in the middle of very romantic kissing, when Jane's favorite dance song started playing. John didn't know what was happening when Jane got dancing-lips, and couldn't help kissing in time to the music.
by JaneGordon.com April 14, 2024
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Dirty-Dish-Tolerance, aka DDT

John has a much higher dirty-dish-tolerance, aka DDT, than Jane, so she ends up doing most of the dishes. She wonders if she is just encouraging him to do even less, but oh well, no big deal in the big picture.
by JaneGordon.com May 20, 2024
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PBF (Pretend Boyfriend)

PBF aka Pretend Boyfriend is a convenient imaginary boyfriend who often comes in handy in many ways, such as excuse to get out of doing something, turning down a date, etc.
Occasionally Bill and I break up but it never lasts more than a few days and I know we'll be back together. So although technically we are broken up, dating anyone else feels like cheating. But Bill has to know what he's risking and that he might really lose me. That's where Carlo, my PBF (Pretend Boyfriend) comes in very handy...Bill does not not not like that Carlo is in my life!
by JaneGordon.com March 20, 2023
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Zoom-Ready

When your hair, clothing, jewelry, and make-up are pulled together enough that you can get onto a video call without embarrassing yourself and/or scaring everyone else. This is especially important/ challenging when working alone at home.
Thank goodness I had an hour warning before the meeting to get myself presentable and Zoom-ready. I put in my contacts, fixed hair and make-up, put on my cov-earrings - - but true confession: I was still in my pandemic-pants!
by JaneGordon.com May 19, 2020
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