Jamie Douglas's definitions
by Jamie Douglas January 21, 2007
Get the mighty weaponmug. A period of time when the sheer volume and quality of live sport induces a feeling not dissimilar to an orgasm in you.
It usually involves a lot of beer.
It usually involves a lot of beer.
OMG - the Premiership and Championship football is reaching it's climax, there's Champions League footie, the Hong Kong Sevens rugby is on, we're in the middle of the cricket world cup, we're close to the world championship snooker, the Masters golf at Augusta is next weekend with F1 motor racing and the tennis summer season is about to kick in - it's a sportsgasm!
A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.
A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.
by Jamie Douglas April 8, 2007
Get the sportsgasmmug. Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006
Get the elephant golfmug. Something that can give immense pleasure until the batteries are dead.
Women should never insert something battery powered into their bearded clam in case the battery leaks and burns them, but this doesn't stop Britians ever growing Rampant Rabbit using population.
Women should never insert something battery powered into their bearded clam in case the battery leaks and burns them, but this doesn't stop Britians ever growing Rampant Rabbit using population.
by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006
Get the battery poweredmug. Blatently obvious. If a fat person tries to sneak round a corner they will be seen, as their belly will protrude first and give them away. Hence if something can be seen a mile off, or is really obvious, it can be 'seen coming like a fat man round the corner'
Phil: 'Hey, did you hear Janice was fired?'
Butch: 'Yeah, I saw that coming like a fat man round the corner!"
Butch: 'Yeah, I saw that coming like a fat man round the corner!"
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the saw that coming like a fat man round the cornermug. Contrary to the actual words used, a cry baby neither cries nor is an infant, but is a fully grown adult who whines too much and should know better.
A cry baby will normally complain about the most petty things, like there being no packets of brown sugar on their hotel room tea tray, the fact the train is four minutes late, and being dumped by their significant other.
The only acceptable way to deal with a cry baby is to pretend to physically cry when they start complaining, by rubbing ones eyes and quivering ones bottom lip in a totally OTT manner, followed by the put-down "don't cry about it".
A cry baby will normally complain about the most petty things, like there being no packets of brown sugar on their hotel room tea tray, the fact the train is four minutes late, and being dumped by their significant other.
The only acceptable way to deal with a cry baby is to pretend to physically cry when they start complaining, by rubbing ones eyes and quivering ones bottom lip in a totally OTT manner, followed by the put-down "don't cry about it".
Tubs: "Can you believe it, there's no haddock left down the chippy!"
Edward: "Boo-hoo, don't cry about it, cry baby!"
Edward: "Boo-hoo, don't cry about it, cry baby!"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
Get the cry babymug. by Jamie Douglas December 19, 2006
Get the barmmug.