Jamie Douglas's definitions
Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006
Get the elephant golf mug.Having a cock the size of an electron.
An electron has no definite size and a mass of approximately 10^-34 Kg. Approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000006 Kg.
You see where I'm going with this ...
An electron has no definite size and a mass of approximately 10^-34 Kg. Approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000006 Kg.
You see where I'm going with this ...
Jimmy's winkie was so small that Felicity described him as an electron cock.
"Let's go poke fun at the physicists for all having electron cocks!"
"Let's go poke fun at the physicists for all having electron cocks!"
by Jamie Douglas November 22, 2006
Get the electron cock mug.1. Something the airlines use as an excuse to charge you more.
2. A plastic container with words like 'Chicken and Rice', or 'Cottage Pie' printed on the lid, but which contains nothing that could be mistaken for these things.
3. A potent diarrhetic and/or poison. With this feature, aeroplane food was a key weapon during the cold war.
2. A plastic container with words like 'Chicken and Rice', or 'Cottage Pie' printed on the lid, but which contains nothing that could be mistaken for these things.
3. A potent diarrhetic and/or poison. With this feature, aeroplane food was a key weapon during the cold war.
Passenger: "Oh Stewardess, there's a rat in my aeroplane food!"
Flight Stewardess: "No sir, that IS your aeroplane food."
BA, BOAC and Cathay Pacific all serve 'aeroplane food'.
Flight Stewardess: "No sir, that IS your aeroplane food."
BA, BOAC and Cathay Pacific all serve 'aeroplane food'.
by Jamie Douglas December 6, 2006
Get the aeroplane food mug.The yummiest of all the Z-list celebrities. To be a weathergirl you must be either blonde or brunette or redhed, and you must be very pretty and have a great body. If you wish to be a weathergirl, being swedish is of benefit but not a requirement. Famous weathergirls include Ulrika Johnson and bald-headed-moustache-man Michael Fish. If you see a weathergirl, steer clear of them as they will have an IQ of roughly 3, and this may cause them to spontaneously combust.
by Jamie Douglas September 1, 2006
Get the weathergirl mug.adj. The words to be used when no other describing word will do. Powerful awesome things include cake, alcohol, football, and physics.
If anyone in a social situation describes you as powerful awesome you can immediately assume they are coming on to you. Be careful using this term in a single sex environment, unless you want some homo-action.
Powerul awesome is a term that has been used at many historical events: in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings, William heard of Harolds death and proclaimed 'I'm going to be a powerful awesome King'; on VE-day, Hitler was heard to say 'Ich bin nicht powerful awesome - argh!' which is German for 'the allied forces are too powerful awesome for me - argh'; in 1969 Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon and declared 'Houston, the moon is powerful awesome'; and recently I had a really nice bit of Chocolate pudding and said 'Mum, this cake is powerful awesome'.
Never use the term 'powerful awesome' in prison.
If anyone in a social situation describes you as powerful awesome you can immediately assume they are coming on to you. Be careful using this term in a single sex environment, unless you want some homo-action.
Powerul awesome is a term that has been used at many historical events: in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings, William heard of Harolds death and proclaimed 'I'm going to be a powerful awesome King'; on VE-day, Hitler was heard to say 'Ich bin nicht powerful awesome - argh!' which is German for 'the allied forces are too powerful awesome for me - argh'; in 1969 Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon and declared 'Houston, the moon is powerful awesome'; and recently I had a really nice bit of Chocolate pudding and said 'Mum, this cake is powerful awesome'.
Never use the term 'powerful awesome' in prison.
Jake: 'Mike just called you powerful awesome'
Phon: 'Poof!'
Grizzly Adams: 'How powerful awesome is this shelter I've produced!'
Mother Nature: '-'
Phon: 'Poof!'
Grizzly Adams: 'How powerful awesome is this shelter I've produced!'
Mother Nature: '-'
by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006
Get the powerful awesome mug.Recipe for turkey curry
Ingredients: Turkey, onion, garlic, chillies, cumin seeds, coriander seeds, chopped tomatoes, tomato puree, chicken stock, herbs and spices (fresh coriander, fresh basil, cumin, chilli powder, tumeric, ginger, cinnamon, garam masala).
Directions:
1. Fry off the onions, garlic, chillies and seeds in oil.
2. Add the turkey and sperbs, and cook until the turkey is sealed.
3. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer for 20-30 mins.
4. Serve with rice and more fresh coriander.
Ingredients: Turkey, onion, garlic, chillies, cumin seeds, coriander seeds, chopped tomatoes, tomato puree, chicken stock, herbs and spices (fresh coriander, fresh basil, cumin, chilli powder, tumeric, ginger, cinnamon, garam masala).
Directions:
1. Fry off the onions, garlic, chillies and seeds in oil.
2. Add the turkey and sperbs, and cook until the turkey is sealed.
3. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer for 20-30 mins.
4. Serve with rice and more fresh coriander.
by Jamie Douglas July 7, 2007
Get the sperbs mug.A nightclub frequented by women of low standard who are out to show off there wares in the hope of a sly grope or of making out. These women are normally over 40 or under 18, and most would be mistaken for hookers if they were seen in natural light.
A cattle market is the sort of place that male first year undergraduate students at university go all the time in an effort to get their end away, but this invariably results in the guilty boys leaving the venue with an itch.
The term derives because the women in these clubs are essentially showing themselves off in the hope of being taken home, just as cattle are shown off at cattle markets in the hope of being sold.
A cattle market is the sort of place that male first year undergraduate students at university go all the time in an effort to get their end away, but this invariably results in the guilty boys leaving the venue with an itch.
The term derives because the women in these clubs are essentially showing themselves off in the hope of being taken home, just as cattle are shown off at cattle markets in the hope of being sold.
Bill: "Let's go down Icon and Diva!"
Pete: "We can't go there, it's a right cattle market!"
"Ooh, I was in Creation last night and pulled this slapper - now I have an itch! Serves me right for visiting such a cattle market!"
"Let's go down to Gatecrasher - I hear it's a real cattle market down there!"
Pete: "We can't go there, it's a right cattle market!"
"Ooh, I was in Creation last night and pulled this slapper - now I have an itch! Serves me right for visiting such a cattle market!"
"Let's go down to Gatecrasher - I hear it's a real cattle market down there!"
by Jamie Douglas January 6, 2007
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