Jamie Douglas's definitions
Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006
Get the elephant golf mug.The sixth, seventh or first night of the week, depending on your religion.
Saturday night is the most important invention in human history. Saturday night is the reason most conflicts have been resolved and is responsible for some of mankinds most excellent discoveries.
Acceptable ways to spend Saturday night include going out to the cinema, drinking beer, watching the footy highlights with your mates, clubbing, eating kebab, beating the wife and/or kids, and spending a dirty night out. Unacceptable ways to spend a Saturday night include going to bed early and being ill.
Without Saturday night it is conceivable that the couple of protein strands that joined in the primodial goo to form Earths first ever life form would never have done so, and all life as we know it would not exist.
Several other good facts about Saturday night include that it's impossible to fail to pull a slapper, it's the only night apart from Wednesday that it's legal to dine in an Indian restaurant, it's my favourite night of the week and it follows Friday night.
Saturday night is the most important invention in human history. Saturday night is the reason most conflicts have been resolved and is responsible for some of mankinds most excellent discoveries.
Acceptable ways to spend Saturday night include going out to the cinema, drinking beer, watching the footy highlights with your mates, clubbing, eating kebab, beating the wife and/or kids, and spending a dirty night out. Unacceptable ways to spend a Saturday night include going to bed early and being ill.
Without Saturday night it is conceivable that the couple of protein strands that joined in the primodial goo to form Earths first ever life form would never have done so, and all life as we know it would not exist.
Several other good facts about Saturday night include that it's impossible to fail to pull a slapper, it's the only night apart from Wednesday that it's legal to dine in an Indian restaurant, it's my favourite night of the week and it follows Friday night.
"It's Saturday Night! Let's get ready to rumble!"
Jim: "What shall we do?"
Pete: "Well it is Saturday night. Lets drink beer, get a kebab and go home to beat the wife and kids."
"I'm so happy it's saturday night, it's my favourite night of the week."
George: "Hey Saddam, it's Saturday night. What do you say we forget all this silly sentenced to death nonsense and go to the cinema?"
Saddam: "Infidel."
Jim: "What shall we do?"
Pete: "Well it is Saturday night. Lets drink beer, get a kebab and go home to beat the wife and kids."
"I'm so happy it's saturday night, it's my favourite night of the week."
George: "Hey Saddam, it's Saturday night. What do you say we forget all this silly sentenced to death nonsense and go to the cinema?"
Saddam: "Infidel."
by Jamie Douglas November 20, 2006
Get the saturday night mug.A period of time when the sheer volume and quality of live sport induces a feeling not dissimilar to an orgasm in you.
It usually involves a lot of beer.
It usually involves a lot of beer.
OMG - the Premiership and Championship football is reaching it's climax, there's Champions League footie, the Hong Kong Sevens rugby is on, we're in the middle of the cricket world cup, we're close to the world championship snooker, the Masters golf at Augusta is next weekend with F1 motor racing and the tennis summer season is about to kick in - it's a sportsgasm!
A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.
A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.
by Jamie Douglas April 8, 2007
Get the sportsgasm mug.by Jamie Douglas January 21, 2007
Get the mighty weapon mug.Golfing term. Means "it's up there, but you're not proud".
When one hits a total duffer, but it trickles along the ground and onto the green, one has hit a sister shot.
When one hits a total duffer, but it trickles along the ground and onto the green, one has hit a sister shot.
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
Get the sister shot mug.Blatently obvious. If a fat person tries to sneak round a corner they will be seen, as their belly will protrude first and give them away. Hence if something can be seen a mile off, or is really obvious, it can be 'seen coming like a fat man round the corner'
Phil: 'Hey, did you hear Janice was fired?'
Butch: 'Yeah, I saw that coming like a fat man round the corner!"
Butch: 'Yeah, I saw that coming like a fat man round the corner!"
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the saw that coming like a fat man round the corner mug.Something that can give immense pleasure until the batteries are dead.
Women should never insert something battery powered into their bearded clam in case the battery leaks and burns them, but this doesn't stop Britians ever growing Rampant Rabbit using population.
Women should never insert something battery powered into their bearded clam in case the battery leaks and burns them, but this doesn't stop Britians ever growing Rampant Rabbit using population.
by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006
Get the battery powered mug.