Jamie Douglas's definitions

Corridor of Uncertainty

1. A line in football exactly between the back line and the goalkeeper, usually roughly level with the six-yard-box. Any cross into the Corridor of Uncertainty will cause all sorts of panicky and comedy defending as neither goalie nor defence are sure to come or stay.

2. A line in cricket, when the ball pitches usually on a length, just outside the batsmans off-stump. It is such a good line that it leaves the batsman unsure of whether or not to play a shot, and usually results in either an edge, a play-and-a-miss or some other form of comedy cricket.

3. A dark alleyway.

4. A womans anus. Do you dare venture into the Corridor of Uncertainty?

Ooh, he's put that cross right along the Corridor of Uncertainty and caught the defence in one dilly of a pickle!

Fletcher: "If you keep putting the ball into the Corridor of Uncertainty, you'll get an edge for a wicket eventually."
Harmison: "OK, but what if I just bowl at second slip?"

Paul: "Let's go this way. It's a short cut."
Mike: "No, I can't see down there - it's a Corridor of Uncertainty."

James: "Let's have sex!"
Milly: "We can't, it's my time of the month!"
James: "No worries, I'll just put it in the Corridor of Uncertainty."
Milly: "Ouch!"

by Jamie Douglas January 5, 2007

sweating like a fat man in a cake shop

Really really really sweaty. Imagine a chubby fellow dining out at his local pastry shop - he stands, salivating, over the counter wondering which fatty treat to shove down his gullet, and then indecision strikes and he sweats over what to order. That's how sweaty you are if you're sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.

Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved

Kirsty: 'How was your squash game?'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'

by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006

electron cock

Having a cock the size of an electron.

An electron has no definite size and a mass of approximately 10^-34 Kg. Approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000006 Kg.

You see where I'm going with this ...

Jimmy's winkie was so small that Felicity described him as an electron cock.

"Let's go poke fun at the physicists for all having electron cocks!"

by Jamie Douglas November 22, 2006

mesoscale

Between the macroscopic and microscopic scale.

If planets are macroscopic and atoms microscopic, humans can be described as a mesoscale.

1m is a mesoscale compared to an inch and a mile.

by Jamie Douglas December 14, 2006

sister shot

Golfing term. Means "it's up there, but you're not proud".

When one hits a total duffer, but it trickles along the ground and onto the green, one has hit a sister shot.

"Wow, that sister shot has set you up for par!"

by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006

battery powered

Something that can give immense pleasure until the batteries are dead.

Women should never insert something battery powered into their bearded clam in case the battery leaks and burns them, but this doesn't stop Britians ever growing Rampant Rabbit using population.

Radio controlled cars, ipods, remote controls and vibrators are all battery powered.

by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006

saw that coming like a fat man round the corner

Blatently obvious. If a fat person tries to sneak round a corner they will be seen, as their belly will protrude first and give them away. Hence if something can be seen a mile off, or is really obvious, it can be 'seen coming like a fat man round the corner'

Phil: 'Hey, did you hear Janice was fired?'
Butch: 'Yeah, I saw that coming like a fat man round the corner!"

by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006