Jamie Douglas's definitions

battery powered

Something that can give immense pleasure until the batteries are dead.

Women should never insert something battery powered into their bearded clam in case the battery leaks and burns them, but this doesn't stop Britians ever growing Rampant Rabbit using population.

Radio controlled cars, ipods, remote controls and vibrators are all battery powered.

by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006

weather

Weather is the thing that makes blighty so unbearable. In blighty weather is terrible all the time, so much so that many people choose to move abroad or simply jump into the ocean and try to swim to another country. The general weather pattern acorss the United Kingdom is rain, rain, rain. Then a cold front. Then rain, rain, rain. Then freezing winds and snow. Then rain, rain, rain. The Roman Emperor Caeser once abandoned his quest to rule Britain because of the weather, and during the second world war the Luftwaffe were defeated in the Battle of Britain because the steel that made their aeroplanes rusted within minutes of coming into contact with British weather.

Tim: "How's the weather?"
Jerry: "You know, sunny!"

by Jamie Douglas September 1, 2006

varnished monkey

Someones who's really vain and makes an unecessary effort with their appearance e.g. a well oiled, beautifully bronzed sunbather at a tourist resort, or a cool kid with too much gel in their hair. The phrase was first used in german (lackierter Affe), and is a lovely description of that loathsome type of person.

Arnie: "Check out my beautifully oiled biceps"
Sally: "Wow! You're a real varnished monkey!"

by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006

pannces

Alternate spelling of the word pants amongst the literati.

C'mon Jeeves, let's go down the public lavatories and writes cursewords on the wall like "pannces"

by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006

military golf

Means you're going: Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right ...

Another excellent golfing put down.

"Into the trees again boyo, I didn't realise we were playing military golf"

by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006

electron cock

Having a cock the size of an electron.

An electron has no definite size and a mass of approximately 10^-34 Kg. Approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000006 Kg.

You see where I'm going with this ...

Jimmy's winkie was so small that Felicity described him as an electron cock.

"Let's go poke fun at the physicists for all having electron cocks!"

by Jamie Douglas November 22, 2006

sperbs

A mixture of herbs and spices, often used in cooking.

Recipe for turkey curry

Ingredients: Turkey, onion, garlic, chillies, cumin seeds, coriander seeds, chopped tomatoes, tomato puree, chicken stock, herbs and spices (fresh coriander, fresh basil, cumin, chilli powder, tumeric, ginger, cinnamon, garam masala).

Directions:
1. Fry off the onions, garlic, chillies and seeds in oil.
2. Add the turkey and sperbs, and cook until the turkey is sealed.
3. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer for 20-30 mins.
4. Serve with rice and more fresh coriander.

by Jamie Douglas July 7, 2007