Jamie Douglas's definitions

sportsgasm

A period of time when the sheer volume and quality of live sport induces a feeling not dissimilar to an orgasm in you.

It usually involves a lot of beer.

OMG - the Premiership and Championship football is reaching it's climax, there's Champions League footie, the Hong Kong Sevens rugby is on, we're in the middle of the cricket world cup, we're close to the world championship snooker, the Masters golf at Augusta is next weekend with F1 motor racing and the tennis summer season is about to kick in - it's a sportsgasm!

A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.

by Jamie Douglas April 8, 2007

mighty weapon

Penis. Purple headed yoghurt slinger. Veiny love tree.

So proud was Jim of his mighty weapon that he got it out at every opportunity

by Jamie Douglas January 21, 2007

elephant golf

Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.

Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.

"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"

"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"

"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."

by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006

Dynamo

The dynamo is the process that controls the Earths magnetic field. It is a boss thing to learn about. The Earths liquid outer core composed of iron convects under the influence of the inner core boundary and the core mantle boundary, and this movement of the conduting fluid over the Earths magnetic field lines produce electrical currents which in turn sustain the magnetic field. All really rather clever stuff.

Boy: "Teacher, why does the Earth have magnetic Poles?"
Teacher: "Because Pixies put it there."
Head Teacher: "No, it's because of the Dynamo action!"

by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006

lemony

Tasting of lemons. If you ever put something lemony in your mouth you will experience your pie-hole being sucked into itself, such is the explosive power of the citrus fruit. Be warned.

Many things which are not lemons are lemony. Examples include 'Jif', 'Bleach' and 'Uranium'.

Jimmy "Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!"
Paul "Oh goodness, get that lemon out your mouth!"
Jimmy "That's better. It was lemony."

by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006

vampire slayer

1. A bloke who racks up a number of notches on his bedpost by picking up rough looking birds in nightclubs on student nights. (Vampire because he preys on girls out at night, slayer because he 'slays' them with his mighty weapon).

2. Someone who kills vampires.

Eddy: "Cor blimey, Dan brought another girl home from the student night!"
James: "I know, he's a real vampire slayer!"

James Woods, Kristy Swanson and Van Helsing all killed vampires, making them vampire slayers

by Jamie Douglas January 21, 2007

electron cock

Having a cock the size of an electron.

An electron has no definite size and a mass of approximately 10^-34 Kg. Approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000006 Kg.

You see where I'm going with this ...

Jimmy's winkie was so small that Felicity described him as an electron cock.

"Let's go poke fun at the physicists for all having electron cocks!"

by Jamie Douglas November 22, 2006