8 definitions by JJ Seldron
An individual who does not believe in the effectiveness of masks to slow the spread of disease. They say that mask wearing is an act of fear and draw their bows so long, they equate the mandate of mask-wearing as psychological control by the man. Paradoxically some anti-maskers will show a particular reverence for the hallowed N-95 mask as these masks have both an “N” and a “95” and are made by 3M. These “masks” are often classified as respirators so some anti-maskers consider them acceptable especially if they have that hard plastic thingy on them.
“Why are you wearing a mask? A face mask won’t prevent you from getting covid-19.”
“That’s not how they work.”
“They are too porous and the virus can come through.”
“That’s not how masks work.”
“And the virus can just come in through your eyes, so you need to be wearing goggles too.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Plus the the virus can come in through the sides, but N-95s totally work, they’re made by 3M, and they’re green, and they have the hard plastic thing that makes them a respirator, not a mask.”
“I can’t believe I’m related to an anti-masker.”
“That’s not how they work.”
“They are too porous and the virus can come through.”
“That’s not how masks work.”
“And the virus can just come in through your eyes, so you need to be wearing goggles too.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Plus the the virus can come in through the sides, but N-95s totally work, they’re made by 3M, and they’re green, and they have the hard plastic thing that makes them a respirator, not a mask.”
“I can’t believe I’m related to an anti-masker.”
by JJ Seldron April 17, 2020
One of many creative names for cocaine, equal parts Australian vernacular and plant cultivation humor.
Hey mate, you got any (sequentially; two sharp whistles, two back of the front teeth, tip of the tongue clicks, and two dual eyebrow raises) Charlie?
Come again?
Got any booger sugar?
Pardon moi?
Snow White?
Excuse me?
Rooting Powder?
Oh yes, right, cocaine. No worries.
Come again?
Got any booger sugar?
Pardon moi?
Snow White?
Excuse me?
Rooting Powder?
Oh yes, right, cocaine. No worries.
by JJ Seldron May 11, 2021
A colourful mixture of edible flowers, fresh young herbs, and assorted micro-greens scattered over an otherwise perfectly fine dish simply to satisfy Instagram posters. It seems to have emerged in the trendy brunch spots of Sydney and is spreading fast.
Mate, how’s the new brunch spot up the road?
It’s good but it was like the chef stole me mum’s potpourri from the back of her bedroom toilet and dumped it all over our meal.
That’s platepourri mate, it’s the scourge of this generation of young chefs.
It’s good but it was like the chef stole me mum’s potpourri from the back of her bedroom toilet and dumped it all over our meal.
That’s platepourri mate, it’s the scourge of this generation of young chefs.
by JJ Seldron May 22, 2017
Increasingly common in the age of overly creative chefs, this is that special satisfaction or pleasure at another person’s unfortunate frozen dessert choice.
What’d you order?
I got one scoop each of Spamberry Crunch, Blueberry Borscht, and Pizza Dough.
Ha! Sucker! I got chocolate and vanilla.
You’re enjoying my disgust too much, this is classic Schadenfroyo.
Do you think I should get the Natto’n Honey, Pralines and Bream, or Whirled Peas?
Try them all! I feel some Schadenfroyo coming on.
I got one scoop each of Spamberry Crunch, Blueberry Borscht, and Pizza Dough.
Ha! Sucker! I got chocolate and vanilla.
You’re enjoying my disgust too much, this is classic Schadenfroyo.
Do you think I should get the Natto’n Honey, Pralines and Bream, or Whirled Peas?
Try them all! I feel some Schadenfroyo coming on.
by JJ Seldron November 25, 2020
The emigration of mentally stable individuals from a geographical location, workplace, or institution. As a surplus of wackos becomes apparent, relatively sane folk are forced to get the hell outta Dodge.
The car dealership had suffered from sane drain ever since the boss’s son-in-law was put in charge of human resources.
Sane-drain plagued the presidential campaign offices until the only workers left were too highly medicated to complete all but the simplest of tasks.
As the cult completed construction of their dormitories, sane-drain of longterm locals increased exponentially.
Sane-drain plagued the presidential campaign offices until the only workers left were too highly medicated to complete all but the simplest of tasks.
As the cult completed construction of their dormitories, sane-drain of longterm locals increased exponentially.
by JJ Seldron September 1, 2019
1- To be simultaneously inspired to achieve greatness and bummed out because you know you’ll never attain it. Perhaps it’s seeing a supercar of your dreams that you have no hope of renting, let alone owning. Maybe it’s when you see somebody on instagram posting from a private jet saying something like “reach for the skies” but you’ve never even flown economy plus. It’s definitely the feeling you get when you see how close you are now to Obama’s age when he became president.
2- It’s that fleeting jealously you get driving by a homeless person on the way to a job you hate. Sure their life is probably hell but they’re free, man, free, and sometimes they have a dog, and the dog loves them. They get to camp for free without a parks pass, and they sure as hell don’t need to go to any meetings.
3- It’s that burst of enthusiasm that you get when you see a great looking perky bum on instagram, a booty so fine that you immediately start searching for butt workout vids on youtube and commit to hiring a trainer.
2- It’s that fleeting jealously you get driving by a homeless person on the way to a job you hate. Sure their life is probably hell but they’re free, man, free, and sometimes they have a dog, and the dog loves them. They get to camp for free without a parks pass, and they sure as hell don’t need to go to any meetings.
3- It’s that burst of enthusiasm that you get when you see a great looking perky bum on instagram, a booty so fine that you immediately start searching for butt workout vids on youtube and commit to hiring a trainer.
1. Why are you looking bravely forward with your chin up and crying at the same time?
Every time I see a yacht I get bummspired, it’s like a mental explosion of need-to-hustle and knowing I got no chance of owning any kind of a boat.
Costco has kayaks. That's a kind of boat and they're cheap.
Shut up. Ain't nothing bummspirational about a kayak.
2. Do you ever just wish you could drop out of the rat race and be homeless?
Out of the rat race to live in a rat place? Are you high?
Yeah, nah, you’re right, you’re right, I just tend to get bummspired on Mondays.
3. Whoa! Your butt’s looking fab. What happened?
A few months ago I saw celebrity fitness model @JessicaBabyFat on instagram, doing squats and she changed my life. I was instantly bummspired.
I’m bummspired just hearing you talk about your bummspiration.
Every time I see a yacht I get bummspired, it’s like a mental explosion of need-to-hustle and knowing I got no chance of owning any kind of a boat.
Costco has kayaks. That's a kind of boat and they're cheap.
Shut up. Ain't nothing bummspirational about a kayak.
2. Do you ever just wish you could drop out of the rat race and be homeless?
Out of the rat race to live in a rat place? Are you high?
Yeah, nah, you’re right, you’re right, I just tend to get bummspired on Mondays.
3. Whoa! Your butt’s looking fab. What happened?
A few months ago I saw celebrity fitness model @JessicaBabyFat on instagram, doing squats and she changed my life. I was instantly bummspired.
I’m bummspired just hearing you talk about your bummspiration.
by JJ Seldron November 24, 2019
Unrequited love aimed at a charismatic member of the broadcast media. Increasingly attractive, cosmetically and often surgically enhanced screen readers, have been developed to foster feelings of puppy love in their audience. Brainwashing intensifies as the hypnotic bond strengthens. If you find yourself sporting a giddy smile when you see your news source, it’s time to turn the channel.
I just can’t find an unbiased news source. Where do you get all of your info?
I watch Tucker. He’s so right about everything and I love his eyes, and his nose, and hair, and tan. and ties.
That dude? Really? I think you’ve got a newscrush on him. Turn the channel.
How did you know who to vote for?
The love of my life told me, Rachel on channel 72.
You know her?
I don’t know her know her, but I know her, you know? Like when she's looking into my eyes and teaching me stuff...
Turn that channel. You got a newscrush.
I watch Tucker. He’s so right about everything and I love his eyes, and his nose, and hair, and tan. and ties.
That dude? Really? I think you’ve got a newscrush on him. Turn the channel.
How did you know who to vote for?
The love of my life told me, Rachel on channel 72.
You know her?
I don’t know her know her, but I know her, you know? Like when she's looking into my eyes and teaching me stuff...
Turn that channel. You got a newscrush.
by JJ Seldron November 10, 2020