spider

The leading cause of house fires.

There was a spider, I panicked. I think it's gone now.

by Intelligence001 July 05, 2016

mail buoy watch

A joke errand given to new sailors. Consists of sending a sailor to the weather decks with a hook, a lamp, and a harness to look for an air-dropped buoy carrying the ship's mail.

Clarence was given mail buoy watch. He had no idea there was no such thing.

by Intelligence001 July 27, 2016

SquirrelHead

Donald Trump.

Donald trump is a squirrelhead.

by Intelligence001 May 31, 2016

Epic Face Palm

The only thing to do when someone fails THAT much.

Randall: Hey, what's Obama's last name.
Mike: *epic face palm*

by Intelligence001 June 14, 2016

Criticism

The act of pointing out flaws in a person/work/event. As it turns out, a lot of people tend to handle this quite poorly. Over-inflated ego may have something to do with it.

Critic: Your performance was very impressive! However, there are a couple minor nitpicks I have-
Narcissist: Why don't you fucking do it if you're so goddamn smart, huh!?
Viewer: Oh, whatsamatta with you? Can't take a little criticism?
Critic: No shit.

by Intelligence001 February 13, 2020

Friend Zone

Supposedly, the "friend zone" is a phenomenon that occurs when a girl you like is friends with you, but will blatantly not date you, resulting in depression/irritation, as the "friend zoned" person feels obligated to date(or have sex with) the other person. Of course, to put simply, this is total bullshit. Women are not vending machines that you can put kindness coins into until dates/sex pops out. THEY DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING.

Jack: Hey, you alright, Kendall?
Kendall: No.
Jack: Why? What's wrong?
Kendall: Hannah put me in the friend zone. I know she's obligated to have it with me.
Jack: Dude, get over it. It's total bullshit. Women don't owe you shit.

by Intelligence001 October 09, 2016

green

Not a creative color.

Green is not a creative color

by Intelligence001 July 19, 2016