Intelligence001's definitions

government efficiency

An even bigger oxymoron than military intelligence.

I see no proof of "government efficiency." All I see are a bunch of do-nothing retards.

by Intelligence001 May 31, 2017

spider

The leading cause of house fires.

There was a spider, I panicked. I think it's gone now.

by Intelligence001 July 5, 2016

aspirations

Something you should take care not to choke on, especially not in the vicinity of your boss.

Be careful not to choke on your aspirations.

by Intelligence001 July 23, 2019

Frankenstein

A mad scientist from the Mary Shelley novel of the same name who created a beast out of several human body parts recovered from a cemetery. Contrary to popular belief, the monster in question is not named Frankenstein. In fact, the creature isn't named at all.

"Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster. It's a common misconception held by all truly stupid people."

by Intelligence001 March 11, 2017

scots

A Scottish person. They are known for being belligerent, foul-mouthed, and would happily say yes to a whisky.

Show yer damned respect towards the Scots, or else I'll gut ye with me bare hands, ya wee laddie!

by Intelligence001 March 13, 2017

Windmill

1: A large building that houses a contraption with a large set of sails that are spun around by wind, either to move a grindstone for processing grain, or a turbine to generate electricity.

2: A threat that doesn't exist. Derived from Don Quixote, who attacked a windmill with a lance thinking it was a giant.

"I would your worship take notice," replied Sancho, "that those you see yonder are no giants, but windmills; and what seem arms to you, are sails; which being turned with the wind, make the millstone work."

by Intelligence001 January 12, 2023

Personal Finance

That class that teaches you how to do taxes and stuff, yet nobody takes it and then go on to complain about how school doesn't teach you about life.

Lars: School ain't teach you sh*t bout life.
Ken: See, if you took your personal finance classes, you wouldn't be saying that.
Lars:*facepalm* I'm an idiot...

by Intelligence001 May 31, 2016