Intelligence001's definitions

Killer Rabbit

A creature that presents itself as being totally harmless and cuddly, but will beat you to death with your own skull if you get too close. Named for the creature of the same name in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, where it decapitates Sir Bohrs and two other knights before the crew books it.

I saw a cute little squirrel on the way to school. I wound up losing my testicles to it.
Damn, like that killer rabbit.

by Intelligence001 January 7, 2020

Haiku

Five syllables first,
then seven come right after,
and five at the end.

This is a haiku,
if you need more description,
pleas just go elsewhere.

by Intelligence001 November 11, 2016

Sea Bear

A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.

Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)

by Intelligence001 February 6, 2017

FRIED CHICKEN

Self explanatory. Chicken that's fried in batter. Need I say more?

Fried chicken. Nuff said.

by Intelligence001 May 31, 2016

Kraken

A gigantic squid-like creature that attacks the ships of any mortal foolish enough to wander into its domain. It originated in Norse mythology, but has become sailing lore and a unique aspect of popular culture regarding sailing ships.

Below the thunders of the upper deep,
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

by Intelligence001 March 22, 2017

troll

A person who intentionally acts like an asshole on the internet for his/her own entertainment. Derived from descriptions of creatures of Scandinavian folklore, who would lead people to their death, insanity, or otherwise cause a total social breakdown.

U mad bro?
Quit being a troll.

by Intelligence001 July 28, 2016

rot in a sack

A general insult for when someone exhausts your patience really quickly.

Okay, uh, I'll tell you what. You can rot in a sack for all I care. Good-bye.
Wait, don't leave!
ROT! IN A SACK!

by Intelligence001 February 3, 2019