Intelligence001's definitions

Friend Zone

Supposedly, the "friend zone" is a phenomenon that occurs when a girl you like is friends with you, but will blatantly not date you, resulting in depression/irritation, as the "friend zoned" person feels obligated to date(or have sex with) the other person. Of course, to put simply, this is total bullshit. Women are not vending machines that you can put kindness coins into until dates/sex pops out. THEY DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING.

Jack: Hey, you alright, Kendall?
Kendall: No.
Jack: Why? What's wrong?
Kendall: Hannah put me in the friend zone. I know she's obligated to have it with me.
Jack: Dude, get over it. It's total bullshit. Women don't owe you shit.

by Intelligence001 October 9, 2016

Rum

An alcoholic beverage that is, for all points and purposes, gone.

...But why is the rum gone?

by Intelligence001 November 13, 2016

knee

A joint that connects the upper and lower leg. This joint is infamous for one reason: the dreaded arrow. If an arrow hits you in the knee, you will transform into a city guard who endlessly receives reports of sweetroll robberies.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an overused joke in the knee.

by Intelligence001 September 3, 2016

Criticism

The act of pointing out flaws in a person/work/event. As it turns out, a lot of people tend to handle this quite poorly. Over-inflated ego may have something to do with it.

Critic: Your performance was very impressive! However, there are a couple minor nitpicks I have-
Narcissist: Why don't you fucking do it if you're so goddamn smart, huh!?
Viewer: Oh, whatsamatta with you? Can't take a little criticism?
Critic: No shit.

by Intelligence001 February 13, 2020

government efficiency

An even bigger oxymoron than military intelligence.

I see no proof of "government efficiency." All I see are a bunch of do-nothing retards.

by Intelligence001 May 31, 2017

spider

The leading cause of house fires.

There was a spider, I panicked. I think it's gone now.

by Intelligence001 July 5, 2016

#

The pound key on old phones, as well as being the shorthand symbol for numbers. Also known as hashtags by poorly educated young males and females.

Uneducated guy: Yo i found a #hashtag symbol on a phone from like the 90s! like, twitter wasnt even invented back, so why they need a hashtag?
Intelligent person: Are you a special kind of retard or what?

by Intelligence001 April 4, 2017