Intelligence001's definitions

Haiku

Five syllables first,
then seven come right after,
and five at the end.

This is a haiku,
if you need more description,
pleas just go elsewhere.

by Intelligence001 November 11, 2016

lego

The bane of your foot's existence.

Mark: Hey, did you hear about what happened to Jody?

Pete: No, what?
Mark: He stepped on a Lego. He might need to get his foot amputated.
Pete: Over a piece of plastic? Damn.

by Intelligence001 August 15, 2016

homophobe

A person who lives in constant fear that gay men will treat them the way they treat women, in addition to being in constant dread that lesbians treat women better than they do.

Tattoo shop customer: I'd like a tattoo of the bible verse that forbids homosexuality.
Tattoo artist: Sorry, we don't service the common homophobe here. We're going to have to ask you to leave and never come onto this street again.

by Intelligence001 August 4, 2016

bad day

The point at which even the most sane, composed, calm, collected, stable, and well-adjusted person in all of human history to utterly snap and lose it.

All it takes is for one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.

by Intelligence001 January 19, 2020

Red Bull

A drink that does nothing the commercials say.

Red Bull (doesn't) give you wiiiings!

by Intelligence001 July 18, 2016

First Law of Holes

"If you find yourself in a hole, your first course of action should be to stop digging." If you find yourself in a bad situation, stop doing something that is actively making it worse.

Dylan got himself into trouble with the cops. He didn't remember the first law of holes and started fighting with them.

by Intelligence001 July 23, 2019

prepare to die

The tagline of the game Dark Souls.

Protip: They aren't kidding.

Guy 1: Played some Dark Souls the other day.
Guy 2: How'd it go.
Guy 1: When the box said, "prepare to die," it turned out they were serious.

by Intelligence001 January 18, 2018