IGKYA53's definitions

beat you senseless

To beat some slime punk so that they ain't got no notion of what's going on and they are just left left laying there doing nothing!!!

Quit being stupid fool, or I'm gonna beat you senseless!!!

by IGKYA53 December 1, 2013

break every bone in your body

To open up a can of whoop ass on someone and then, while sitting back with a nice bottle of wine, proceed to sadistically snap all 106 bones in their body, about one every 20 minutes or so, thereby inflicting nearly insufferable agony and forcing the person take their meals through a tube for the rest of their miserable, now useless life.

Ricky: Lucy, what’d you do, making out with Ethel?
Lucy: Oh Ricky, it was the only way Ethel could get her allowance from Fred!
Ricky: Ay caramba! I’m gonna break every bone in your body!
Lucy: Waugh!

by IGKYA53 July 2, 2020

Beat you into a bucket of chicken

To open up a can of whoop ass on someone, decapitate them, then cut them into eight pieces of white and dark meat: two breasts, two wings (arms), two thighs, and two legs. The beating continues by coating the person's pieces with seven secret herbs and spices and frying them to an extra, extra crispy texture. The beating concludes by kicking the sizzling, stinking pieces into a six-month old bucket of chicken that's crawling with ants and sharing video of the beating on social media.

You fool, I'm gonna beat you into a bucket of chicken!

by IGKYA53 October 5, 2021

Rip off your ass and hand it to you

To beat someone so bad that their ass becomes a jiggling mass of gel hanging off their spine, allowing you to rip it off and place it in their hands as they collapse into a heap of excruciating pain. After the beaten person finishes convulsing, you place their severed posterior next to their lips so that it looks like they are kissing their own ass while posting hilarious videos to social media.

You disrespect me and I'll rip off your ass and hand it to you!!!

by IGKYA53 October 2, 2020

Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.

Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.

by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020

beat you to a pulp

To beat someone so bad that they completely lose control of their body; causing their brains to run out of their head, the snot to run out of their nose, the piss to run out of their penis, and the shit to run out of their ass. The beating culminates as the person withers into a pulp and their pants fall down into a disgusting spew of brains, snot, piss, and shit. The beating concludes by certifying the person as a complete personal failure by uploading humiliating photos and videos of them to social media.

I’m gonna come over there and beat you to a pulp!

by IGKYA53 January 25, 2021

beat you to oblivion

To savagely beat someone beyond the mere confines of life and death, to a point where an inter-dimensional portal opens up and, in a blinding maelstrom hot as a supernova, sweeps the carcass of the beaten person up into the atmosphere, breaking all known laws of physics, and leaving no trace of the beaten person behind.

Sapphire: "Get down to the store, we need some groceries."
Kingfish: "Uh, I lost all my money at the racetrack."
Sapphire (grabbing a rolling pin): "I'm gonna beat you to oblivion!"

by IGKYA53 April 22, 2020