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Hogtrude Parker's definitions

cigarette

A magic wand used for summoning a bus at the bus stop.
“You want a cigarette?”
“No way, buddy. I’m on my way to an audition, gotta take care of my lungs.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t get to actually smoke up! The bus is gonna show up as soon as I light it and you won’t get the chance.”
by Hogtrude Parker September 20, 2021
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get shot

Something Allen doesn’t do.
“Did anyone get shot last night?”
“Not Allen.”
by Hogtrude Parker June 7, 2021
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SCP-5004-B

United States President Donald John Trump.

In the lore of the SCP Foundation, Donald Trump is a naturally powerful “reality sink” that the SCP Foundation, a secretive organization tasked with protecting the world from supernatural threats, pulls strings behind the scenes to have elected president after learning of the existence of “Old Gorman,” or SCP-5004-A, a demon sealed beneath the United States Capitol Building with a 100-year-long spell in 1916, and concluding (much to their dismay) that Trump being President, which would drain Old Gorman’s power, is the only viable way to stop the demon from breaking free and destroying the east coast.
On January 20, 2017, SCP-5004-B was inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States. During the inauguration, which was scarcely attended, Foundation thaumatologists (as well as the three remaining members of the Metaphysical Club) confirmed that SCP-5004-A did begin to manifest in the baseline universe. However, as expected the entity was immediately affected by SCP-5004-B, which reduced SCP-5004-A's size considerably, likely as a defense mechanism against SCP-5004-B. The entity, now visible on infrared but otherwise invisible and intangible, came to rest above the head of SCP-5004-B where it stayed, curled into a tight fetal position roughly 2m in diameter.
by Hogtrude Parker January 11, 2021
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Thomas Dipshit

A generic, idiomatic name (like “John Doe” or “Parson Brown”) for a very gullible man, especially on the internet.
“I mean, it said I wouldn’t believe it!” said Thomas Dipshit when asked why he shared an article just titled “YOU WON’T BELIEVE” with all his friends on Facebook.

Listen, you can’t just go around and try to tell those guys chocolate milk comes from a brown cow and just hope every last one of them is Thomas Dipshit.
by Hogtrude Parker June 20, 2021
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redpilled

A term used by conservative internet users to favourably describe their own sociopolitical viewpoints; at its most basic level, it means to have been made aware of something obscure or forbidden.

It originates from 1999 film “The Matrix,” ironically written and directed by two transgender women, in a scene where the protagonist is offered a choice between a literal blue pill to “wake up…and believe whatever he wants to believe” and a red pill to “stay in Wonderland, …be shown deep the rabbit hole goes,” and join a rebellion against the simulated reality he lives in. The red pill itself is believed to have been been modeled after red Premarin-brand tablets, popular as estrogen-boosting medication for transgender women in the 1990s.

Has exactly the same denotation and exactly the opposite connotation as “woke.”
I’m based and redpilled, so the only vidya I play are apolitical masterpieces like Doom, Bioshock, and Dead or Alive!
by Hogtrude Parker March 22, 2021
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Pissed

adjective
1. Intoxicated; drunk. (chiefly British usage)
2. Very annoyed; angry. (chiefly American usage)

verb
1. Past tense of "piss," meaning "to urinate."
Tom is very pissed at the fact that he got pissed last night and pissed himself.
by Hogtrude Parker May 30, 2016
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super straight

A sexual orientation label originating from Tiktok and then chiefly propagated as a psy-op by Neo-nazis from 4chan’s /pol/ (“Politically Incorrect”) board and Kiwifarms, describing heterosexual attraction only to cisgender (non-transgender) people— and framing itself as a minority sexual orientation— as a deliberate organized effort to foster division between transgender people and cisgender lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.

The super straight flag consists of black and orange arranged laterally next to each other, and one of the original March 5, 2021 /pol/ threads made clear that the shortening of “super straight” to “SS” was no accident by stylizing the flag with the Schutzstaffel zig-zag double-S insignia.

The operation also posits similar sexual orientations as “supergay,” “superlesbian,” and “superbisexual,” (attraction only to cisgender men and women), and has made various proposals for an altered version of the LGBT+ acronym to include super straight, such as “LGBS” and “SSLGB.” The term “superphobe” has been used to describe those who oppose super straightness (in practice, anyone the transgender community would consider an ally).

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED: the following example is taken directly from /pol/ and contains several unaltered slurs for transgender and gay people.
“/SS/ super straight general
>>310854278 → #
Making this thread before the other one hits bump limit GOALS
>drive a wedge between trannies and other fag groups
>Redpill zoomers
>Use the left's tactics against themselves, call them bigots for not accepting super straights
>Hit mainstream status
WHAT THE FUCK IA sic HAPPENING
>zoomer on tiktok makes a new sexuality called "super straight" meaning one is attracted only to the biological sex, meaning no trannies
>Countering the tranny logic that troons are "real women"
WHAT I DO
>spam this shit all over, make memes, retweet SS agents on twitter, post on every site imaginable”
—4chan /pol/ thread no. 310864180, March, 5, 2021, by Anonymous (ID: bjG0EDki) 🇺🇸
by Hogtrude Parker May 5, 2021
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