Hedley Clubnobber's definitions

Caerphilly

Caerphilly; Lard-Central! A pleasant summer Saturday can be had watching various 'Valley-Go-Lightlies', 'Salad-Dodgers' & 'Chafers' mashing their way through burgers 'n pop, with tats in every place and a thong for every occasion. Almost as famous for a massive Norman castle, which Cromwell took a dislike to, so blew up. Local politicians refuse to repair it and it's now Wales' own leaning tower. Still, when sober, Valleys people are absoultely the best, which is a good job 'cause there's a lot of 'em size-wise. However, there's a high proportion of Chavs-on-benefits (can there be a Chav not on benefits?) so don't expect sparkling conversation!

Caerphilly High Culture:
A giant Caerphilly cheese outside the job centre.

Low Rollers:
Chavs, Chavs and more Chavs. Oh dear! When will someone rid us of these pestilent vermin?

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

go-lightly

A 'go-lighty'; noun/adj. made famous in UK.TV hidden camera show where grossly overweight people go round knocking things down inadvertently.

'Look at the size of him/her, Mate! What a go-lightly'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

comp

British, sigular - short for 'comprehensive school'. State school system or chain of open prisons depending on whether you're a politician or actually live near/work in/ go to these shit holes. A process by which bright, intelligent, lively, inquisitive children are miseducated into sullen, stupid, violent, bored young adults ready for a life in front of the TV, so they can buy products for the rest of their lives until they die having accomplished....nothing.

Q. S/he's a complete moron. How did s/he get like that?

A. S/he went to a 'comp'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

anoesis

Pronounced 'a-knee-siss':apparently means 'an emotional response to something without understanding' and could be used to describe most British social, political and cultural activity in the 21stC.

a. 'He's just trashed my country!'

b. 'Yeh, he's showing anoesis but he may also be right'

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

EU

European Union; an organised hypocrisy of rapacious corporations, aristocrats and neo-catholics shepherding the mindless flock into Orwell's 1984. Modelled on plans set in place by one A. Hitler (popular Viennese painter and bon viveur; mid 20thC) then continued by every other Euro-demagogue since. Emblem on the EU Paliament, Goddess Europa riding a 10 headed beast. Nuff said! :(

EU taking you to Armageddon with style.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

Oldham

Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.

Q. How do you know a girl from Oldham is having an orgasm?

A. She drops her chips.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006

yorkshire man

oh dear! yorkshire (english county) provides many a salutory tale in how not to behave when away from home. men of that large county tend to be extremely boastful on account of their lack of size in other areas. borish, arrogant, self-opinionated, unforgiving. have a pathological dislike of lancastrians on account of having had their arses thrashed several hundred years ago by said county. treated sympathetically when in lancashire to seek cultural enlightenment. cannot pronounce the word 'cricket'. women of that county provide regular, if 'sameish' entertainment, to lancastrian men living close to the border.

a. I'm a yorkshire man!

b. Then you should leave!

by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006