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Hedley Clubnobber's definitions

Oldham

Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.
Q. How do you know a girl from Oldham is having an orgasm?

A. She drops her chips.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006
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chafer

A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.
S/he's enormous, what a chafer!
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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yeshua

person: hebrew original of Greek equivalent, jesus. loved by direct followers (sometimes but not always known as christians) and by muslims; hated within judaism for showing up the leadership at a bad time and still at it today. semite who regularly gave the jewish hierachy a verbal slapping much to the joy of the oppressed and downtrodden. crucified by the jews and romans out of jealousy and fear, came back from the dead just to piss 'em off. hope of the hopeless, scourge of the self-satisfied.
yeshua: double affirmative ; yes! hua!
by Hedley Clubnobber September 29, 2006
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newport

Newport, South Wales, another chav hot-spot badly in need of a WMD. Sandwich filling between Bristol and Cardiff like a bug between a road and a shoe. The Romans abondoned the area around 410ad and the British Labour Party eventually took over, hence it remains a ruin. The river Usk flows through it and the M4 goes past it. Never stop or you'll lose your hubcaps. Scene of Chaterist Rebellion and the founding of the Trade Union Movement, so not all bad news. Nice on the outskirts.
Newport Highlights;
Ringland, Alway, Somerton & Duffryn council estates designed by 1960's graduate town planners on speed, now scenic backdrops to Mordor; Pil for the final volcano scene.
Everything-for-a-Pound Shops.
Splendind Transporter Bridge (now that is a work of engineering art)
The Steel Works (now abandoned too)
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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manci

pronouncewd 'man-key': dirty, filthy, grubby, grimey; derived from a person living in Manchester, UK, known to all surrounding towns as 'Mancs', and associated with the industrial revolution when everyone and everything was a stranger to soap.
a) oh, look at her/him! S/he's manci!

b) indeed, s/he does comes from south Lancashire.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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yorkshire man

oh dear! yorkshire (english county) provides many a salutory tale in how not to behave when away from home. men of that large county tend to be extremely boastful on account of their lack of size in other areas. borish, arrogant, self-opinionated, unforgiving. have a pathological dislike of lancastrians on account of having had their arses thrashed several hundred years ago by said county. treated sympathetically when in lancashire to seek cultural enlightenment. cannot pronounce the word 'cricket'. women of that county provide regular, if 'sameish' entertainment, to lancastrian men living close to the border.
a. I'm a yorkshire man!

b. Then you should leave!
by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006
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anoesis

Pronounced 'a-knee-siss':apparently means 'an emotional response to something without understanding' and could be used to describe most British social, political and cultural activity in the 21stC.
a. 'He's just trashed my country!'

b. 'Yeh, he's showing anoesis but he may also be right'
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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