Hedley Clubnobber's definitions

spangle

a scattering of stars and also the name of a british hardened candy/sweet in the 1970's and contained the sorts of chemicals that sent kids into orbit. an affectionate term for one who shines out and is unique.

a. 'How are you spangle?'

b. 'I'll be fine when the sweets have worn off. Can you undo my space suit?'

by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006

EU

European Union; an organised hypocrisy of rapacious corporations, aristocrats and neo-catholics shepherding the mindless flock into Orwell's 1984. Modelled on plans set in place by one A. Hitler (popular Viennese painter and bon viveur; mid 20thC) then continued by every other Euro-demagogue since. Emblem on the EU Paliament, Goddess Europa riding a 10 headed beast. Nuff said! :(

EU taking you to Armageddon with style.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

idea

Something which, if considered good, cannot ever be used in a democratic society, the plural of which can only be prevented by joining any major political party. Something which a 'chav' never gets but a human may have when staring down to the bottom of an empty beer glass.

a. 'That's a good idea, Prime Minister'.

b. 'You swine!'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

Oldham

Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.

Q. How do you know a girl from Oldham is having an orgasm?

A. She drops her chips.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006

chafer

A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.

S/he's enormous, what a chafer!

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

newport

Newport, South Wales, another chav hot-spot badly in need of a WMD. Sandwich filling between Bristol and Cardiff like a bug between a road and a shoe. The Romans abondoned the area around 410ad and the British Labour Party eventually took over, hence it remains a ruin. The river Usk flows through it and the M4 goes past it. Never stop or you'll lose your hubcaps. Scene of Chaterist Rebellion and the founding of the Trade Union Movement, so not all bad news. Nice on the outskirts.

Newport Highlights;
Ringland, Alway, Somerton & Duffryn council estates designed by 1960's graduate town planners on speed, now scenic backdrops to Mordor; Pil for the final volcano scene.
Everything-for-a-Pound Shops.
Splendind Transporter Bridge (now that is a work of engineering art)
The Steel Works (now abandoned too)

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

comp

British, sigular - short for 'comprehensive school'. State school system or chain of open prisons depending on whether you're a politician or actually live near/work in/ go to these shit holes. A process by which bright, intelligent, lively, inquisitive children are miseducated into sullen, stupid, violent, bored young adults ready for a life in front of the TV, so they can buy products for the rest of their lives until they die having accomplished....nothing.

Q. S/he's a complete moron. How did s/he get like that?

A. S/he went to a 'comp'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006