Hedley Clubnobber's definitions
making lots of money out of people's misery. part of the burgeoning 'new professions class' of the late 20thC and usually a socialist, liberal or worse. social workers took over where the church left off. may know the difference between right and wrong but doesn't see why it should apply to them. a secular priest, monk or nun who enforces politically acceptable thought and behaviour on the hapless, helpless and hopeless. talks complete psychobabble with no scientific foundation whatsoever. often pilloried for taking children into care or leaving them to die; whichever the press find most distressing at the time. almost always an insecure individual who should be having therapy not giving it.
MALE of type tries to compensate for the low social status by talking complete bollocks at the pub.
FEMALE, usually a cat owner, likely to be crazy as a coot and in medieval times would have been burned as a witch.
SW MANAGER has generally failed even at this low level and so exacerbates the public's woes with incompetence in leadership.
most SWs try to avoid mentioning it at parties or face the prospect of further rejection. secretly support the British National Party.
MALE of type tries to compensate for the low social status by talking complete bollocks at the pub.
FEMALE, usually a cat owner, likely to be crazy as a coot and in medieval times would have been burned as a witch.
SW MANAGER has generally failed even at this low level and so exacerbates the public's woes with incompetence in leadership.
most SWs try to avoid mentioning it at parties or face the prospect of further rejection. secretly support the British National Party.
social worker; 'As a social worker, I like to consider the full psycho-socio-sexual-ethnic dynamic in operation in any given situation or mele before drawing a tentative conclusion or proposal. I mean, I may not even go so far as to reach a conclusion, perhaps only hinting at a possible resolution, if that's ok with you?, which may in fact or actually not even be so certain as that. Is that wrong d'ya think?? I believe people should be allowed to live their own lives without interference from the state until we interfere. Failure is a negative concept and I don't like to use that word. However, the true answer may only ever be 'Yes'...or...'No' or...'Maybe'.... and it's never absolutely cl..'
normal person; 'Sorry to interupt. I'm afraid it's too late, the child / old person has been battered into the next life!'
normal person; 'Sorry to interupt. I'm afraid it's too late, the child / old person has been battered into the next life!'
by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006
Get the social workermug. Arrive on holday, never leave. Best city in Britian but not for the reasons the politicians would have you believe. Usual scattering of council estate dumping grouds that politics forgot. Made better by the fact that hunderds of thousands of Valley folk come here every week to work, shop and entertain the locals. Full of amazing Welsh women. The graveyard of ambition. With the Beacons to the north, sea to the south and Llanelli to the west, why on earth would you want to go east?
Famous for:
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 14, 2006
Get the cardiffmug. Small town/village in West Wales UK, that somehow, against all the odds, remains human, friendly and welcoming. You'll hear Welsh spoken just about everywhere by locals and not just by pretentious, crachach-welsh-wannabe-shit-heads from Cardiff. Some great pubs with great real ale, all in easy staggering distance of each other; so not just mass produced crap served to chavs, that drives you mental (which we hope they will continue serving to chavs, of course).
Sheep & cattle auction right next to the main street; how cool is that? Most locals have abandoned fashion in favour of having a life. Cool hippie shops and cafs galore.
Sheep & cattle auction right next to the main street; how cool is that? Most locals have abandoned fashion in favour of having a life. Cool hippie shops and cafs galore.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
Get the newcastle emlynmug. A town in South Wales. Scene of an awful genetic experiment in the late 20th C, that turned everyone into a chav. Barry leaves you feeling you've just spent an hour blowing up a balloon with a hole it.
The juvenile courts do a brisk trade.
Like most Welsh Towns the locals set the tone with a fair share of 'go-lightlies' on high-carb, high-fat, plenty-of-it diets. Oblivious as to how stupid they look, a pleasant Saturday can be spent watching local salad- dodgers grazing in the run-down shopping area. (However cannot rival Caerphilly as 'Fat Central'}
High Points:
Port Road; which largely avoids the place altogether.
Barry Island; which largely avoids culture altogether.
The local chemical works; main attraction.
The docks; which in the rain look like a lowry painting .
Er....that's it.
The juvenile courts do a brisk trade.
Like most Welsh Towns the locals set the tone with a fair share of 'go-lightlies' on high-carb, high-fat, plenty-of-it diets. Oblivious as to how stupid they look, a pleasant Saturday can be spent watching local salad- dodgers grazing in the run-down shopping area. (However cannot rival Caerphilly as 'Fat Central'}
High Points:
Port Road; which largely avoids the place altogether.
Barry Island; which largely avoids culture altogether.
The local chemical works; main attraction.
The docks; which in the rain look like a lowry painting .
Er....that's it.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006
Get the barrymug. Something which, if considered good, cannot ever be used in a democratic society, the plural of which can only be prevented by joining any major political party. Something which a 'chav' never gets but a human may have when staring down to the bottom of an empty beer glass.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
Get the ideamug. Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006
Get the Oldhammug. a desolation: Describes most inner city areas or major British conurbations. Robbed of individuality by retailing corporations, bent politics, comprehensive education and architectural vandals over a period of decades. More atmosphere on the lunar surface, somewhat less ineteresting than watching paint dry.
a. 'This town is dead'.
b. 'It's a desolation of a place. Let's go to Cardiff before they finish that off too'.
b. 'It's a desolation of a place. Let's go to Cardiff before they finish that off too'.
by Hedley Clubnobber September 16, 2008
Get the desolationmug.