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Hedley Clubnobber's definitions

communist

A believer; specifically in a political-economic religion. Identical to fascist, fundamentalist, maoist, capitalist, banker. Believes most humans can contribute equally except those who contribute nothing, in which case they form the 'Blessed Leadership'.
Wishes to replace one form of expolitation with another to prove the point.
Believes in 'The State' but not in the 'individual'.
Doesn't believe in God but does believe in Gold (Spot the difference?> That's right!; there's 'L' in gold). Against natural law, believes opposites repel and, therefore, finds freedom confusing, worrisome & always dangerous.
Joyfully celebrates success by parading earth-cracking weapons from time-to-time and then explodes them, rendering large parts of the world uninhabitable.
Famous communist experiments in equality:
In the Soviet Union, everbody queued.
In China, everyone has the same haircut.
In Tibet, everyone is beaten regularly.
In Albania & Zimbabwe, everyone is dog-poor.
In the European Union they are preparing to queue, have the same haircut, be beaten regularly & become dog-poor.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 28, 2006
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newport

Newport, South Wales, another chav hot-spot badly in need of a WMD. Sandwich filling between Bristol and Cardiff like a bug between a road and a shoe. The Romans abondoned the area around 410ad and the British Labour Party eventually took over, hence it remains a ruin. The river Usk flows through it and the M4 goes past it. Never stop or you'll lose your hubcaps. Scene of Chaterist Rebellion and the founding of the Trade Union Movement, so not all bad news. Nice on the outskirts.
Newport Highlights;
Ringland, Alway, Somerton & Duffryn council estates designed by 1960's graduate town planners on speed, now scenic backdrops to Mordor; Pil for the final volcano scene.
Everything-for-a-Pound Shops.
Splendind Transporter Bridge (now that is a work of engineering art)
The Steel Works (now abandoned too)
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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yeshua

person: hebrew original of Greek equivalent, jesus. loved by direct followers (sometimes but not always known as christians) and by muslims; hated within judaism for showing up the leadership at a bad time and still at it today. semite who regularly gave the jewish hierachy a verbal slapping much to the joy of the oppressed and downtrodden. crucified by the jews and romans out of jealousy and fear, came back from the dead just to piss 'em off. hope of the hopeless, scourge of the self-satisfied.
yeshua: double affirmative ; yes! hua!
by Hedley Clubnobber September 29, 2006
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chafer

A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.
S/he's enormous, what a chafer!
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
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merican

shortened form of 'a-merican' but may generally decribe someone who doesn't believe another world exists outside their national borders. generally stupid, ill-educated and naive. eats garbage but thinks it's food, votes republican or democrat but still says they're expressing choice. believes in God but doesn't see the implications! believes Jesus is cool but still can't see the implications!! believes in the antichrist 'without' but not 'within'. supports the zionazi state of israel without question. believes in the 'american dream' but only by being permanently asleep to the truth.
a. 'that was like talking to the wall!'

b. 'Aw, bless 'em, must be merican'
by Hedley Clubnobber September 4, 2006
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barry

A town in South Wales. Scene of an awful genetic experiment in the late 20th C, that turned everyone into a chav. Barry leaves you feeling you've just spent an hour blowing up a balloon with a hole it.
The juvenile courts do a brisk trade.
Like most Welsh Towns the locals set the tone with a fair share of 'go-lightlies' on high-carb, high-fat, plenty-of-it diets. Oblivious as to how stupid they look, a pleasant Saturday can be spent watching local salad- dodgers grazing in the run-down shopping area. (However cannot rival Caerphilly as 'Fat Central'}
High Points:
Port Road; which largely avoids the place altogether.
Barry Island; which largely avoids culture altogether.
The local chemical works; main attraction.
The docks; which in the rain look like a lowry painting .
Er....that's it.
'Barry; A Great Place To Leave'
by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006
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cardiff

Arrive on holday, never leave. Best city in Britian but not for the reasons the politicians would have you believe. Usual scattering of council estate dumping grouds that politics forgot. Made better by the fact that hunderds of thousands of Valley folk come here every week to work, shop and entertain the locals. Full of amazing Welsh women. The graveyard of ambition. With the Beacons to the north, sea to the south and Llanelli to the west, why on earth would you want to go east?
Famous for:
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 14, 2006
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