Hedley Clubnobber's definitions
Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006
Get the Oldham mug.A town in South Wales. Scene of an awful genetic experiment in the late 20th C, that turned everyone into a chav. Barry leaves you feeling you've just spent an hour blowing up a balloon with a hole it.
The juvenile courts do a brisk trade.
Like most Welsh Towns the locals set the tone with a fair share of 'go-lightlies' on high-carb, high-fat, plenty-of-it diets. Oblivious as to how stupid they look, a pleasant Saturday can be spent watching local salad- dodgers grazing in the run-down shopping area. (However cannot rival Caerphilly as 'Fat Central'}
High Points:
Port Road; which largely avoids the place altogether.
Barry Island; which largely avoids culture altogether.
The local chemical works; main attraction.
The docks; which in the rain look like a lowry painting .
Er....that's it.
The juvenile courts do a brisk trade.
Like most Welsh Towns the locals set the tone with a fair share of 'go-lightlies' on high-carb, high-fat, plenty-of-it diets. Oblivious as to how stupid they look, a pleasant Saturday can be spent watching local salad- dodgers grazing in the run-down shopping area. (However cannot rival Caerphilly as 'Fat Central'}
High Points:
Port Road; which largely avoids the place altogether.
Barry Island; which largely avoids culture altogether.
The local chemical works; main attraction.
The docks; which in the rain look like a lowry painting .
Er....that's it.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 1, 2006
Get the barry mug.Arrive on holday, never leave. Best city in Britian but not for the reasons the politicians would have you believe. Usual scattering of council estate dumping grouds that politics forgot. Made better by the fact that hunderds of thousands of Valley folk come here every week to work, shop and entertain the locals. Full of amazing Welsh women. The graveyard of ambition. With the Beacons to the north, sea to the south and Llanelli to the west, why on earth would you want to go east?
Famous for:
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 14, 2006
Get the cardiff mug.Caerphilly; Lard-Central! A pleasant summer Saturday can be had watching various 'Valley-Go-Lightlies', 'Salad-Dodgers' & 'Chafers' mashing their way through burgers 'n pop, with tats in every place and a thong for every occasion. Almost as famous for a massive Norman castle, which Cromwell took a dislike to, so blew up. Local politicians refuse to repair it and it's now Wales' own leaning tower. Still, when sober, Valleys people are absoultely the best, which is a good job 'cause there's a lot of 'em size-wise. However, there's a high proportion of Chavs-on-benefits (can there be a Chav not on benefits?) so don't expect sparkling conversation!
Caerphilly High Culture:
A giant Caerphilly cheese outside the job centre.
Low Rollers:
Chavs, Chavs and more Chavs. Oh dear! When will someone rid us of these pestilent vermin?
A giant Caerphilly cheese outside the job centre.
Low Rollers:
Chavs, Chavs and more Chavs. Oh dear! When will someone rid us of these pestilent vermin?
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
Get the Caerphilly mug.A 'go-lighty'; noun/adj. made famous in UK.TV hidden camera show where grossly overweight people go round knocking things down inadvertently.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
Get the go-lightly mug.A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
Get the chafer mug.British socialist experiment (further enhanced by successive generations of hapless politicians) that forced fee paying schools out of business, raised the school leaving age and tried to give all children between 4 and 16 a basic education in several subjects. 'Basic' is about as good as it gets for most victims forced as they are into mind-numbing boredom, despair and violence. Most schools are like open, juvenile prisons. Still, American state schools make every one of 'em look like Oxford!
teenage pregnancy? routine bullying? can't read and write without the aid of 15 years further education? teacher's all suicidal? no future? no motivation? no prospects? It has to be comprehensive education!
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
Get the comprehensive education mug.