An afficionado of adult entertainment.
"Hey Janet, could we move the sales meeting to the conference room? The pornophile across from my office is watching a three-way on his widescreen."
"It's nine thirty in the morning."
"It's porno, Janet, not gin."
"It's nine thirty in the morning."
"It's porno, Janet, not gin."
by Harris Bergstein December 18, 2006
A man, usually of Mediterranean or Latin origin, who receives gifts from a woman in exchange for providing her with companionship and sex. Typically, this relationship involves a younger man and an older woman. The younger man will usually have a name like Carlo or Konstantine and he will regularly wax his scrotum and will under no circumstances ever button his shirt higher than his sternum.
by Harris Bergstein December 22, 2006
A form of cross-country training originally from Sweden, but adapted to a city environment. Like traditional backcountry fartlek, stoplight fartlek involves changing the tempo of the run, except instead of instinctually changing pace, the speed is governed by traffic and lights.
"I thought I'd take a leisurely jog around the park, but it turned into a stoplight fartlek when I tried to ride a greenwave and dodge a couple buses."
by Harris Bergstein July 15, 2008
Remember that one part where Billy Dee Williams calls up his buddy with the robotic bluetooth headphones and he goes and IMs Darth Vader, who's all like "L0LZ, 1 4/\/\ j00r f4t-3r!!! PWN3|)!" That was awesome.
by Harris Bergstein December 22, 2006
1. A poorly maintained tambourine. Perhaps because it got dropped in a puddle or left outside or something.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
1.
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
by Harris Bergstein October 18, 2007
A user-written compendium of cocktail recipes.
Bert: "I can't find 'Flaming Nazi Buster' in bourbon dictionary."
Jan: "Look under 'Nazi Buster, Flaming.'"
Bert: "Oh."
Jan: "Look under 'Nazi Buster, Flaming.'"
Bert: "Oh."
by Harris Bergstein March 27, 2007
The artful display of the bared nipples or cooter, typically while entering or exiting a limousine, possibly while accompanied by other tween queens or noted amateur pornographers, in the hopes that such displays of surgery-mangled teats or Cletus-ravage pissflaps will attract the fickle lens of an itinerant paparazzo, with the ultimate goal of garnering column inches in Entertainment Weekly. Historically, actresses and singers of dubious talent have had the dignity and self-respect to limit such displays to the centerfolds of men's magazines--where the graces of airbrushing and a little vaseline on the lens masks all manner of caesarean scars, razorburns, and waxrashes. If this trend continues, it is only a matter of a short span of time and a large pile of blow before the phrase "to go Lohando," in addition to the traditonal nip and quim slips, will also come to include deliberate public displays of one's horribly distended anal pucker and the televised insertion of specula into every unplumbed orifice. But hey, it still beats watching <I>Freaky Friday.</I>
Carlo: I think I might go Lohando, but I'm worried that these Daisy Dukes might interfere with my dangle.
Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
by Harris Bergstein December 18, 2006