Harris Bergstein's definitions

juggalo

A man, usually of Mediterranean or Latin origin, who receives gifts from a woman in exchange for providing her with companionship and sex. Typically, this relationship involves a younger man and an older woman. The younger man will usually have a name like Carlo or Konstantine and he will regularly wax his scrotum and will under no circumstances ever button his shirt higher than his sternum.

"Man, there were a lot of juggalos at that ICP concert last night."

by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006

rusty tambourine

1. A poorly maintained tambourine. Perhaps because it got dropped in a puddle or left outside or something.

2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.

1.
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."

2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."

by Harris Bergstein November 3, 2007

back-pocket panini

The culinary delight that results from riding the subway with your lunch in your back pocket. Kind of like a modern-day saddle steak.

My wallet felt a little softer than usual when I sat down on the L this morning and then I remembered I'd put a PBJ in my pocket. By the time I got to work, it was the perfect back-pocket panini, flat and warm. Only thing missing was grill marks.

by Harris Bergstein April 30, 2009

General Lee

Is way cooler than Night Rider.

The Hasslehoff isn't cool enough to squeegee the windshield of the General Lee.

by Harris Bergstein December 25, 2006

sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe

The superlative form of Jesus. (Comparative: "Jesus H. Christ" or "Sweeter Jesus.")

Sam: "Sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe!"

by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006

teek

The practice of purchasing an item and then returning a different (usually inferior or obsolete) item in the original packaging for a refund or credit. The term is usually applied to electronic components (video cards and the like), where such substitutions are likely to pass unnoticed. The practice is also generally limited to big-box stores like Best Buy or Wal*Mart, where sales volume, employee apathy, and managerial incompetence combine to create an extremely subterfuge-friendly environment.

The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."

For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router

"Wow, an 80 Gig iPod! How much did that set you back?"
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."

"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."

by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006

office espresso

That last cup of coffee left in the office pot at 4:30 in the afternoon, you know, the one that's been cooking down all day until it's thick as molasses, burned, and dirty like 10,000-mile-old engine oil. Mmmm-mmmh.

Bob: That smells delightful. What is it, a vente americano from Starbucks?
Nancy: Nope, I just added some hot tap water to three fingers of office espresso.

by Harris Bergstein January 24, 2007