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Hammer of Jesus's definitions

scrotumnal equinox

The rare occurrence of a pair of testicles hanging perfectly equidistant to the ground, as opposed to their regular offset position.
Tony: Bro check out my balls! Total scrotumnal equinox!

Harold: Impressive symmetry! Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Tony: Damn straight, now open wide homie!
by Hammer of Jesus May 29, 2020
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Fumming

The simultaneous occurrence of flatulence and ejaculation. Particularly common among the elderly who have weak bowel and penile control.
Jenny: Mom! Grandpa is fumming all over the place again!

Karen: Well, grab some towels and start cleaning him up!

Jenny: Ewwwww! I don’t wanna clean up grandpa’s nasty fum! It stinks!

Karen: Shut the fuck up and clean your grandpa’s fum or you’re grounded!
by Hammer of Jesus March 2, 2020
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Squeech

A synonym for ejaculation. Fun to say.
Bro, did you just squeech on my balls?!
by Hammer of Jesus February 12, 2020
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heinous anus gayness

A situation involving heavy sexual deviance of the rectum amid a furious homosexual encounter.
Bob: I heard Frank had to get reconstructive surgery on his asshole after spending an evening with Don.

Gerald: Just one night? Damn, there must have been seriously heinous anus gayness afoot.
by Hammer of Jesus August 17, 2019
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BBCBT

An award-winning combination between the classic themes of Big Black Cocks and Cock and Ball Torture, resulting in a streamlined term, BBCBT.
Gerald: I heard the boys were headed to Bill’s house tonight for a chill BBCBT sesh. You down?

Tom: When the fuck have I ever said no to some dank BBCBT with the boys?!
by Hammer of Jesus July 13, 2019
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Beaner executioner

A person who is professionally employed by a private or federal entity, whose job is to eliminate hispanics in large and profitable quantities.
Javier: I just nailed a Beaner executioner job with the Fed! 55k a year plus dental!

Jon: Wait, but you’re Mexican right?

Javier: So? It’s nothing personal, and the benefits are dope! Can’t wait to pop me some frijoleros!
by Hammer of Jesus May 2, 2019
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penis rinser

A designated person whose job it is to rinse penis. The penis rinser may be assigned to a single, or multiple penises.
Geoff: Man, I really got it all over the place with that cumfart...we’re gonna need some tissues.

Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.

Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!
by Hammer of Jesus April 24, 2019
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