Grinning Cat's definitions

man box

The rules for "acting like a man"; the mentality, behaviors and restrictions that many men and boys are socialized to conform to. These tenets of the "cult of masculinity" are both symptoms and enablers of Dominator Culture. They can be so pervasive as to be almost invisible; yet they lead men to disrespect, mistreat, and abuse women and each other.

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THE MAN BOX

Demonstrate power/control (especially over women)

Aggression - Dominance - yell - intimidate

Do not cry openly or express emotions (except for anger)

Do not express weakness or fear - "take it"

Don't back down - don't make mistakes

Do not be "like a woman"

Heterosexual

Have lots of sex with women - "conquests"

Do not be "like a gay man"

Tough/Athletic/Competitive/Strength/Courage

Make Decisions - Never ask for help

Women viewed as property/objects (especially sexual objects)
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(Based largely on Tony Porter's TED talk "A Call to Men")

This is the love of my life, my daughter Jay. The world I envision for her -- how do I want men to be acting and behaving? ... I need you working with me and me working with you on how we raise our sons and teach them to be men -- that it's okay to not be dominating, that it's okay to have feelings and emotions, that it's okay to promote equality, that it's okay to have women who are just friends and that's it, that it's okay to be whole, that my liberation as a man is tied to your liberation as a woman.

I remember asking a nine-year-old boy ... "What would life be like for you, if you didn't have to adhere to this man box?" He said to me, "I would be free."

by Grinning Cat March 28, 2013

pence

(v.) to avoid answering a question, as exemplified by Indiana Governor Mike Pence in his interview on "This Week" on March 29, 2015, about the broad "religious freedom" bill he signed.

Examples of pencing:

George Stephanopoulos: "Yes or no: If a florist in Indiana refuses to serve a gay couple at their wedding, is that legal now in Indiana?"
Mike Pence: "George, this is where this debate has gone."

"Is that true or not?"
"George, look, the issue here is that, y'know..."

"Yes or no: should it be legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians?"
"George, you're following the mantra of the last week online, and you're trying to make the issue about something else."

by Grinning Cat April 1, 2015

ain't

am not, are not, is not; have not, has not; do not, does not, did not.

"Ain't" ain't a word 'cause "ain't" ain't in the dictionary.

by Grinning Cat January 8, 2013

congresscritter

A congresswoman or congressman: an elected official who serves in the House of Representatives, the lower house of the United States Congress. "Congresscritters" can also, loosely, include U.S. Senators. The term is gender-neutral, and also attempts to remove these elected representatives from their pedestals.

"Writing to your congresscritters about an issue may seem pointless, but when enough people -- you and your friends and their friends and THEIR friends -- make their voices heard, the congresscritters will realize that their chances of reelection ARE affected by doing the right thing."

by Grinning Cat January 5, 2009

fuckwit

Someone who cluelessly increases the noise-to-signal ratio on Urban Dictionary with hundreds of useless entries.

"1. Figga

A fake ass Nigga

All this Figgaz wanna fuck with a real Nigga like me."

What the fuck is this shit, and who's the fuckwit that wrote it?

(Definition adapted from, and example by, SonOfSamus)

by Grinning Cat January 31, 2017

Jibbers Crabst

All hail our crustacean Lord and Savior™!

"I believe... that all things on this earth were created... by GOD!
And I don't mean Jesus. And I don't mean Buddha. And I don't mean Allah.
And I don't mean some general god that we can all rally around and believe in.
I mean my god, my town, and my church.
My god is a fire-breathing lobster who lives behind the rings of Saturn.
And his name is Jibbers Crabst."

(Matt Inman, keynote speaker at BAHFest West 2014)

by Grinning Cat April 7, 2015

Dominator Culture

A model of culture and human relations based on hierarchy, ranking, power, and control. Masculinity is equated with control, conquest, and violence: men dominating women and children.

Opposite to Partnership Culture.

In a domination system...

Humans are flawed and dangerous.

Difference is equated with superiority or inferiority.

Power is used to control and destroy through hierarchies of domination.

Competition means "dog eat dog"; "every man for himself".

People cooperate to dominate others.

Huge gaps between haves and have-nots

Nature is a resource to be dominated, depleted and polluted.

Morality of insensitivity, control, and coercion.

(Based on the Center for Partnership Studies' summary of points from Riane Eisler's _The Power of Partnership_ and David Korten's _The Great Turning_)

Dominator culture teaches all of us that the core of our identity is defined by the will to dominate and control others. We are taught that this will to dominate is more biologically hardwired in males than in females. In actuality, dominator culture teaches us that we are all natural-born killers but that males are more able to realize the predator role. In the dominator model the pursuit of external power, the ability to manipulate and control others, is what matters most. When culture is based on a dominator model, not only will it be violent but it will frame all relationships as power struggles.
(bell hooks)

by Grinning Cat March 28, 2013