Grant Rampus's definitions
When a corporate directive is given, resources allocated and countless hours spent on an initiative, only to be questioned later (by the executive who actually gave the directive) why this directive is being executed and demanding to know who gave the directive.
Executive: I demand to know why we spent $958,000 on studying the t-sprocket usefulness when clearly we’re getting out of the t-sprocket business.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
by Grant Rampus August 30, 2019
Get the Corporate amnesia mug.The indescribable frustration felt waiting an eternity for the stop light to turn green at an intersection. Further exacerbated by thinking your light is changing and you start to go, only to be still red and the other lane starts turning. And you feel like an asshole sitting partially out in the intersection with a 40% chance of being T-boned.
by Grant Rampus August 8, 2016
Get the Stoplight rage mug.An affliction of the sexually active whose hips are sore from banging their significant other too fast, too long, in one sexual episode. While generally not considered a long term problem, those suffering from this medical condition will take solace knowing that, while their hips have a dull ache, those on the receiving end of Fucker’s Hip have been fucked into virtual paralysis.
Crawling from his bed to the bathroom, and unable to put together any semblance of a gait, Dave knew immediately he was a victim of Fucker’s Hip.
by Grant Rampus January 19, 2019
Get the Fucker’s Hip mug.Most men, particularly husbands, are earsighted - the condition of being borderline deaf when 3 feet from their spouse. Problem amplified when their wife is assigning chores or talking about her day. Fortunately, those afflicted with being earsighted are usually quite adept at hearing far away, like when their friend has pulled into the driveway to take them away.
The doctor put down his ear scope after examining Jeff and asked him if his wife started a new job. Upon Jeff confirming, the ear doctor explained that Jeff was suffering from a case of being earsighted.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2022
Get the Earsighted mug.In corporate America the guy who wines and dines clients, occasionally resulting in new business. Most often named Chad or Ken, these guys are perpetually 32-years-old and store golf clubs in their trunks so they can sell their BS on a golf course. Unofficial concierges since they know every bar and restaurant in town.
by Grant Rampus July 9, 2016
Get the BD guy mug.The hospital’s invisible line outside the main lobby doors where they wheel their patients to after they are discharged. Utterly nervous that the discharged patient will slip and fall before they exit the hospital, a collective sigh of relief by the hospital lawyers after the patient has been wheeled to the line of liability, steps out of the wheelchair, and walks away.
The hospital staff gingerly helped the discharged patient exit out of the wheelchair and take a step over the Line of Liability. The patient could have collapsed after that and crawled to their car, but it wouldn’t matter; they had crossed the Line of Liability.
by Grant Rampus March 8, 2022
Get the Line of Liability mug.A common Boston saying when driving, since no one in the city uses a blinker. This rude, yet common, driving behavior transcends all ages and gender.
by Grant Rampus August 2, 2016
Get the Nice blinker, asshole mug.