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Grant Rampus's definitions

Line-dick

The asshole in line at the counter of a convenience store who is oblivious to the growing line of customers behind them, while they continue to purchase more lottery tickets. Usually white trash as the main culprit, second place offenders are retirees. Problem amplified on pay day/social security check day.
What took you so long to get a loaf of bread?

Sorry, some line-dick was on a roll with scratch tickets.
by Grant Rampus July 11, 2016
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Sell the dream, live the nightmare

The mantra of every salesperson alive, they promise the client unachievable results if they just sign on the line. Once the dream is sold, the operations team then needs to unravel the web of deceit sold and "recalibrate" the client's expectations (i.e., the nightmare).
Todd: " How did we lose our biggest client last week?"

Tyler: "It seems once they talked with Operations they realized there was no way they could make that deadline. Another classic example of 'sell the dream, live the nightmare."
by Grant Rampus July 31, 2016
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iPad elbow

A medical condition of the affluent, mainly incurred by having your arms at a 90 degree angle while holding your iPad in bed for a prolonged period of time. Problem exacerbated when trying to hold the iPad with one hand and jacking off with the other.
Sorry I cannot help you move next weekend. I'm suffering from iPad elbow.
by Grant Rampus July 14, 2016
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Dick-in-charge

When all rational thought and behavior goes out the window on a sexual conquest. More succinctly put, when you are no longer in charge of rational decision making, as your dick is calling all the shots.
Larry was clearly no longer in control when he flirted so heavily out of his league with Linda. He was suffering from a case of dick-in-charge.
by Grant Rampus August 16, 2016
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Real estate developer

The chief strategist of a building project and general rapist of the land needed to "improve" the community. Cunningly masters the art of deception as he solicits investors and prepares bogus tax returns for financing the project.

An expert at filing for bankruptcy at the end of every business cycle, still manages to live in a huge house, while those residents he displaced still search for affordable housing.
The real estate developer paid homage to the historical neighborhood he razed by cladding his own 15,000 square foot mansion in brick.
by Grant Rampus July 7, 2016
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8 9 10 Rule

Standard calling etiquette needed for morons who would otherwise call people at any hour of the day. Monday - Friday you don’t call someone before 8am, Saturday before 9am, or Sunday before 10am.
Bob was awakened by his cell phone ringing at 6:43am. It was his drunk buddy Dale returning Bob’s call from yesterday. Clearly Dale needed to enroll at phone etiquette school to understand the 8 9 10 rule.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2023
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Divorce diet

The unintended weight loss that occurs from going through a divorce. Possibly nature's way of removing 15 years of being a sloth to get you ready for dating again. Don't throw the old clothes out yet; all lost weight comes back once settled down after the rebound relationship.
Holy shit, Monica is looking hot! She must be hitting the gym after Todd left her.

Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
by Grant Rampus July 28, 2016
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