Adorning the wall of a hospital main lobby, the donation wall of shame outlines for patients and visitors alike how much individuals and corporations have donated to the already tax-free hospital. Shamefully categorizes the donors into patronizing names such as “gold donor” and “friend.”
The donation wall of shame at St. Agnes Memorial Hospital always greeted visitors with a reminder of how strategic Home Depot was with their tax write-off, but also how cheap the other businesses were in town.
by Grant Rampus September 22, 2019
Rarely the main breadwinner in a marriage, the wife’s contribution to the household income to get a larger mortgage, fancier car, etc. Typically ranging from $30k to $45k, the wife salary also allows for smaller alimony or child support payments when the inevitable divorce happens.
When Tom met with the bank, he was able to explain why - through the wife salary - he qualified for a larger mortgage. Exact same argument when he met with the divorce attorney 2 years later, but the reverse argument in why he didn’t need to pay alimony.
by Grant Rampus September 25, 2021
Ex wife: the gold digging whore you share custody of your kids with and owns all your stuff. Primary reason you sleep on a fouton above a Seven-Eleven.
by Grant Rampus July 06, 2016
The unit of measurement that smokers use between destinations to determine if they should light up a cigarette, with the reasonable certainty it will be smoked by the time they arrive. White trash only use this measurement when giving directions to other white trash.
Jimmy to his common law wife: How far is the Walmart from the bar?
Common law wife to Jimmy: the cigarette distance is about 3 cigarettes.
Common law wife to Jimmy: the cigarette distance is about 3 cigarettes.
by Grant Rampus February 16, 2019
The asshole in line at the counter of a convenience store who is oblivious to the growing line of customers behind them, while they continue to purchase more lottery tickets. Usually white trash as the main culprit, second place offenders are retirees. Problem amplified on pay day/social security check day.
What took you so long to get a loaf of bread?
Sorry, some line-dick was on a roll with scratch tickets.
Sorry, some line-dick was on a roll with scratch tickets.
by Grant Rampus July 12, 2016
A medical condition of the affluent, mainly incurred by having your arms at a 90 degree angle while holding your iPad in bed for a prolonged period of time. Problem exacerbated when trying to hold the iPad with one hand and jacking off with the other.
by Grant Rampus July 14, 2016
What most celebrities and professional athletes have to embark upon after disgracing their families, co-workers, etc. for very bad personal decisions. Standouts include sleeping with the nanny or crashing your car while on a cocktail of fentanyl and cocaine. Playbook calls for an immediate retreat to a treatment center where you emerge 30 days later with a bible in hand.
This year’s #1 NFL draft pick was missing from society for 30 days, until last Tuesday when he emerged from Our Lady of Miraculous Recovery Treatment Center, bible in hand. Beginning his apology tour, he stepped up to the podium he began to thank those that helped him and was truly sorry for those he hurt during his recent car crash (high on cocaine) with the half-dressed nanny in the passenger seat.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2023