Grant Rampus's definitions

BD guy

In corporate America the guy who wines and dines clients, occasionally resulting in new business. Most often named Chad or Ken, these guys are perpetually 32-years-old and store golf clubs in their trunks so they can sell their BS on a golf course. Unofficial concierges since they know every bar and restaurant in town.

The BD guy sells the dream, while the operations guy lives the nightmare.

by Grant Rampus July 9, 2016

Line-dick

The asshole in line at the counter of a convenience store who is oblivious to the growing line of customers behind them, while they continue to purchase more lottery tickets. Usually white trash as the main culprit, second place offenders are retirees. Problem amplified on pay day/social security check day.

What took you so long to get a loaf of bread?

Sorry, some line-dick was on a roll with scratch tickets.

by Grant Rampus July 11, 2016

iPad elbow

A medical condition of the affluent, mainly incurred by having your arms at a 90 degree angle while holding your iPad in bed for a prolonged period of time. Problem exacerbated when trying to hold the iPad with one hand and jacking off with the other.

Sorry I cannot help you move next weekend. I'm suffering from iPad elbow.

by Grant Rampus July 14, 2016

Divorried

That post-divorce phase where you're past all the bullshit of child support, new spouses, etc. and can stand your ex-spouse again.

I was surprised to see Bill actually talking to Susan in her driveway when he was picking the kids up for the weekend.

That's because Bill and Susan are divorried now.

by Grant Rampus July 24, 2016

Divorce diet

The unintended weight loss that occurs from going through a divorce. Possibly nature's way of removing 15 years of being a sloth to get you ready for dating again. Don't throw the old clothes out yet; all lost weight comes back once settled down after the rebound relationship.

Holy shit, Monica is looking hot! She must be hitting the gym after Todd left her.

Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.

by Grant Rampus July 28, 2016

Sell the dream, live the nightmare

The mantra of every salesperson alive, they promise the client unachievable results if they just sign on the line. Once the dream is sold, the operations team then needs to unravel the web of deceit sold and "recalibrate" the client's expectations (i.e., the nightmare).

Todd: " How did we lose our biggest client last week?"

Tyler: "It seems once they talked with Operations they realized there was no way they could make that deadline. Another classic example of 'sell the dream, live the nightmare."

by Grant Rampus July 31, 2016

Nice blinker, asshole

A common Boston saying when driving, since no one in the city uses a blinker. This rude, yet common, driving behavior transcends all ages and gender.

"Nice blinker, asshole!" said the Bostonian as the yellow Subaru cut him off.

by Grant Rampus August 2, 2016