Grant Rampus's definitions
Rarely the main breadwinner in a marriage, the wife’s contribution to the household income to get a larger mortgage, fancier car, etc. Typically ranging from $30k to $45k, the wife salary also allows for smaller alimony or child support payments when the inevitable divorce happens.
When Tom met with the bank, he was able to explain why - through the wife salary - he qualified for a larger mortgage. Exact same argument when he met with the divorce attorney 2 years later, but the reverse argument in why he didn’t need to pay alimony.
by Grant Rampus September 25, 2021
Get the Wife salary mug.What most celebrities and professional athletes have to embark upon after disgracing their families, co-workers, etc. for very bad personal decisions. Standouts include sleeping with the nanny or crashing your car while on a cocktail of fentanyl and cocaine. Playbook calls for an immediate retreat to a treatment center where you emerge 30 days later with a bible in hand.
This year’s #1 NFL draft pick was missing from society for 30 days, until last Tuesday when he emerged from Our Lady of Miraculous Recovery Treatment Center, bible in hand. Beginning his apology tour, he stepped up to the podium he began to thank those that helped him and was truly sorry for those he hurt during his recent car crash (high on cocaine) with the half-dressed nanny in the passenger seat.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2023
Get the Apology tour mug.The appropriate distance one must live from their in-laws so they can tolerate them. General rule of thumb is just far enough so they can't drop by unannounced.
When looking at new houses, Rick had to tactfully remind his new wife that the appropriate distance-in-law in that state was no less than 75 miles.
by Grant Rampus August 31, 2016
Get the Distance-in-law mug.When a corporate directive is given, resources allocated and countless hours spent on an initiative, only to be questioned later (by the executive who actually gave the directive) why this directive is being executed and demanding to know who gave the directive.
Executive: I demand to know why we spent $958,000 on studying the t-sprocket usefulness when clearly we’re getting out of the t-sprocket business.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
by Grant Rampus August 30, 2019
Get the Corporate amnesia mug.When you are self-treating a minor sprain and cannot remember if you apply ice first, then heat. Or heat than ice. Further complicated by the fact no one really knows no matter who you ask.
Jimmy applied ice to his sprained wrist then a heat pad. Then he applied the heat pad, then ice. He was covering his bases because he was trapped in the ice heat defeat.
by Grant Rampus November 25, 2019
Get the Ice heat defeat mug.Generally a woman named Melinda or Judy that is single in her 40s (occasionally divorced in her late 50s), that wears a navy suit while researching and communicating health benefits. Other useless tasks endeavored include interviewing more qualified people then they are and facilitating sexual harassment trainings to those in the verge of bringing the company down with sexual exploitations of their admins.
by Grant Rampus July 4, 2016
Get the Human Resource Manager mug.Ex wife: the gold digging whore you share custody of your kids with and owns all your stuff. Primary reason you sleep on a fouton above a Seven-Eleven.
by Grant Rampus July 5, 2016
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