Grant Rampus's definitions
The appropriate distance one must live from their in-laws so they can tolerate them. General rule of thumb is just far enough so they can't drop by unannounced.
When looking at new houses, Rick had to tactfully remind his new wife that the appropriate distance-in-law in that state was no less than 75 miles.
by Grant Rampus August 31, 2016
Get the Distance-in-lawmug. When a corporate directive is given, resources allocated and countless hours spent on an initiative, only to be questioned later (by the executive who actually gave the directive) why this directive is being executed and demanding to know who gave the directive.
Executive: I demand to know why we spent $958,000 on studying the t-sprocket usefulness when clearly we’re getting out of the t-sprocket business.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
by Grant Rampus August 30, 2019
Get the Corporate amnesiamug. When you are self-treating a minor sprain and cannot remember if you apply ice first, then heat. Or heat than ice. Further complicated by the fact no one really knows no matter who you ask.
Jimmy applied ice to his sprained wrist then a heat pad. Then he applied the heat pad, then ice. He was covering his bases because he was trapped in the ice heat defeat.
by Grant Rampus November 25, 2019
Get the Ice heat defeatmug. The hospital’s invisible line outside the main lobby doors where they wheel their patients to after they are discharged. Utterly nervous that the discharged patient will slip and fall before they exit the hospital, a collective sigh of relief by the hospital lawyers after the patient has been wheeled to the line of liability, steps out of the wheelchair, and walks away.
The hospital staff gingerly helped the discharged patient exit out of the wheelchair and take a step over the Line of Liability. The patient could have collapsed after that and crawled to their car, but it wouldn’t matter; they had crossed the Line of Liability.
by Grant Rampus March 8, 2022
Get the Line of Liabilitymug. Adorning the wall of a hospital main lobby, the donation wall of shame outlines for patients and visitors alike how much individuals and corporations have donated to the already tax-free hospital. Shamefully categorizes the donors into patronizing names such as “gold donor” and “friend.”
The donation wall of shame at St. Agnes Memorial Hospital always greeted visitors with a reminder of how strategic Home Depot was with their tax write-off, but also how cheap the other businesses were in town.
by Grant Rampus September 22, 2019
Get the Donation wall of shamemug. That post-divorce phase where you're past all the bullshit of child support, new spouses, etc. and can stand your ex-spouse again.
I was surprised to see Bill actually talking to Susan in her driveway when he was picking the kids up for the weekend.
That's because Bill and Susan are divorried now.
That's because Bill and Susan are divorried now.
by Grant Rampus July 24, 2016
Get the Divorriedmug. The dreaded tip expectation that comes during the Christmas holiday season and is expected by every service provider, from the mailman to the hair stylist. Confusion abounds on who is actually worthy of this extra tip, how much, and when the cut off date is. More specifically, there is a magical day in December (before Christmas) when there is an understanding that it’s the usual tip and one hasn’t crossed the threshold of holiday tipping. Generally thought to be December 15th.
Jimmy raced to the barber to get his haircut on December 15th, knowing that the holiday tip expectation was upon him.
by Grant Rampus December 10, 2019
Get the Holiday tipmug.