37 definitions by Grant Rampus
The appropriate distance one must live from their in-laws so they can tolerate them. General rule of thumb is just far enough so they can't drop by unannounced.
When looking at new houses, Rick had to tactfully remind his new wife that the appropriate distance-in-law in that state was no less than 75 miles.
by Grant Rampus August 31, 2016
A common Boston saying when driving, since no one in the city uses a blinker. This rude, yet common, driving behavior transcends all ages and gender.
by Grant Rampus August 2, 2016
Best show on HBO that no one has ever watched. Main reason for streaming HBO to your Apple TV, although you still won't watch it.
"Hey Dave, I just started streaming The Wire on Apple TV. Have you watched it?"
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
by Grant Rampus July 4, 2016
The chief strategist of a building project and general rapist of the land needed to "improve" the community. Cunningly masters the art of deception as he solicits investors and prepares bogus tax returns for financing the project.
An expert at filing for bankruptcy at the end of every business cycle, still manages to live in a huge house, while those residents he displaced still search for affordable housing.
An expert at filing for bankruptcy at the end of every business cycle, still manages to live in a huge house, while those residents he displaced still search for affordable housing.
The real estate developer paid homage to the historical neighborhood he razed by cladding his own 15,000 square foot mansion in brick.
by Grant Rampus July 7, 2016
The unintended weight loss that occurs from going through a divorce. Possibly nature's way of removing 15 years of being a sloth to get you ready for dating again. Don't throw the old clothes out yet; all lost weight comes back once settled down after the rebound relationship.
Holy shit, Monica is looking hot! She must be hitting the gym after Todd left her.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
by Grant Rampus July 28, 2016
Most men, particularly husbands, are earsighted - the condition of being borderline deaf when 3 feet from their spouse. Problem amplified when their wife is assigning chores or talking about her day. Fortunately, those afflicted with being earsighted are usually quite adept at hearing far away, like when their friend has pulled into the driveway to take them away.
The doctor put down his ear scope after examining Jeff and asked him if his wife started a new job. Upon Jeff confirming, the ear doctor explained that Jeff was suffering from a case of being earsighted.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2022
The hospital’s invisible line outside the main lobby doors where they wheel their patients to after they are discharged. Utterly nervous that the discharged patient will slip and fall before they exit the hospital, a collective sigh of relief by the hospital lawyers after the patient has been wheeled to the line of liability, steps out of the wheelchair, and walks away.
The hospital staff gingerly helped the discharged patient exit out of the wheelchair and take a step over the Line of Liability. The patient could have collapsed after that and crawled to their car, but it wouldn’t matter; they had crossed the Line of Liability.
by Grant Rampus March 9, 2022