Grant Rampus's definitions
The perplexed look of Uber customers on sidewalks staring at your car at a red light, trying to decide if you're their Uber driver or if it's a different blue Honda Accord they're supposed to get into.
The tourist couple approached the tan sedan at the red light and were reaching for the door handle of what they thought was their Uber driver's car. Hesitating to open the door, they were clearly struck with confubersion.
by Grant Rampus November 9, 2016
Get the Confubersionmug. The mantra of every salesperson alive, they promise the client unachievable results if they just sign on the line. Once the dream is sold, the operations team then needs to unravel the web of deceit sold and "recalibrate" the client's expectations (i.e., the nightmare).
Todd: " How did we lose our biggest client last week?"
Tyler: "It seems once they talked with Operations they realized there was no way they could make that deadline. Another classic example of 'sell the dream, live the nightmare."
Tyler: "It seems once they talked with Operations they realized there was no way they could make that deadline. Another classic example of 'sell the dream, live the nightmare."
by Grant Rampus July 31, 2016
Get the Sell the dream, live the nightmaremug. The asshole in line at the counter of a convenience store who is oblivious to the growing line of customers behind them, while they continue to purchase more lottery tickets. Usually white trash as the main culprit, second place offenders are retirees. Problem amplified on pay day/social security check day.
What took you so long to get a loaf of bread?
Sorry, some line-dick was on a roll with scratch tickets.
Sorry, some line-dick was on a roll with scratch tickets.
by Grant Rampus July 11, 2016
Get the Line-dickmug. The chief strategist of a building project and general rapist of the land needed to "improve" the community. Cunningly masters the art of deception as he solicits investors and prepares bogus tax returns for financing the project.
An expert at filing for bankruptcy at the end of every business cycle, still manages to live in a huge house, while those residents he displaced still search for affordable housing.
An expert at filing for bankruptcy at the end of every business cycle, still manages to live in a huge house, while those residents he displaced still search for affordable housing.
The real estate developer paid homage to the historical neighborhood he razed by cladding his own 15,000 square foot mansion in brick.
by Grant Rampus July 7, 2016
Get the Real estate developermug. The unintended weight loss that occurs from going through a divorce. Possibly nature's way of removing 15 years of being a sloth to get you ready for dating again. Don't throw the old clothes out yet; all lost weight comes back once settled down after the rebound relationship.
Holy shit, Monica is looking hot! She must be hitting the gym after Todd left her.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
by Grant Rampus July 28, 2016
Get the Divorce dietmug. Standard calling etiquette needed for morons who would otherwise call people at any hour of the day. Monday - Friday you don’t call someone before 8am, Saturday before 9am, or Sunday before 10am.
Bob was awakened by his cell phone ringing at 6:43am. It was his drunk buddy Dale returning Bob’s call from yesterday. Clearly Dale needed to enroll at phone etiquette school to understand the 8 9 10 rule.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2023
Get the 8 9 10 Rulemug. Generally a woman named Melinda or Judy that is single in her 40s (occasionally divorced in her late 50s), that wears a navy suit while researching and communicating health benefits. Other useless tasks endeavored include interviewing more qualified people then they are and facilitating sexual harassment trainings to those in the verge of bringing the company down with sexual exploitations of their admins.
by Grant Rampus July 4, 2016
Get the Human Resource Managermug.