Grant Rampus's definitions
When you are self-treating a minor sprain and cannot remember if you apply ice first, then heat. Or heat than ice. Further complicated by the fact no one really knows no matter who you ask.
Jimmy applied ice to his sprained wrist then a heat pad. Then he applied the heat pad, then ice. He was covering his bases because he was trapped in the ice heat defeat.
by Grant Rampus November 25, 2019
Get the Ice heat defeat mug.The indescribable frustration felt waiting an eternity for the stop light to turn green at an intersection. Further exacerbated by thinking your light is changing and you start to go, only to be still red and the other lane starts turning. And you feel like an asshole sitting partially out in the intersection with a 40% chance of being T-boned.
by Grant Rampus August 8, 2016
Get the Stoplight rage mug.An affliction of the sexually active whose hips are sore from banging their significant other too fast, too long, in one sexual episode. While generally not considered a long term problem, those suffering from this medical condition will take solace knowing that, while their hips have a dull ache, those on the receiving end of Fucker’s Hip have been fucked into virtual paralysis.
Crawling from his bed to the bathroom, and unable to put together any semblance of a gait, Dave knew immediately he was a victim of Fucker’s Hip.
by Grant Rampus January 19, 2019
Get the Fucker’s Hip mug.Most men, particularly husbands, are earsighted - the condition of being borderline deaf when 3 feet from their spouse. Problem amplified when their wife is assigning chores or talking about her day. Fortunately, those afflicted with being earsighted are usually quite adept at hearing far away, like when their friend has pulled into the driveway to take them away.
The doctor put down his ear scope after examining Jeff and asked him if his wife started a new job. Upon Jeff confirming, the ear doctor explained that Jeff was suffering from a case of being earsighted.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2022
Get the Earsighted mug.In corporate America the guy who wines and dines clients, occasionally resulting in new business. Most often named Chad or Ken, these guys are perpetually 32-years-old and store golf clubs in their trunks so they can sell their BS on a golf course. Unofficial concierges since they know every bar and restaurant in town.
by Grant Rampus July 9, 2016
Get the BD guy mug.The hospital’s invisible line outside the main lobby doors where they wheel their patients to after they are discharged. Utterly nervous that the discharged patient will slip and fall before they exit the hospital, a collective sigh of relief by the hospital lawyers after the patient has been wheeled to the line of liability, steps out of the wheelchair, and walks away.
The hospital staff gingerly helped the discharged patient exit out of the wheelchair and take a step over the Line of Liability. The patient could have collapsed after that and crawled to their car, but it wouldn’t matter; they had crossed the Line of Liability.
by Grant Rampus March 8, 2022
Get the Line of Liability mug.That post-divorce phase where you're past all the bullshit of child support, new spouses, etc. and can stand your ex-spouse again.
I was surprised to see Bill actually talking to Susan in her driveway when he was picking the kids up for the weekend.
That's because Bill and Susan are divorried now.
That's because Bill and Susan are divorried now.
by Grant Rampus July 24, 2016
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