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Global Feetus's definitions

rip off your head and shit down your windpipe

An cautionary expression used in the USMC."Rip off your head and shit down your windpipe" gently warns the listener " Please pay attention, I'm not joking here. Thank you for you consideration."
1."Dammit, Dave I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your windpipe if your try to go out with my sister!

2. "Your going to force me to rip off your head and shit down your windpipe if you insist on breaking in line."

3. "QUIT EYEBALLING ME BOY. I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your windpipe if you don't get some polish on those boots."
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Up Periscope!

1. The act of slowly floating upwards in a hot tub while erect or in the vernacular ,sporting a woody.

Origins: First to properly execute an up periscope one must first " blow ballast " by farting in the hot tub.

If undetected by the other occupants, preferably female, the "scope master" will raise his body until the head of his penis slowly breaks the surface. If he remains undetected he will slowly continue to push his penis farther out of the water until detected.

When detected he will yell "Down Scope" and rapidly pull his body downwards while acting as if nothing happened. If he remains undetected that means the female occupants of the hot tub are receptive or totally hammered, in either case, this often results in a "torpedo" attack after he yells UP SCOPE!

2.A mythical command often seen in WWII movies to raise the periscope. Up periscope is not used by modern submariners. The officer of the deck will inform the watch standers submarines control room the he is "Raising Number 1 ( or # 2 ) scope." at which time he will rotate the periscope ring that activates the raising / lowering mechanism.
1. Dave's penis was totaly out of the water when he yelled " Up Periscope!" "Euwwwwwww a dick!" screamed Denise.

2. "Up Periscope!" Ensign Jones commanded. The watch standers looked at each other in quizzical disbelief. Don't you mean "Raising Number 1 scope?" asked the Cheif of the Watch. " "Uh...right Cheif"...Ensign Jones demurred.
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Tightassville

Slang for Titusville Florida. pr: Tight-ass-ville.

Refers to the uptight anal retentive city council, the reactionary politics and the 2 to 1 ratio of Baptist Churches to citizens (in the city). There are so many churches that parishoners often attend services in up to three separate churches, going from church to church each Sunday just to keep them all open.
1. Dave sighed;"You cant throw a dead cat in Tightassville without hitting a damn Baptist Church."

2. "The Tightassville City Council voted to prohibit slavery today. Lincoln would be proud."

3. "The Tightassville city council passed the Defense of Marriage act prohibiting gay marriage. Now they are working on the brother-sister wording for the amendment"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Blue Rage

Blue Rage; Blue Raged

1.Describes outbursts of uncontrolled temper and /or aggressive driving by Senior Citizens. A problem in Florida and Arizona particularity from snow birds.
2. Used to describe the haughty, self entitled indignation exhibited by seniors ( snow birds) toward residents in area with high snow bird populations.
1. " Officer all I did was change lanes. Granny followed me and threw this can of Ensure and hit me in the face!" " Yep Signal 505,Blue Rage." agreed the officer."That's going the leave a scar." added the officer.

2. " Listen son Ive been shopping at Walmart for 60 years and I have never paid more than 15 cents for an apple. Stupid pimple faced cretin. I fought WWII for this?"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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schmear

1.NYC Deli slang for the act coating a bagel with a small amount of cream cheese.
2. A small amount of any condiment applied to a food item.
3. A medical test for women from New York.
1. "Hey Marty a poppy seed with a schmear ." (NOTE:To use schmear authentically the customer usually mumbles while he waits just loud enough for other customers to hear something like: "Oy is so hot in here , I should be so rich to pay this electric bill. How does he make a living? Such a waste.")
2. Klutz...I said a schmear of mustard...not the whole jar."
2. I am so verklempt my doctor wants me to get another pap schmear. I should live that long!"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Titsville

Unintentional misspelling of Titusville Florida on mail addresses , order and address forms and in newspapers. See Tightassville. Considered "naughty."
1. Phone Order clerk:" I want to confirm that address again. You want that delivered to 104 Oak Street in Titsville ( teheheh) Florida 32783? Right? (teheheh)
Female Customer: " (sigh)No, No..that's Titusville....
Phone Order clerk: "Oh..It looked like Titsville!"
Female Customer: "Gee I've never heard that before. Listen pervert, congratulations you said "tits" to a customer. Now can we finish order...do you want my credit card number or my bra size?"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Mousehole

Mousehole, mouseholes

1. Adult tourist( See tourista) that visit Disney World who exhibit childish or idiotic behavior. Mouseholes are easily identified by characteristic items of clothing ; oversized Micky Mouse ears, a "Cat in the Hat" hat or a "Its a Small World"fanny pack."
2. Surly Disney employees or managers.
1. "Geez ,that mousehole in the Taurus cut me off on the Beachline and I had to circle around to get back on."

2. "Damn, that mousehole grinned right at me and purposely gave me a screwed up soda..its all syrup."

3. "Nice hat, mousehole!
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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