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Global Feetus's definitions

hammered dogshit

1.The appearance of a person who is extremely hungover or in the process of getting shit faced.

2 A POS Honda with cracked nose fairings and a huge spoiler, both painted in gray primer.

3. Anything unsightly or particularly ugly.
1."Christ, Dave you look like hammered dogshit."

2.Dude you call that a ride? It looks like hammered dogshit!

3. After he totaled his dads car his face looked like hammered dogshit.
by Global Feetus April 1, 2007
mugGet the hammered dogshitmug.

cheek slapper

A hugh expulsion of flatulence that causes the mussels of the glutumus maximus to slap together. Often used as a independent demonstrative expression of awe or pride of accomplishment.
Wheew...that was a real cheek slapper! or
Wait for it...now THAT was a real cheek slapper!
by Global Feetus April 2, 2007
mugGet the cheek slappermug.

Up Periscope!

1. The act of slowly floating upwards in a hot tub while erect or in the vernacular ,sporting a woody.

Origins: First to properly execute an up periscope one must first " blow ballast " by farting in the hot tub.

If undetected by the other occupants, preferably female, the "scope master" will raise his body until the head of his penis slowly breaks the surface. If he remains undetected he will slowly continue to push his penis farther out of the water until detected.

When detected he will yell "Down Scope" and rapidly pull his body downwards while acting as if nothing happened. If he remains undetected that means the female occupants of the hot tub are receptive or totally hammered, in either case, this often results in a "torpedo" attack after he yells UP SCOPE!

2.A mythical command often seen in WWII movies to raise the periscope. Up periscope is not used by modern submariners. The officer of the deck will inform the watch standers submarines control room the he is "Raising Number 1 ( or # 2 ) scope." at which time he will rotate the periscope ring that activates the raising / lowering mechanism.
1. Dave's penis was totaly out of the water when he yelled " Up Periscope!" "Euwwwwwww a dick!" screamed Denise.

2. "Up Periscope!" Ensign Jones commanded. The watch standers looked at each other in quizzical disbelief. Don't you mean "Raising Number 1 scope?" asked the Cheif of the Watch. " "Uh...right Cheif"...Ensign Jones demurred.
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
mugGet the Up Periscope!mug.

Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity!

1.A fruit covered breakfast dish a Denney's

2. A spontaneous exclamation of surprise by a person whose flatulence (fart)is extremely foul.
1. May I have a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity and some coffee.

2. Suddenly Dave jumped up from the table and exclaimed "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity!" "Christ, Dave what did you eat grundle cakes?" said Jason
by Global Feetus April 1, 2007
mugGet the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity!mug.

Blue Rage

Blue Rage; Blue Raged

1.Describes outbursts of uncontrolled temper and /or aggressive driving by Senior Citizens. A problem in Florida and Arizona particularity from snow birds.
2. Used to describe the haughty, self entitled indignation exhibited by seniors ( snow birds) toward residents in area with high snow bird populations.
1. " Officer all I did was change lanes. Granny followed me and threw this can of Ensure and hit me in the face!" " Yep Signal 505,Blue Rage." agreed the officer."That's going the leave a scar." added the officer.

2. " Listen son Ive been shopping at Walmart for 60 years and I have never paid more than 15 cents for an apple. Stupid pimple faced cretin. I fought WWII for this?"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
mugGet the Blue Ragemug.

pack sand

1. A nautical Expression. Pack Sand originates from the onerous task of filling (or refilling existing) sands bags used for ballast. On sailing ships "sand packing" was done in the bilges. In the days of sail the bilges contained all types of wastes including but limited to fecal material, dead animals and other effluents. Also see pound sand

2. A seafaring insult. When one was told to "pack sand" it was considered a huge insult often resulting in a heated exchange of salty language.Also see pound sand
1. "Bosun Jones tell Seaman Jones to lay below for the sand packing detail."

2"Arrrgh pack sand mate..wait yer turn like ye others." Typical Response: Arr go f@3$% yerself you c@!*%&& b$5#2! son of a whore. "
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
mugGet the pack sandmug.

grundle grumble

grundle grumble ( grundle grumbler, grundle grumbling )

1: When a young lady is pleasuring her partner by kissing or licking his grundle the scrotum will cover the womans mouth preventing intelligible speech.

2: Flatulence that is prevented from escaping up the butt crack that flows over the grundle impacting the scrotum making a distinctive rumbling sound. Grundle grumbles are particularly evident when seated on leather or vinyl seating surfaces or those cheesy fiberglass chairs in laundromats.

3. Mysterious sounds that emanate from the grundle.
1. Whats that honey? I can't hear what you saying you grundle grumbling bitch you.

2. Jesus Dave I heard that grundle grumble from here. Stop farting on my leather seats..no more fucking burritos for you.

3. What the fuck was that? Oh..a fucking grundle grumble. Sorry. Do you have any fabric softener?
by Global Feetus April 2, 2007
mugGet the grundle grumblemug.

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