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Global Feetus's definitions

Tightassville

Slang for Titusville Florida. pr: Tight-ass-ville.

Refers to the uptight anal retentive city council, the reactionary politics and the 2 to 1 ratio of Baptist Churches to citizens (in the city). There are so many churches that parishoners often attend services in up to three separate churches, going from church to church each Sunday just to keep them all open.
1. Dave sighed;"You cant throw a dead cat in Tightassville without hitting a damn Baptist Church."

2. "The Tightassville City Council voted to prohibit slavery today. Lincoln would be proud."

3. "The Tightassville city council passed the Defense of Marriage act prohibiting gay marriage. Now they are working on the brother-sister wording for the amendment"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
mugGet the Tightassvillemug.

schmear

1.NYC Deli slang for the act coating a bagel with a small amount of cream cheese.
2. A small amount of any condiment applied to a food item.
3. A medical test for women from New York.
1. "Hey Marty a poppy seed with a schmear ." (NOTE:To use schmear authentically the customer usually mumbles while he waits just loud enough for other customers to hear something like: "Oy is so hot in here , I should be so rich to pay this electric bill. How does he make a living? Such a waste.")
2. Klutz...I said a schmear of mustard...not the whole jar."
2. I am so verklempt my doctor wants me to get another pap schmear. I should live that long!"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
mugGet the schmearmug.

Blue Rage

Blue Rage; Blue Raged

1.Describes outbursts of uncontrolled temper and /or aggressive driving by Senior Citizens. A problem in Florida and Arizona particularity from snow birds.
2. Used to describe the haughty, self entitled indignation exhibited by seniors ( snow birds) toward residents in area with high snow bird populations.
1. " Officer all I did was change lanes. Granny followed me and threw this can of Ensure and hit me in the face!" " Yep Signal 505,Blue Rage." agreed the officer."That's going the leave a scar." added the officer.

2. " Listen son Ive been shopping at Walmart for 60 years and I have never paid more than 15 cents for an apple. Stupid pimple faced cretin. I fought WWII for this?"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
mugGet the Blue Ragemug.

grundle grumble

grundle grumble ( grundle grumbler, grundle grumbling )

1: When a young lady is pleasuring her partner by kissing or licking his grundle the scrotum will cover the womans mouth preventing intelligible speech.

2: Flatulence that is prevented from escaping up the butt crack that flows over the grundle impacting the scrotum making a distinctive rumbling sound. Grundle grumbles are particularly evident when seated on leather or vinyl seating surfaces or those cheesy fiberglass chairs in laundromats.

3. Mysterious sounds that emanate from the grundle.
1. Whats that honey? I can't hear what you saying you grundle grumbling bitch you.

2. Jesus Dave I heard that grundle grumble from here. Stop farting on my leather seats..no more fucking burritos for you.

3. What the fuck was that? Oh..a fucking grundle grumble. Sorry. Do you have any fabric softener?
by Global Feetus April 2, 2007
mugGet the grundle grumblemug.

cheek slapper

A hugh expulsion of flatulence that causes the mussels of the glutumus maximus to slap together. Often used as a independent demonstrative expression of awe or pride of accomplishment.
Wheew...that was a real cheek slapper! or
Wait for it...now THAT was a real cheek slapper!
by Global Feetus April 2, 2007
mugGet the cheek slappermug.

Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity!

1.A fruit covered breakfast dish a Denney's

2. A spontaneous exclamation of surprise by a person whose flatulence (fart)is extremely foul.
1. May I have a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity and some coffee.

2. Suddenly Dave jumped up from the table and exclaimed "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity!" "Christ, Dave what did you eat grundle cakes?" said Jason
by Global Feetus April 1, 2007
mugGet the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity!mug.

rip off your head and shit down your windpipe

An cautionary expression used in the USMC."Rip off your head and shit down your windpipe" gently warns the listener " Please pay attention, I'm not joking here. Thank you for you consideration."
1."Dammit, Dave I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your windpipe if your try to go out with my sister!

2. "Your going to force me to rip off your head and shit down your windpipe if you insist on breaking in line."

3. "QUIT EYEBALLING ME BOY. I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your windpipe if you don't get some polish on those boots."
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
mugGet the rip off your head and shit down your windpipemug.

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