Skip to main content

GlennyJ's definitions

The Elusive Monogamous Slutsquatch

The one (rumoured-to-exist) woman who comes off as a complete lady of the highest order, while in public. She encompasses elegance, grace, poise and refinement. She is compassionate, intelligent, and kind. She is incredibly fit and has the nicest figure a man could imagine. She dresses in a conservatively sexy manner and has great taste in clothes. She never dresses like a slut, no matter what the occasion (i.e. She does not take part in Slut-O-Ween, or wear yoga pants in public.)

However, contrary to her conservative appearance, she becomes a savage when engaging in sexual activity, and she will push sexual boundaries to their animalistic limits, but not go too far. Her natural ability, desire and skills required to pleasure both her man and herself knows no equal. No man or woman, who only knows of her in pubic, would ever even suspect that her animalistic 'other side' exists.

She transcends the proverbial 'lady in the streets, whore in the sheets', and is the female version of a sexual Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Oddly, she does not want to sleep with any 'other' guy she meets because she is completely focused with pleasing her one man --- the man who discovers her true identity.

Background:

- Many women appear prim proper while in public, and they ARE sexual prudes in private. (no surprises here)
- Many women appear slutty in public, and they ARE slutty in private. (no surprises here)
- The elusive monogamous slutsquatch would both rock and shock the man who found her.
ex. I thought my then-girlfriend (???) was the elusive monogamous slutsquatch, however, I left her alone for a week and she slept with her ex-boyfriend. Then she started checking out other men and commenting on them, in sexual manner, in front of both her young daughter and myself (which is quite classless). Yeah, (???) was not the elusive monogamous slutsquatch, but we had some great and memorable times together while I was investigating the possibility that she was the one.

*** The elusive slutsquatch's existence has NOT been verified, however, some men have claimed to have 'thought' they observed her in both her natural habitats (in public, and in private). She is widely rumoured to exist, but sadly there is no verification. She could be caught right now, and no one would know because of the aforementioned attributes. ***
by GlennyJ November 10, 2013
mugGet the The Elusive Monogamous Slutsquatch mug.

double-handed rub

double-handed rub:

- going at your gear and masturbating with two hands instead of one
- obviously, a GREAT masturbation technique which kind of explains itself

Background:

- Two hands are better than one.
- The male version usually involves massaging the grapes while cranking the sausage.
- The female version usually entails holding back the curtains while tickling the little-gal-in-the-boat.
Ex.1

Joe just discovered the 'double-handed rub' and now has to use speaker phone during phone sex with Val.

Ex.2

Val used to easily pleasure herself while she was driving, but since she discovered (and totally switched to) the 'double-handed rub', she either pulls her vehicle over to the side of the road or she drives with the cruise control on and steers with her nose or feet.
by GlennyJ December 10, 2013
mugGet the double-handed rub mug.

crackopolis

A city whose Mayor smokes crack and continues to govern.
ex. Thanks to Mayor Rob Ford, the City of Toronto has become a well known crackopolis.
by GlennyJ November 9, 2013
mugGet the crackopolis mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email