24 definitions by GlennyJ
Scotch Rudder:
- is the masturbation-technique (or masterbation-process) of a person helping get themselves off by holding onto the forearm of the arm they are using to masturbate themselves with, and using it to shake the masturbation arm with the arm and hand they are not using on their 'netherly regions'; essentially adding comfort and support while 'steering' the masturbation process
*** despite the name, the Scotch Rudder can be performed by people of any nationality and by non-sailing males, females and whatevers
(DISCLAIMER: this is NOT to be confused with the 'double-handed-rub' which is a totally different masturbation technique)
Background: This technique is generally used by celibate people who really think the Dutch Rudder is cool, but can't find a mate.
- is the masturbation-technique (or masterbation-process) of a person helping get themselves off by holding onto the forearm of the arm they are using to masturbate themselves with, and using it to shake the masturbation arm with the arm and hand they are not using on their 'netherly regions'; essentially adding comfort and support while 'steering' the masturbation process
*** despite the name, the Scotch Rudder can be performed by people of any nationality and by non-sailing males, females and whatevers
(DISCLAIMER: this is NOT to be confused with the 'double-handed-rub' which is a totally different masturbation technique)
Background: This technique is generally used by celibate people who really think the Dutch Rudder is cool, but can't find a mate.
Ex.1
Joe had to use the speaker phone when he was talking to Val because (unbeknownst to her) he was in the process of giving himself a Scotch Rudder. However, Joe was clever enough to say he 'had to go' and hung up, before he went.
Ex.2
Jim: What is taking Val so long in the washroom?
Bob: Val belongs to the self-help group called 'Sex Without Partners', and I am sure she is in there giving herself a Scotch Rudder, again!
Ex.3
Jim: Did you hear about Richards accident and how he lost his left arm?
Bob: Yeah. What a shame. I also heard he used to like to do the Scotch Rudder, too. Oh well, he can always go Dutch.
Joe had to use the speaker phone when he was talking to Val because (unbeknownst to her) he was in the process of giving himself a Scotch Rudder. However, Joe was clever enough to say he 'had to go' and hung up, before he went.
Ex.2
Jim: What is taking Val so long in the washroom?
Bob: Val belongs to the self-help group called 'Sex Without Partners', and I am sure she is in there giving herself a Scotch Rudder, again!
Ex.3
Jim: Did you hear about Richards accident and how he lost his left arm?
Bob: Yeah. What a shame. I also heard he used to like to do the Scotch Rudder, too. Oh well, he can always go Dutch.
by GlennyJ December 10, 2013
- the fear that some of the characters on the politically incorrect reality-show Duck Dynasty might push their pro-heterosexual and basic traditional Christian views on sexuality and sin in the mainstream corporate controlled media
Background: Phil Robertson, one the lead characters on the hit reality show Duck Dynasty gave an interview to GQ magazine, and he promoted a heterosexual and Christian lifestyle, and then the cable channel A&E got word of what he said and notified him and the press that they would NOT be permitting Phil to be in the reality show any longer, in an obvious case of bigotry, oppression and suppression of free speech by a major network
Background: Phil Robertson, one the lead characters on the hit reality show Duck Dynasty gave an interview to GQ magazine, and he promoted a heterosexual and Christian lifestyle, and then the cable channel A&E got word of what he said and notified him and the press that they would NOT be permitting Phil to be in the reality show any longer, in an obvious case of bigotry, oppression and suppression of free speech by a major network
-
Ex.
Jim: Did you hear about the suspension of Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty by the A&E executives?
Bob: Yup, sure did!
Jim: Why do you think that is?
Bob: Those anti-Christian pro-homosexual executives at A&E are obviously suffering from Duck Dynophobia!
Ex.
Jim: Did you hear about the suspension of Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty by the A&E executives?
Bob: Yup, sure did!
Jim: Why do you think that is?
Bob: Those anti-Christian pro-homosexual executives at A&E are obviously suffering from Duck Dynophobia!
by GlennyJ December 20, 2013
fake-o-gram:
1. a telegram which is not legitimate or written by the stated author
2. a quantity of a substance which is supposed to be cocaine, heroin or another illicit drug, but isn't
3. a mammogram done on breasts which are not entirely 'genuine equipment' or 'all original gear'
1. a telegram which is not legitimate or written by the stated author
2. a quantity of a substance which is supposed to be cocaine, heroin or another illicit drug, but isn't
3. a mammogram done on breasts which are not entirely 'genuine equipment' or 'all original gear'
Ex.1
My grandfather thought that he got a telegram from Frank Sinatra, but it turned out to be a fake-o-gram from his brother Louie.
Ex.2
My pal Jim once bought what he thought was a gram of cocaine, but it turned out to be a fake-o-gram baking sugar.
Ex.3
My pal Val is awaiting the results of her fake-o-gram on those beautiful sweater puppets.
My grandfather thought that he got a telegram from Frank Sinatra, but it turned out to be a fake-o-gram from his brother Louie.
Ex.2
My pal Jim once bought what he thought was a gram of cocaine, but it turned out to be a fake-o-gram baking sugar.
Ex.3
My pal Val is awaiting the results of her fake-o-gram on those beautiful sweater puppets.
by GlennyJ December 11, 2013
The one (rumoured-to-exist) woman who comes off as a complete lady of the highest order, while in public. She encompasses elegance, grace, poise and refinement. She is compassionate, intelligent, and kind. She is incredibly fit and has the nicest figure a man could imagine. She dresses in a conservatively sexy manner and has great taste in clothes. She never dresses like a slut, no matter what the occasion (i.e. She does not take part in Slut-O-Ween, or wear yoga pants in public.)
However, contrary to her conservative appearance, she becomes a savage when engaging in sexual activity, and she will push sexual boundaries to their animalistic limits, but not go too far. Her natural ability, desire and skills required to pleasure both her man and herself knows no equal. No man or woman, who only knows of her in pubic, would ever even suspect that her animalistic 'other side' exists.
She transcends the proverbial 'lady in the streets, whore in the sheets', and is the female version of a sexual Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Oddly, she does not want to sleep with any 'other' guy she meets because she is completely focused with pleasing her one man --- the man who discovers her true identity.
Background:
- Many women appear prim proper while in public, and they ARE sexual prudes in private. (no surprises here)
- Many women appear slutty in public, and they ARE slutty in private. (no surprises here)
- The elusive monogamous slutsquatch would both rock and shock the man who found her.
However, contrary to her conservative appearance, she becomes a savage when engaging in sexual activity, and she will push sexual boundaries to their animalistic limits, but not go too far. Her natural ability, desire and skills required to pleasure both her man and herself knows no equal. No man or woman, who only knows of her in pubic, would ever even suspect that her animalistic 'other side' exists.
She transcends the proverbial 'lady in the streets, whore in the sheets', and is the female version of a sexual Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Oddly, she does not want to sleep with any 'other' guy she meets because she is completely focused with pleasing her one man --- the man who discovers her true identity.
Background:
- Many women appear prim proper while in public, and they ARE sexual prudes in private. (no surprises here)
- Many women appear slutty in public, and they ARE slutty in private. (no surprises here)
- The elusive monogamous slutsquatch would both rock and shock the man who found her.
ex. I thought my then-girlfriend (???) was the elusive monogamous slutsquatch, however, I left her alone for a week and she slept with her ex-boyfriend. Then she started checking out other men and commenting on them, in sexual manner, in front of both her young daughter and myself (which is quite classless). Yeah, (???) was not the elusive monogamous slutsquatch, but we had some great and memorable times together while I was investigating the possibility that she was the one.
*** The elusive slutsquatch's existence has NOT been verified, however, some men have claimed to have 'thought' they observed her in both her natural habitats (in public, and in private). She is widely rumoured to exist, but sadly there is no verification. She could be caught right now, and no one would know because of the aforementioned attributes. ***
*** The elusive slutsquatch's existence has NOT been verified, however, some men have claimed to have 'thought' they observed her in both her natural habitats (in public, and in private). She is widely rumoured to exist, but sadly there is no verification. She could be caught right now, and no one would know because of the aforementioned attributes. ***
by GlennyJ November 10, 2013
personality transplant:
- would be the desired (but impossible) procedure of swapping a person's personality for another personality
- would be the desired (but impossible) procedure of swapping a person's personality for another personality
Ex.1
Jim: I would so love rearrange that assholic douchbag's face with just one kick or one punch!
Bob: Dude! That wouldn't change the situation. That psychotic douchebag needs a 'personality transplant'.
Ex.2
Jim: I am such a loser!
Bob: That's nothing a 'personality transplant' wouldn't cure.
Ex.3
Jim: I think Jane needs a 'personality transplant'.
Bob: Jane would have to have a personality, first. Jane needs a 'personality install'.
Jim: I would so love rearrange that assholic douchbag's face with just one kick or one punch!
Bob: Dude! That wouldn't change the situation. That psychotic douchebag needs a 'personality transplant'.
Ex.2
Jim: I am such a loser!
Bob: That's nothing a 'personality transplant' wouldn't cure.
Ex.3
Jim: I think Jane needs a 'personality transplant'.
Bob: Jane would have to have a personality, first. Jane needs a 'personality install'.
by GlennyJ December 10, 2013
by GlennyJ November 9, 2013
The condition of a person who is afraid of crackheads and discriminates against people who smoke crack.
Jim: Do you think Rob Ford should still be the Mayor of Toronto?
Bob: Sure! Rob Ford is THE MAN !!!
Jim: Well, I certainly don't think so!
Bob: Yeah. That's because you, Jim ... yes, you Sir ... are suffering from crackophobia!
ex. Glenn Jessome does not think that a crackhead should be a Mayor of a city or drive heavy equipment because he suffering from crackophobia.
Bob: Sure! Rob Ford is THE MAN !!!
Jim: Well, I certainly don't think so!
Bob: Yeah. That's because you, Jim ... yes, you Sir ... are suffering from crackophobia!
ex. Glenn Jessome does not think that a crackhead should be a Mayor of a city or drive heavy equipment because he suffering from crackophobia.
by GlennyJ November 10, 2013