George McBob's definitions
The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"
by George McBob May 21, 2009
Get the Eskommug. by George McBob May 18, 2009
Get the Fusswhipmug. A sleazy wedding chapel, of the kind made famous in Las Vegas.
At a McChapel, you can hire a wedding dress for an hour and get married by an Elvis impersonator. Ushers often expect tips.
At a McChapel, you can hire a wedding dress for an hour and get married by an Elvis impersonator. Ushers often expect tips.
by George McBob April 29, 2009
Get the McChapelmug. S. Afr. word for pickup truck. Pronounced "bucky"
The bakkie holds the same place in the heart and soul of the South African dutchman as the pickup does in that of the American redneck.
The bakkie holds the same place in the heart and soul of the South African dutchman as the pickup does in that of the American redneck.
by George McBob May 18, 2009
Get the bakkiemug. In scuba diving, having reg soup means vomiting into your regulator.
This usually occurs as a result of seasickness, a heavy night out at the dive camp, or a combination of both.
When you make reg soup, your choices are to purge your reg and breath through your own puke for the rest of your dive and hope nobody notices, or switch to your spare reg and look like an idiot in front of your whole dive group.
This usually occurs as a result of seasickness, a heavy night out at the dive camp, or a combination of both.
When you make reg soup, your choices are to purge your reg and breath through your own puke for the rest of your dive and hope nobody notices, or switch to your spare reg and look like an idiot in front of your whole dive group.
Dave: Those were some big swells out there. Getting back into the boat was tough.
Steve: I know. Mike had reg soup during the deco stop.
Dave: Ha ha! What a chop!
Steve: I know. Mike had reg soup during the deco stop.
Dave: Ha ha! What a chop!
by George McBob April 29, 2009
Get the reg soupmug. An extreme sport popular in Soweto, South Africa.
It includes things like hanging onto a moving train and sliding your feet on the platform, standing on the roof and dodging powerlines, jumping on and off repeatedly, jumping from a bridge onto a moving train and jumping between carriages. The more dangerous the stunt, the better.
It is illegal, and fatalities are common
It includes things like hanging onto a moving train and sliding your feet on the platform, standing on the roof and dodging powerlines, jumping on and off repeatedly, jumping from a bridge onto a moving train and jumping between carriages. The more dangerous the stunt, the better.
It is illegal, and fatalities are common
by George McBob May 5, 2009
Get the train surfingmug. After the ANC, Telkom is South Africa's largest crime syndicate.
Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.
They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.
Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.
They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.
Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
It's a proven fact that if you fly 1st class to Hong Kong, stay in a 5 star hotel, buy a laptop, download 100GB onto it and fly back, it will be both QUICKER and CHEAPER than if you stayed in SA and downloaded it on a Telkom line.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
Get the Telkommug.