George McBob's definitions

malemism

1. An outrageous, offensive, insensitive and retarded statement.

2. One of such statements made by (not so youthful) ANC Youth League boss Julius Malema.

3. The South African equivalent of a Bushism.

Some examples of malemisms are:

"We will kill for Zuma"
"We shall rule until Jesus returns"
"I only debate with serious political youth"
"We must intensify the struggle to eliminate the remnants of counter-revolution."(he said this one at a funeral)
"Forces that are opposed to our revolution are still here. We must change the management of this university and also the lecturers." (this despite the fact that he failed matric, and never went to university himself)

by George McBob April 29, 2009

penis

The word that has more synonyms than any other word in the English language

A small selection of the synonyms for "penis":

adder
baby-maker
banana
bazooka
bell-end
bell on a pole
big boy
bishop
beef
beef whistle
boerewors
boerie
boomslang
burrito
bratwurst
cannon
choad
chopper
club
cock
cum shooter
custard launcher
dagger
dick
dickie
ding dong
dog head
dolphin
dong
donger
dork
dragon
drill bit
eggroll
enchilada
fang
fence post
ferret
fire hose
flagpole
frank (& beans)
fuck rod
groin ferret
heat-seeking missile
hose
hog
jackhammer
Jimmy
John
Johnson
John Thomas
joystick
kickstand
knob
krull the warrior king
leaky hose
lingam
little Bob
little Elvis
little guy
lizard (as in "drain the...")
longfellow
Long John
love muscle
luigi
major general
manhood
meat cigar
meat injection
meat popsicle
meat stick
member
meneer
middle stump
mini me
monkey
mushroom head
mutton
noodle
old boy
old fellow
old man
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake (Australia, UK)
one-eyed monster
one-eyed yogurt slinger
pecker
peel
peepee (children's term)
percy
peter
phallus
piece
piston
plug
pole
pork sword
prick
princess sophia
private eye
private part
pump-action shotgun
purple-helmeted warrior
purple-headed yogurt flinger
rocket
rod
rod of pleasure
roundhead
sausage
sceptre
schlong
schmuck, shmuck (Yiddish)
schwanz
schwarz
sergeant major
serpent
shaft
short arm
skin flute
snake
soldier
sperminator
springroll
stick
sword
tadger
tallywhacker
tassle
third leg
thumper
thunderbird
toadstool
todger
tonk
tool
trouser snake
tubesteak
twig (& berries)
vein
wang
wang doodle
weasel
wedding tackle
weeny
weiner
wick
willy (children's term)
winky
wing dang doodle
yingyang
yogurt gun

by George McBob September 7, 2009

Eskom

The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.

They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.

They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.

Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.

A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"

by George McBob May 21, 2009

Eleventh Commandment

Thou shalt not get caught.

The Ten Commandments:

Thou shalt have no other gods before me
Thou shalt not make for yourself an idol
Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of your God
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
Thou shalt honor your father and mother
Thou shalt not murder
Thou shalt not commit adultery
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shalt not covet

The Eleventh Commandment (the most important one)

Thou shalt not get caught.

by George McBob August 31, 2009

cafcebo effect

The phenomenon by which decaf can actually keep you awake, but only if you don't know it's decaf.

The cafcebo effect is a medical mystery.

by George McBob May 17, 2009

bakkie

S. Afr. word for pickup truck. Pronounced "bucky"

The bakkie holds the same place in the heart and soul of the South African dutchman as the pickup does in that of the American redneck.

Koos will bring a braai and some fishing tackle in his bakkie.

by George McBob May 18, 2009

reg soup

In scuba diving, having reg soup means vomiting into your regulator.

This usually occurs as a result of seasickness, a heavy night out at the dive camp, or a combination of both.

When you make reg soup, your choices are to purge your reg and breath through your own puke for the rest of your dive and hope nobody notices, or switch to your spare reg and look like an idiot in front of your whole dive group.

Dave: Those were some big swells out there. Getting back into the boat was tough.
Steve: I know. Mike had reg soup during the deco stop.
Dave: Ha ha! What a chop!

by George McBob April 29, 2009