George McBob's definitions

Telkom

After the ANC, Telkom is South Africa's largest crime syndicate.

Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.

They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.

Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.

It's a proven fact that if you fly 1st class to Hong Kong, stay in a 5 star hotel, buy a laptop, download 100GB onto it and fly back, it will be both QUICKER and CHEAPER than if you stayed in SA and downloaded it on a Telkom line.

by George McBob May 21, 2009

goef

v. to smoke weed.

S. Afr. slang, pronounced "goof"


To be goefed is to be stoned out of your bracket.

Mike went outside to have a goef.

I'm going get lekker goefed tonignt, bru.

by George McBob April 28, 2009

jatwash

Just Another Third World African Shit Hole.

Here's to Mozambique, our favourite jatwash!

by George McBob May 4, 2009

pavement special

Mongrel.

A dog with no discernible breed characteristics. Pavement specials make much better pets that pussy-ass pedigree dogs.

Steve: What breed is Bowser?
Dave: Pavement special.

by George McBob April 29, 2009

Capetonian

Someone from Cape Town.

Welcome home, Capetonians!

by George McBob August 24, 2009

Eleventh Commandment

Thou shalt not get caught.

The Ten Commandments:

Thou shalt have no other gods before me
Thou shalt not make for yourself an idol
Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of your God
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
Thou shalt honor your father and mother
Thou shalt not murder
Thou shalt not commit adultery
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shalt not covet

The Eleventh Commandment (the most important one)

Thou shalt not get caught.

by George McBob August 31, 2009

penis

The word that has more synonyms than any other word in the English language

A small selection of the synonyms for "penis":

adder
baby-maker
banana
bazooka
bell-end
bell on a pole
big boy
bishop
beef
beef whistle
boerewors
boerie
boomslang
burrito
bratwurst
cannon
choad
chopper
club
cock
cum shooter
custard launcher
dagger
dick
dickie
ding dong
dog head
dolphin
dong
donger
dork
dragon
drill bit
eggroll
enchilada
fang
fence post
ferret
fire hose
flagpole
frank (& beans)
fuck rod
groin ferret
heat-seeking missile
hose
hog
jackhammer
Jimmy
John
Johnson
John Thomas
joystick
kickstand
knob
krull the warrior king
leaky hose
lingam
little Bob
little Elvis
little guy
lizard (as in "drain the...")
longfellow
Long John
love muscle
luigi
major general
manhood
meat cigar
meat injection
meat popsicle
meat stick
member
meneer
middle stump
mini me
monkey
mushroom head
mutton
noodle
old boy
old fellow
old man
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake (Australia, UK)
one-eyed monster
one-eyed yogurt slinger
pecker
peel
peepee (children's term)
percy
peter
phallus
piece
piston
plug
pole
pork sword
prick
princess sophia
private eye
private part
pump-action shotgun
purple-helmeted warrior
purple-headed yogurt flinger
rocket
rod
rod of pleasure
roundhead
sausage
sceptre
schlong
schmuck, shmuck (Yiddish)
schwanz
schwarz
sergeant major
serpent
shaft
short arm
skin flute
snake
soldier
sperminator
springroll
stick
sword
tadger
tallywhacker
tassle
third leg
thumper
thunderbird
toadstool
todger
tonk
tool
trouser snake
tubesteak
twig (& berries)
vein
wang
wang doodle
weasel
wedding tackle
weeny
weiner
wick
willy (children's term)
winky
wing dang doodle
yingyang
yogurt gun

by George McBob September 7, 2009