George McBob's definitions
Mongrel.
A dog with no discernible breed characteristics. Pavement specials make much better pets that pussy-ass pedigree dogs.
A dog with no discernible breed characteristics. Pavement specials make much better pets that pussy-ass pedigree dogs.
by George McBob April 29, 2009
Get the pavement specialmug. 
Johannesburg. Coolest city in the world.
It is the most dangerous city outside of a war zone. It has the friendliest people in the world. It can both take away and restore your faith in humanity on the same day.
The Northern Suburbs are so green that they're one of the largest artificial forests in the world (just drive north on the M1 past the St.Andrews street bridge, and all you see is trees to the horizon, with a few buildings sticking out at Sandton, Rosebank and Randburg).
In Joburg the traffic cops take cheques and the minibus taxis and nightclub bouncers are run by the mafia.
Beggars at the traffic lights earn more than doctors and roadside hawkers actually go onto the highway in rush hour. The streets change names 3 times a year and the baggage handlers at the airport are more likely to open your bag and replace your digital camera with a kilo of cocaine than not.
Every second street is closed for roadworks and the Gautrain (due to be completed in 2011, but will probably only be ready in 2014) will be Africa's first subway.
A major landmark is a huge soccer-ball shaped balloon tethered to the ground, with a restaurant on it, right next to a shopping centre that looks like a medieval Italian town.
Even your guard dogs, security guards and the police are not safe from the criminals, and Kyalami is the biggest equestrian suburb in the world.
Edenvale is Chinese, Bruma is Lebanese, Cyrildene is Jewish, Kempton Park is Russian, Hillbrow is Nigerian.
There are more goldmines than in any other city on Earth, and the central train station is the world's largest inland container terminal.
Melville, Rivonia, Fourways and Parkhurst are THE places go at night, but only if you don't mind waking up naked in a dumpster with a silly hat and a new tattoo.
All the cellphone towers are disguised as trees, but the tallest building in the city is a radio tower with a billboard and office on it.
It a first-world city in a third-world continent, and despite everything the corrupt, bigoted thieving lying brain-dead government can do to turn South Africa into a banana republic African shithole, Joburg just keeps growing and growing.
It is the most dangerous city outside of a war zone. It has the friendliest people in the world. It can both take away and restore your faith in humanity on the same day.
The Northern Suburbs are so green that they're one of the largest artificial forests in the world (just drive north on the M1 past the St.Andrews street bridge, and all you see is trees to the horizon, with a few buildings sticking out at Sandton, Rosebank and Randburg).
In Joburg the traffic cops take cheques and the minibus taxis and nightclub bouncers are run by the mafia.
Beggars at the traffic lights earn more than doctors and roadside hawkers actually go onto the highway in rush hour. The streets change names 3 times a year and the baggage handlers at the airport are more likely to open your bag and replace your digital camera with a kilo of cocaine than not.
Every second street is closed for roadworks and the Gautrain (due to be completed in 2011, but will probably only be ready in 2014) will be Africa's first subway.
A major landmark is a huge soccer-ball shaped balloon tethered to the ground, with a restaurant on it, right next to a shopping centre that looks like a medieval Italian town.
Even your guard dogs, security guards and the police are not safe from the criminals, and Kyalami is the biggest equestrian suburb in the world.
Edenvale is Chinese, Bruma is Lebanese, Cyrildene is Jewish, Kempton Park is Russian, Hillbrow is Nigerian.
There are more goldmines than in any other city on Earth, and the central train station is the world's largest inland container terminal.
Melville, Rivonia, Fourways and Parkhurst are THE places go at night, but only if you don't mind waking up naked in a dumpster with a silly hat and a new tattoo.
All the cellphone towers are disguised as trees, but the tallest building in the city is a radio tower with a billboard and office on it.
It a first-world city in a third-world continent, and despite everything the corrupt, bigoted thieving lying brain-dead government can do to turn South Africa into a banana republic African shithole, Joburg just keeps growing and growing.
by George McBob May 18, 2009
Get the Joburgmug. by George McBob May 19, 2009
Get the LaMinxettemug. The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"
by George McBob May 21, 2009
Get the Eskommug. The Ten Commandments:
Thou shalt have no other gods before me
Thou shalt not make for yourself an idol
Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of your God
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
Thou shalt honor your father and mother
Thou shalt not murder
Thou shalt not commit adultery
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shalt not covet
The Eleventh Commandment (the most important one)
Thou shalt not get caught.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me
Thou shalt not make for yourself an idol
Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of your God
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
Thou shalt honor your father and mother
Thou shalt not murder
Thou shalt not commit adultery
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shalt not covet
The Eleventh Commandment (the most important one)
Thou shalt not get caught.
by George McBob August 31, 2009
Get the Eleventh Commandmentmug. A small selection of the synonyms for "penis":
adder
baby-maker
banana
bazooka
bell-end
bell on a pole
big boy
bishop
beef
beef whistle
boerewors
boerie
boomslang
burrito
bratwurst
cannon
choad
chopper
club
cock
cum shooter
custard launcher
dagger
dick
dickie
ding dong
dog head
dolphin
dong
donger
dork
dragon
drill bit
eggroll
enchilada
fang
fence post
ferret
fire hose
flagpole
frank (& beans)
fuck rod
groin ferret
heat-seeking missile
hose
hog
jackhammer
Jimmy
John
Johnson
John Thomas
joystick
kickstand
knob
krull the warrior king
leaky hose
lingam
little Bob
little Elvis
little guy
lizard (as in "drain the...")
longfellow
Long John
love muscle
luigi
major general
manhood
meat cigar
meat injection
meat popsicle
meat stick
member
meneer
middle stump
mini me
monkey
mushroom head
mutton
noodle
old boy
old fellow
old man
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake (Australia, UK)
one-eyed monster
one-eyed yogurt slinger
pecker
peel
peepee (children's term)
percy
peter
phallus
piece
piston
plug
pole
pork sword
prick
princess sophia
private eye
private part
pump-action shotgun
purple-helmeted warrior
purple-headed yogurt flinger
rocket
rod
rod of pleasure
roundhead
sausage
sceptre
schlong
schmuck, shmuck (Yiddish)
schwanz
schwarz
sergeant major
serpent
shaft
short arm
skin flute
snake
soldier
sperminator
springroll
stick
sword
tadger
tallywhacker
tassle
third leg
thumper
thunderbird
toadstool
todger
tonk
tool
trouser snake
tubesteak
twig (& berries)
vein
wang
wang doodle
weasel
wedding tackle
weeny
weiner
wick
willy (children's term)
winky
wing dang doodle
yingyang
yogurt gun
adder
baby-maker
banana
bazooka
bell-end
bell on a pole
big boy
bishop
beef
beef whistle
boerewors
boerie
boomslang
burrito
bratwurst
cannon
choad
chopper
club
cock
cum shooter
custard launcher
dagger
dick
dickie
ding dong
dog head
dolphin
dong
donger
dork
dragon
drill bit
eggroll
enchilada
fang
fence post
ferret
fire hose
flagpole
frank (& beans)
fuck rod
groin ferret
heat-seeking missile
hose
hog
jackhammer
Jimmy
John
Johnson
John Thomas
joystick
kickstand
knob
krull the warrior king
leaky hose
lingam
little Bob
little Elvis
little guy
lizard (as in "drain the...")
longfellow
Long John
love muscle
luigi
major general
manhood
meat cigar
meat injection
meat popsicle
meat stick
member
meneer
middle stump
mini me
monkey
mushroom head
mutton
noodle
old boy
old fellow
old man
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake (Australia, UK)
one-eyed monster
one-eyed yogurt slinger
pecker
peel
peepee (children's term)
percy
peter
phallus
piece
piston
plug
pole
pork sword
prick
princess sophia
private eye
private part
pump-action shotgun
purple-helmeted warrior
purple-headed yogurt flinger
rocket
rod
rod of pleasure
roundhead
sausage
sceptre
schlong
schmuck, shmuck (Yiddish)
schwanz
schwarz
sergeant major
serpent
shaft
short arm
skin flute
snake
soldier
sperminator
springroll
stick
sword
tadger
tallywhacker
tassle
third leg
thumper
thunderbird
toadstool
todger
tonk
tool
trouser snake
tubesteak
twig (& berries)
vein
wang
wang doodle
weasel
wedding tackle
weeny
weiner
wick
willy (children's term)
winky
wing dang doodle
yingyang
yogurt gun
by George McBob September 7, 2009
Get the penismug.