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The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"
by George McBob May 21, 2009
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Get the cafcebo effect mug.A typing style used by complete noobs.
Their finger circles above the keyboard like a vulture over the hot, dry savannah as they search for the right key.
Their finger circles above the keyboard like a vulture over the hot, dry savannah as they search for the right key.
by George McBob September 30, 2009
Get the vulture typing mug.A sleazy wedding chapel, of the kind made famous in Las Vegas.
At a McChapel, you can hire a wedding dress for an hour and get married by an Elvis impersonator. Ushers often expect tips.
At a McChapel, you can hire a wedding dress for an hour and get married by an Elvis impersonator. Ushers often expect tips.
by George McBob April 29, 2009
Get the McChapel mug.Johannesburg. Coolest city in the world.
It is the most dangerous city outside of a war zone. It has the friendliest people in the world. It can both take away and restore your faith in humanity on the same day.
The Northern Suburbs are so green that they're one of the largest artificial forests in the world (just drive north on the M1 past the St.Andrews street bridge, and all you see is trees to the horizon, with a few buildings sticking out at Sandton, Rosebank and Randburg).
In Joburg the traffic cops take cheques and the minibus taxis and nightclub bouncers are run by the mafia.
Beggars at the traffic lights earn more than doctors and roadside hawkers actually go onto the highway in rush hour. The streets change names 3 times a year and the baggage handlers at the airport are more likely to open your bag and replace your digital camera with a kilo of cocaine than not.
Every second street is closed for roadworks and the Gautrain (due to be completed in 2011, but will probably only be ready in 2014) will be Africa's first subway.
A major landmark is a huge soccer-ball shaped balloon tethered to the ground, with a restaurant on it, right next to a shopping centre that looks like a medieval Italian town.
Even your guard dogs, security guards and the police are not safe from the criminals, and Kyalami is the biggest equestrian suburb in the world.
Edenvale is Chinese, Bruma is Lebanese, Cyrildene is Jewish, Kempton Park is Russian, Hillbrow is Nigerian.
There are more goldmines than in any other city on Earth, and the central train station is the world's largest inland container terminal.
Melville, Rivonia, Fourways and Parkhurst are THE places go at night, but only if you don't mind waking up naked in a dumpster with a silly hat and a new tattoo.
All the cellphone towers are disguised as trees, but the tallest building in the city is a radio tower with a billboard and office on it.
It a first-world city in a third-world continent, and despite everything the corrupt, bigoted thieving lying brain-dead government can do to turn South Africa into a banana republic African shithole, Joburg just keeps growing and growing.
It is the most dangerous city outside of a war zone. It has the friendliest people in the world. It can both take away and restore your faith in humanity on the same day.
The Northern Suburbs are so green that they're one of the largest artificial forests in the world (just drive north on the M1 past the St.Andrews street bridge, and all you see is trees to the horizon, with a few buildings sticking out at Sandton, Rosebank and Randburg).
In Joburg the traffic cops take cheques and the minibus taxis and nightclub bouncers are run by the mafia.
Beggars at the traffic lights earn more than doctors and roadside hawkers actually go onto the highway in rush hour. The streets change names 3 times a year and the baggage handlers at the airport are more likely to open your bag and replace your digital camera with a kilo of cocaine than not.
Every second street is closed for roadworks and the Gautrain (due to be completed in 2011, but will probably only be ready in 2014) will be Africa's first subway.
A major landmark is a huge soccer-ball shaped balloon tethered to the ground, with a restaurant on it, right next to a shopping centre that looks like a medieval Italian town.
Even your guard dogs, security guards and the police are not safe from the criminals, and Kyalami is the biggest equestrian suburb in the world.
Edenvale is Chinese, Bruma is Lebanese, Cyrildene is Jewish, Kempton Park is Russian, Hillbrow is Nigerian.
There are more goldmines than in any other city on Earth, and the central train station is the world's largest inland container terminal.
Melville, Rivonia, Fourways and Parkhurst are THE places go at night, but only if you don't mind waking up naked in a dumpster with a silly hat and a new tattoo.
All the cellphone towers are disguised as trees, but the tallest building in the city is a radio tower with a billboard and office on it.
It a first-world city in a third-world continent, and despite everything the corrupt, bigoted thieving lying brain-dead government can do to turn South Africa into a banana republic African shithole, Joburg just keeps growing and growing.
by George McBob May 18, 2009
Get the Joburg mug.A dish that originated in Durban, but can now be bought all across South Africa. It consists of a half or quarter loaf of bread hollowed out and filled with curry.
They came about because, under apartheid laws, Indian restaurant owners were not allowed to seat black customers, and could only sell them take-aways. They invented bunny chows so they could still sell them a proper serving of curry.
The origin of the word "bunny chow" is unknown.
They came about because, under apartheid laws, Indian restaurant owners were not allowed to seat black customers, and could only sell them take-aways. They invented bunny chows so they could still sell them a proper serving of curry.
The origin of the word "bunny chow" is unknown.
by George McBob September 14, 2009
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