FunkyBumpkin's definitions

spackle

verb: to spray with cum, or to smear cum over your partner's skin, crease, or crack after ejaculating.

After pounding her in the ass, he pulled out and spackled her crack.

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005

gynophobe

1) one who is afraid of women. (this may mutate into outright misogyny if left untreated. An excellent remedy is for a considerate, reasonably sexy, sexually enthusiastic woman to fuck the gynophobe's brains out.)
2) a repressed woman afraid of her own vulva and/or sexuality.
3) an otherwise straight man who is too much of a pussy to perform cunnilingus.

See also: nice guy, prude, double standard, Republican, gangsta.

1) That Joe guy seems pretty nice, but he needs to get laid for all our sakes, he is such a gynophobe!
2) The gynophobes were out in force at the Ladies Bible Study Group.
3) Their sex-life progressing nicely, Alex & Tina bought some Tangerines & Cream lube at the "toy store" to slather on her yoni and get him past his inner gynophobe as he lapped it up that night.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

Man DeLay

A male organ de-sensitizer that is the only way that piece of shit Tom DeLay can keep from jizzing himself anytime he contemplates his pact with Satan.

See also: Tom DeLay

In exchange for a soul, Tom DeLay chose a corrupt power grab and a case of "Man DeLay" to subdue his raging hard-on for Terri Schiavo, the only "living" woman who didn't threaten his fragile sense of masculinity with things like thought, speech, or any signs of being a human being rather than a baby-making factory with no right even to accurate information about contraception, let alone control over her own body and its reproductive organs.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

swattage

adj.: excellent.
The most exteme form of or epitome of what is being described in a favorable, enthusiastic manner. See also: killer, bomb, phat, tight, the sh!t, etc.

Dude, did you see that f*ckin' sword fight at the end of Kill Bill? That was SWATTAGE!

by FunkyBumpkin April 28, 2005

dirt billy

Much like a hillbilly, but even lower on the scale, since here in Michigan, they don't even have the benefit of a hill's potential scenic value, since the land is so damn flat. These ass-backward bumblefucks are just out the middle of big flat nowhere with nothing but dirt. Characterized by decaying, halfway or completely caved-in barns, various cars or trucks on blocks with weeds growing up through them, "yards" cluttered and basically unmowable from so much junk, extreme ignorance, as well as paranoia in thinking that anybody is actually going to steal or vandalize their broken old crap.

After we went 4-wheeling down his fence-row (not even in the fields), to get to the riding trails, the dirtbilly neighbor came out with his shotgun and threatened to shoot us for "messin with his poperty".

by FunkyBumpkin May 25, 2005

North Face

1) A well-known brand of very high quality outdoor gear, especially jackets, backpacks, and tents.

2) A brand-name that has regrettably been appropriated by thugs and yuppies alike as a way of either projecting an image of wealth or interest in rugged activities and the great outdoors.

I was talking to this guy at the trailhead, and noticed that even though his North Face pack had to be a good 15-20 years old and faded from the sun, it wasn't ripped and all the seams were still solid! I hope my Gore-tex jacket lasts that long.

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

extreme sports

Highly over-publicized activities that at least half the time are undertaken or discussed by otherwise boring people in a desperate attempt to seem interesting. Posers are extraordinarily abundant, especially inThe Heartland. After all, how the hell does some kid in Nebraska go surfing, or rock-climbing in Iowa?

The purchased experiences of white-water rafting and bungee jumping gave Ned a sense that he was not a vanilla, SUV-driving corporate automaton, but a wild and crazy alpha-male living his life on the edge!

by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005