Definitions by FunkyBumpkin

dirt billy 

Much like a hillbilly, but even lower on the scale, since here in Michigan, they don't even have the benefit of a hill's potential scenic value, since the land is so damn flat. These ass-backward bumblefucks are just out the middle of big flat nowhere with nothing but dirt. Characterized by decaying, halfway or completely caved-in barns, various cars or trucks on blocks with weeds growing up through them, "yards" cluttered and basically unmowable from so much junk, extreme ignorance, as well as paranoia in thinking that anybody is actually going to steal or vandalize their broken old crap.

After we went 4-wheeling down his fence-row (not even in the fields), to get to the riding trails, the dirtbilly neighbor came out with his shotgun and threatened to shoot us for "messin with his poperty".

dirt billy by FunkyBumpkin May 25, 2005

Moop 

from "Seinfeld", the "Moops" were the nation that conquered Spain & gave it the twinge of Islamic architecture seen to this day, according to the card George was reading from when playing Trivial Pursuit against the "Bubble Boy". Bubble Boy insisted, quite rightly, of course, that the answer was "Moors", but George being the prick that he was, wouldn't give him credit for the answer. The townspeople later drove out the fiendish George & Jerry for their mistreatment of the Bubble Boy.

Bubble Boy: It was the Moors! The MOORS!

George: No, I'm sorry, it was the Moops. The card clearly says, "Moops".

Moop by FunkyBumpkin May 2, 2005

baked potato 

A couch potato who is also extremely stoned. (see also baked)

Dude, let's go get something to eat!You've been just staring at the TV all night with that bong in your hand, you baked potato!

baked potato by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

alpha-male 

1) the dominant member of a pack of wolves.
2) any person with a dominating personality, causing the assertion of or struggle for leadership in almost any situation.

While Dubya was busily pretending to be an alpha-male whilst getting coked up and going AWOL from his Air National Guard unit during Vietnam, John Kerry was matter-of-factly leading his swiftboat successfully through enemy fire in true alpha-male form.

alpha-male by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

extreme sports 

Highly over-publicized activities that at least half the time are undertaken or discussed by otherwise boring people in a desperate attempt to seem interesting. Posers are extraordinarily abundant, especially inThe Heartland. After all, how the hell does some kid in Nebraska go surfing, or rock-climbing in Iowa?

The purchased experiences of white-water rafting and bungee jumping gave Ned a sense that he was not a vanilla, SUV-driving corporate automaton, but a wild and crazy alpha-male living his life on the edge!

extreme sports by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

North Face 

1) A well-known brand of very high quality outdoor gear, especially jackets, backpacks, and tents.

2) A brand-name that has regrettably been appropriated by thugs and yuppies alike as a way of either projecting an image of wealth or interest in rugged activities and the great outdoors.

I was talking to this guy at the trailhead, and noticed that even though his North Face pack had to be a good 15-20 years old and faded from the sun, it wasn't ripped and all the seams were still solid! I hope my Gore-tex jacket lasts that long.

North Face by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005

nice guy 

A term used by a female for a male she does not find sexually interesting.

See also: friend or just a friend

One of life's great mysteries is how women can simultaneously complain about inconsiderate man-whores and the impossibility of finding a "nice guy", while sitting across from a hetero male friend who also has similar male friends that she has met but declined to date.

nice guy by FunkyBumpkin April 29, 2005