Frank Klaune's definitions

in the tank

Broken, hopeless, ruined. Synonyms: screwed up or fucked up.

Damn! Frank was going to have a big outdoor barbecue this weekend but when the forecast called for rain, he knew his plans were in the tank.

Frank started his car, depressed the accelerator to the floor and shifted back and forth between "R" and "D". Now his transmission is in the tank.

by Frank Klaune April 29, 2005

fiberal

A wise and witty observation relating to how today's liberal interacts in the modern world. It is the obvious mix of "fib" (as in lie / liar and deceit) and "iberal" (as in "liberal"- i.e. ignorant, unrealistic socialist who wants big government to solve all problems at the expense of liberty). An accurate portrayal of today's left wing kooks who use revisionist history, rhetoric, character assasination and a complicit media to further their own skewed agenda which flies in the face of history, reason and common sense.

"I turned on the news tonight but couldn't stand the biased trash the fiberals were dishing up, so we played Scrabble instead."

by Frank Klaune July 9, 2004

finger wave

Term describing the anal prostate check portion of the annual physical examination done on older men. The "finger wave" is done by the gloved hand of the examining physician. One only hopes that while the "finger wave" is being done you don't feel both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders at the same time or you're in trouble.

Old man Klaune went to the doctor and got a finger wave.

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

Bees

A joint (or spliff) or two of marijuana.

Chris has bees, and bees make you buzz. He's down at the quarry doing bees.

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005

quim and tonic

Humorous mismangulation of "gin and tonic". The term indicates a high degree of drunkenness followed by sex with a woman. It seems to specifically imply a man who is highly drunk performing oral sex on a woman. The tonic may, or may not be drank while performing the oral sex.

Damn, I wondered where Frank went at the party, so I walked out to the porch. He was so damn drunk out there with some chick on the porch swing. She was moaning out loud as he was getting some quim and tonic.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

K-Mart Liturgy

You get up on a Sunday morning, take a shower, dress, then head out of the house. Your family is very sure that you are a good boy, heading out to go to church. Instead of attending church services, however, you go to K-Mart and spend just the appropriate amount of time there browsing merchandise so upon your return, your ruse is very convincing.

Frank's parents think he is such a good boy but we know the truth. He did a K-Mart Liturgy and bought condoms.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

fuck her headlights out

Term used to describe vigorous sex with a some hot bitch. Usually used in a hypothetical situation- bar talk.

Frank was all boozed up when he gestured to that bitch in the corner and said to me, "hey... how would you like to fuck her headlights out." Frank is such a moron.

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006