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Frank Klaune's definitions

transatlantic cable

Humorous reference to shitting in the lavatory on an airplane which is en-route across the Atlantic ocean.
About two hours after leaving JFK airport, Frank got out of his seat and shitted in the lav. He said he was going to lay some transatlantic cable.
by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005
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double barreled slingshot

Damn, Frank shagged some fat chick from the party. He almost got away with it, but his folks found her double barreled slingshot under the couch.
by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005
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I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich

Perhaps the most famous and most recognized Tomism (see "Tomism"), the term is used as a general insult. Tom K. would speak of another person as having "the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich". It is believed that Tom did not originate the phrase, however. In recent times, the phrase has been combined with "without the jelly" on the end- supposedly to indicate that a peanut butter sandwich WITH jelly has somehow a measurably higher I.Q. Go figure.
"Frank is such an idiot. He's got the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich."
by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004
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jimhat

"Don't go nowhere without 'cha jimhat. Gotta be smarta' than that."
by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004
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frilly dilly

The unfortunate result of having a circumcision done with pinking shears.
There's Frank. His doctor was some sort of drunken dumbass when he was born and now he has a frilly dilly.
by Frank Klaune January 2, 2005
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gone to pot

An item which is broken, defective or substandard. Two explainations have been historically applied. The first is that in olden times when food was scarce, people would leave the bones, fat and undesireable portions behind after eating their meal. These second-rate items would be used for soup the next day, so as such, the poor-quality leftovers would "go to pot". The second (and more plausible) explaination is that in the days of the industrial revolution and early mass-production, assembly workers would occasionally find a defective or out-of-tolerance part which was not suitable for use. This part would be sent back to the smelting room to be melted down and re-cast a second time. Since the smelting was done in a giant pot, these defective parts had "gone to pot". In either case, the phrase gained popular use by the American homeowner who would occasionally wear out an item which would fail- often at an inconvenient time.
Frank didn't want to take his car in for routine maintenance. I wasn't surprised when his vacation was ruined after the car went to pot last summer.
by Frank Klaune May 13, 2005
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squirt the dirt

The act of relieving one's self (urinating) outside. Typically the term is used by truck drivers and travelers who have driven many miles (without a truck stop or rest area) and- needing to piss, they pull over to a side road to "squirt the dirt".
Damn, Frank bought that big-ass 200 ounce bladder buster at the truck stop and the next thing you know, we have to pull over to squirt the dirt.
by Frank Klaune February 2, 2005
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