Frank Klaune's definitions
This phrase, related in part to the "blat" (see "blat"), describes the logical aftermath of drinking too much Blatz beer. If one drinks far too much Blatz, the next morning's activities are dominated by the "Blatz splatz" in which bodily fluids are emitted from various orifices in a semi-involuntary spasm. This term is obviously only used in those areas of the country where "Blatz" beer is found. For additional information see "hershey squirts" and "the shits".
Man, Frank brought a few cases of Blatz to the stag party. Damn, the next day let me tell you, I had the Blatz splatz big time!
by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004
Get the Blatz splatzmug. A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.
by Frank Klaune April 25, 2005
Get the barneymug. An irritated or inflamed anal area. "The chappies" is a condition somewhat like hemorrhoids but on a more temporary basis. Chappies are usually caused by excessive ass wiping due to having the shits or by excessive moist farts causing a sore, irritated anal region.
"Damn, Frank's food was so greasy I had the shits all day. Now I've got the chappies so bad I can hardly sit down!"
by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004
Get the chappiesmug. Sucessful completion of the sex act, but only after outrageously exhaustive efforts. Usually used to describe a rather un-satisfying sexual experience which one has been working very hard at achieving and, upon completion, does not think it was worth it.
"Lisa was playing hard to get. I had to take her out six times and spend a fortune on her to get laid, and then all she did was lay there and complain the wholetime. What a choregasm!"
by Frank Klaune November 22, 2003
Get the choregasmmug. Igniting one's own fart. It really does work. The typical "blue streak" is done with the farter sitting on the floor, legs in the air, and holding a bic lighter to the anus while farting violently. It is highly recommended that some sort of clothing be worn when this is done- not only to keep y ou from scorching your anus but also to keep you from shitting all over your friend's lighter.
by Frank Klaune January 27, 2005
Get the blue streakmug. How do you explain it? When playing golf, each of the guys tees off, plays the fairway and finishes with a final putt. The scorekeeper then tallies everyone's score for that hole. The person with the highest (worst) score for that hole must play the entire next hole with their penis protruding from their pants. Thus, the loser of that hole is "the donger".
by Frank Klaune May 28, 2004
Get the dongermug. A euphemism for merconium. Immediately after a baby is born, the first few shits he makes is full of merconium which is nearly like messy, nasty, sticky, gooey tar. Thus, "silly putty".
by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005
Get the silly puttymug.