Frank Klaune's definitions

butt rust

The off-brown discoloration inside the undershorts. Butt rust, also known as "skid mark" is usually the result of high pressure farting and / or lack of sufficient wiping of the anus.

"Damn, Frank sure has butt rust on his undies here."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

bouquet of penises

A contemptable situation. Any despised turn of events. The phrase is used in a sarcastic tone and is intended as a portrayal of one's disgust for a given situation.

The vacation sucked. The RV broke down, the dog shit in the tent twice, the weather was hot, then rainy, and we were out of beer. Man, that trip was about as fun as a bouquet of penises.

by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004

clipped dick

1) A male with a circumcised schlong (putz).

2) The actual dong itself with it's "permanent haircut".

3) By extension, the term has also been used to describe entire groups of people who practice circumcision for religious, cultural or other reasons. "Clipped dick" has been noticeably applied as slang for Jewish people.

There goes Frank. He's got a clipped dick.

There goes Frank. He's a clipped dick.

by Frank Klaune January 2, 2005

Cleveland Rewind

An extremely sick, disgusting joke which is occasionally done in frat houses, public toilets or the home of your enemy. The "Cleveland Rewind" consists of un-hinging a toilet paper roll from it's holder, pull out a considerable portion of the paper, and very carefully wipe one's ass on the portion in the middle, then "rewinding " the roll back, and replacing it into the dispenser. Thus, a subsequent patron gets shit on their fingers. The "Cleveland Rewind" supposedly gets its name from the equally disgusting "Cleveland Steamer" term.

Man, some asshole did a Cleveland Rewind on me and I got a handful when I was trying to wipe!

by Frank Klaune November 20, 2004

urinal protocol

The unwritten, unmentioned male code of conduct strictly governing behaviour in a public restroom.

Urinal protocol dicktates (pardon the pun) that every male must make due effort to accommodate a buffer urinal if possible. In situations when a buffer urinal is not possible, the pissor must engage in mindless, inane, random conversation with his fellow piss-ees- a phenomenon known as urinal talk. The highest rule of urinal protocol governs eye contact. Eyes must remain straight ahead in a zombie-like stare, and finish with only a brief glance downward (at your putz) during the final shake. While a brief glance at the face of a fellow piss-ee is an acceptable part of urinal talk, a 30 second jaw-agape stare at his dong is un-cool. Similarly, while placing a hand on the wall above the urinal to steady one's self is acceptable (especially when drunk), placing one's hand on another's sholder is not too cool. Urinal talk must never lead to the pissor urinating on the shoes of the piss-ee.

Urinal protocol evolved as a means to deal with urinal anxiety (also referred to as being pee shy) and it's corresponding eccentric behaviour. Restroom owners may erect (pardon the pun) a shame shield as a method of dealing with urinal anxiety and encourage compliance with the time-tested "urinal protocol".

Damn, Frank is such an idiot. He was standing at the trough staring at the black guy's dick.

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich

Perhaps the most famous and most recognized Tomism (see "Tomism"), the term is used as a general insult. Tom K. would speak of another person as having "the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich". It is believed that Tom did not originate the phrase, however. In recent times, the phrase has been combined with "without the jelly" on the end- supposedly to indicate that a peanut butter sandwich WITH jelly has somehow a measurably higher I.Q. Go figure.

"Frank is such an idiot. He's got the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich."

by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004

jimhat

Street slang for "condom".

"Don't go nowhere without 'cha jimhat. Gotta be smarta' than that."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004