Frank Klaune's definitions

funnel cake

To use your dong as the \"funnel\", your baby gravy as the \"cake batter\" and some hot chick\'s stomach area (near her belly button) as the frier. If you\'ve ever watched or made a funnel cake, it is now abundantly clear.

Damn! Frank was so worried about knocking up his girlfriend he pulled out and made a funnel cake!

by Frank Klaune April 26, 2005

fucknob

1) A contemptible person of low intelligence.
2) A term of endearment for a person who has just done you wrong.
3) Relating a contemptible person to a sexual device in such a way as to equate such low intelligence with an inanimate object of gratification (i.e. a head with no brains).

"Oh you fucknob! You just ran into my car!"

"That Frank... he's one colossal fucknob!"

by Frank Klaune November 5, 2003

nut rot

Term pertaining to the deleterious effect of the sweat from your nut sack upon surrounding tissue and material. Nut rot causes your underwear to prematurely fail in the crotch area immediately beside where your sack rides. Nut rot becomes visible as a tan or brown stain in the area where your crotch is on the inside of the underwear. Next, the seam and the stretchy elastic gives way and eventually the entire crotch area of the underwear gives out and your nuts hang out from beneath your underwear in the area where the underwear material used to be. Nut rot also affects the skin of the crotch in cases where a person uses poor hygiene and / or lack of bathing or showering. See crotch rot.

Damn, when Frank was on the campout, his nards hung out of his skivvies. He must have major nut rot in his tighty whities.

by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005

in the hurt bag

To be in a great deal of pain.

Damn, when Frank was drunk, he slipped on the ice and hit his noggin on the cement. He was in the hurt bag for some time after that.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

urban beautification

An oxymoron. Very simply stated.

Only a 800,000,000 megaton MIRV can bring about "urban beautification."

by Frank Klaune September 1, 2005

cut to the fuck

Frat house phrase popularized by "The Degenerates" of 4th East ("Beast") Hall. "Cut to the fuck" was the battle cry used during the pathetic interludes and lame attempts at plot development inserted between sex scenes of a porn movie.

After the first couple finished they had a scene where John was talking to his friend in a coffee shop about his relationship with Amy and if his wife would mind. That crap in porn movies is so lame. CUT TO THE FUCK!

by Frank Klaune March 20, 2004

drug monster

Another common Tomism with humorous implications, "drug monster" refers to a person whose personality is higly changeable through use of drugs. It also refers to one who uses a large quantity of drugs and implies a dependence on such drugs.

Frank took a speedball, two hits off the bong, an LSD cube and a 'lude. Man, he is one drug monster!

by Frank Klaune February 13, 2005