Frank Klaune's definitions

urinal anxiety

An affliction of males characterized by unusual behaviours in the men's room. Urinal anxiety is manifest in the actions of a man who walks into the men's room and heads directly toward the urinals, but -upon seeing another man already standing at a nearby urinal- immediately changes course for the stalls. Urinal anxiety afflicts a substantial number of males who have a phobia about pissing in a location where another male might notice their schlong (as if other males would have an interest in someone else's schlong...). The most extreme form of urinal anxiety is usually seen in locations using the old "trough" urinals often placed in ball park restrooms. The afflicted male approaches the other happy, piss-spattering companions, pulls his dick out, and... and... and... (after a long delay) zips his dick back up, unable to urinate, and shame-facedly departs the restroom unsatisfied.

Damn, Frank never uses the urinals. The other day he went into the women's room at the ball park to avoid the trough. I think he's gripped by urinal anxiety.

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

skunk piss

Any low quality, generic, substandard, crappy tasting, lousy beer or booze.

Frank threw a party last weekend. It was a good time except for the skunk piss the bartender was serving. I got all pissed up at the party and got even with him. First I did an upper deck in his john, then I did a Cleveland Rewind and on my way out, I did a technicolor yawn on his living room floor. Frank is such an idiot!

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

blastus

Aside from being the name of a biblical character, "blastus" is another term designating a type of fart. A very large amount of intestinal gas is expelled at considerable force. As the flattus is violently expelled through the anus, the high amplitude oscillation of the sphincter results in a great, explosive, low tone of frightful volume. The term may also be applied as a proper noun as necessary.

Grotee let loose (with a "blastus") and it shook the walls. That's why they call him Blastus.

by Frank Klaune October 18, 2004

chucklefuck

1) A bumbling, stupid, inept person.
2) A confusing mess; a conundrum; any chaotic situation
3) A person of low intelligence who gets himself into a comical quandary.

"Frank just took off for the store and forgot his wallet again. What a chucklefuck!"

"When the storm hit in the middle of the parade, the whole festival became one big chucklefuck."

"That chucklefuck Frank got drunk and drank from that shampoo bottle."

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

mazupas

My favorite term for the female breasts, also known as chesticles, boobies, cans, jugs, headlights, titties and rack.

"Damn, check out the mazupas on our waitress tonight!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

silly putty

A euphemism for merconium. Immediately after a baby is born, the first few shits he makes is full of merconium which is nearly like messy, nasty, sticky, gooey tar. Thus, "silly putty".

When Frank opened the diaper, silly putty leaked out on his shirt. Yuck!

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

scrambled egg

Derogatory term used to describe a person of diminished mental capacity- formerly known as "retarded".

Damn, Frank is so impatient. He got mad when his McDonald's order got screwed up and yelled at the scrambled egg who took his order.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005