Frank Klaune's definitions

islamic Haircut

Humorous euphemism used to explain the (how shall we say this nicely...) ritualistic non-surgical dislocation of the head from the torso. It's becoming a useful term when attempting to relate to the antics of certain deranged individuals in the mideast who are mired in 9th century mentality.

(person 1)"Did you hear about those hostages in Iraq? Can you believe they..."

(person 2 interrupts) "..yeah I heard... they got the islamic Haircut."

(person 1 shaking head in disbelief)"I thought that was the great peaceful religion...."

by Frank Klaune July 8, 2006

fuck her headlights out

Term used to describe vigorous sex with a some hot bitch. Usually used in a hypothetical situation- bar talk.

Frank was all boozed up when he gestured to that bitch in the corner and said to me, "hey... how would you like to fuck her headlights out." Frank is such a moron.

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

skunk piss

Any low quality, generic, substandard, crappy tasting, lousy beer or booze.

Frank threw a party last weekend. It was a good time except for the skunk piss the bartender was serving. I got all pissed up at the party and got even with him. First I did an upper deck in his john, then I did a Cleveland Rewind and on my way out, I did a technicolor yawn on his living room floor. Frank is such an idiot!

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

deliver street pizza

Another stupid term designating vomit, emesis, technicolor yawn, or barfing.

Damn, Frank got so fucked up the other night he had to deliver street pizza on his girlfriend's bird bath. Now the birds don't come by anymore. Frank is such an imbecile!

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

spreading joy

The phrase refers to the process of letting a massive amount of fart gas out in a carefully metered way- usually by farting silently while walking. In this manner, a disasterously huge amount of fart may be discretely dispensed over a larger geographical area. When faced with the prospect of needing to fart in a socially awkward situation, a person often resorts to initially letting a test fart. If the test fart indicates a vile, deadly amount of gas, the person may opt to walk (for example) from the punch bowl across the dance floor, and over to the bar- all the while silently farting the whole way. People at the punch bowl will begin vomiting, the dance floor will clear and the bar area patrons may begin to pass out. Meanwhile, the farter may actually be dozens of feet away, thus escaping blame. In such a way, the farter is said to be "spreading joy."

Damn, Frank is such an idiot. He farted over by the band and kept walking. He's spreading joy all over the wedding reception. How disgusting!

by Frank Klaune September 1, 2005

urban beautification

An oxymoron. Very simply stated.

Only a 800,000,000 megaton MIRV can bring about "urban beautification."

by Frank Klaune September 1, 2005

transatlantic cable

Humorous reference to shitting in the lavatory on an airplane which is en-route across the Atlantic ocean.

About two hours after leaving JFK airport, Frank got out of his seat and shitted in the lav. He said he was going to lay some transatlantic cable.

by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005