Frank Klaune's definitions

jimhat

Street slang for "condom".

"Don't go nowhere without 'cha jimhat. Gotta be smarta' than that."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich

Perhaps the most famous and most recognized Tomism (see "Tomism"), the term is used as a general insult. Tom K. would speak of another person as having "the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich". It is believed that Tom did not originate the phrase, however. In recent times, the phrase has been combined with "without the jelly" on the end- supposedly to indicate that a peanut butter sandwich WITH jelly has somehow a measurably higher I.Q. Go figure.

"Frank is such an idiot. He's got the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich."

by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004

urinal protocol

The unwritten, unmentioned male code of conduct strictly governing behaviour in a public restroom.

Urinal protocol dicktates (pardon the pun) that every male must make due effort to accommodate a buffer urinal if possible. In situations when a buffer urinal is not possible, the pissor must engage in mindless, inane, random conversation with his fellow piss-ees- a phenomenon known as urinal talk. The highest rule of urinal protocol governs eye contact. Eyes must remain straight ahead in a zombie-like stare, and finish with only a brief glance downward (at your putz) during the final shake. While a brief glance at the face of a fellow piss-ee is an acceptable part of urinal talk, a 30 second jaw-agape stare at his dong is un-cool. Similarly, while placing a hand on the wall above the urinal to steady one's self is acceptable (especially when drunk), placing one's hand on another's sholder is not too cool. Urinal talk must never lead to the pissor urinating on the shoes of the piss-ee.

Urinal protocol evolved as a means to deal with urinal anxiety (also referred to as being pee shy) and it's corresponding eccentric behaviour. Restroom owners may erect (pardon the pun) a shame shield as a method of dealing with urinal anxiety and encourage compliance with the time-tested "urinal protocol".

Damn, Frank is such an idiot. He was standing at the trough staring at the black guy's dick.

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

gone to pot

An item which is broken, defective or substandard. Two explainations have been historically applied. The first is that in olden times when food was scarce, people would leave the bones, fat and undesireable portions behind after eating their meal. These second-rate items would be used for soup the next day, so as such, the poor-quality leftovers would "go to pot". The second (and more plausible) explaination is that in the days of the industrial revolution and early mass-production, assembly workers would occasionally find a defective or out-of-tolerance part which was not suitable for use. This part would be sent back to the smelting room to be melted down and re-cast a second time. Since the smelting was done in a giant pot, these defective parts had "gone to pot". In either case, the phrase gained popular use by the American homeowner who would occasionally wear out an item which would fail- often at an inconvenient time.

Frank didn't want to take his car in for routine maintenance. I wasn't surprised when his vacation was ruined after the car went to pot last summer.

by Frank Klaune May 13, 2005

frilly dilly

The unfortunate result of having a circumcision done with pinking shears.

There's Frank. His doctor was some sort of drunken dumbass when he was born and now he has a frilly dilly.

by Frank Klaune January 2, 2005

transatlantic cable

Humorous reference to shitting in the lavatory on an airplane which is en-route across the Atlantic ocean.

About two hours after leaving JFK airport, Frank got out of his seat and shitted in the lav. He said he was going to lay some transatlantic cable.

by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005

double barreled slingshot

Humorous reference to a brassiere.

Damn, Frank shagged some fat chick from the party. He almost got away with it, but his folks found her double barreled slingshot under the couch.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005