Frank Klaune's definitions

fuck her headlights out

Term used to describe vigorous sex with a some hot bitch. Usually used in a hypothetical situation- bar talk.

Frank was all boozed up when he gestured to that bitch in the corner and said to me, "hey... how would you like to fuck her headlights out." Frank is such a moron.

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

K-Mart Liturgy

You get up on a Sunday morning, take a shower, dress, then head out of the house. Your family is very sure that you are a good boy, heading out to go to church. Instead of attending church services, however, you go to K-Mart and spend just the appropriate amount of time there browsing merchandise so upon your return, your ruse is very convincing.

Frank's parents think he is such a good boy but we know the truth. He did a K-Mart Liturgy and bought condoms.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

urinal anxiety

An affliction of males characterized by unusual behaviours in the men's room. Urinal anxiety is manifest in the actions of a man who walks into the men's room and heads directly toward the urinals, but -upon seeing another man already standing at a nearby urinal- immediately changes course for the stalls. Urinal anxiety afflicts a substantial number of males who have a phobia about pissing in a location where another male might notice their schlong (as if other males would have an interest in someone else's schlong...). The most extreme form of urinal anxiety is usually seen in locations using the old "trough" urinals often placed in ball park restrooms. The afflicted male approaches the other happy, piss-spattering companions, pulls his dick out, and... and... and... (after a long delay) zips his dick back up, unable to urinate, and shame-facedly departs the restroom unsatisfied.

Damn, Frank never uses the urinals. The other day he went into the women's room at the ball park to avoid the trough. I think he's gripped by urinal anxiety.

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

blastus

Aside from being the name of a biblical character, "blastus" is another term designating a type of fart. A very large amount of intestinal gas is expelled at considerable force. As the flattus is violently expelled through the anus, the high amplitude oscillation of the sphincter results in a great, explosive, low tone of frightful volume. The term may also be applied as a proper noun as necessary.

Grotee let loose (with a "blastus") and it shook the walls. That's why they call him Blastus.

by Frank Klaune October 18, 2004

sprog

v. Synonyms: cum, ejaculate, blow gravy, spoo.

Damn, Frank has a porn tape where a guy sprogs in some chicks nose like a Vicks nasal inhaler.

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

leakatorium

Slang for the restroom or WC. The term is a more polite version of "pissalorium" suitable for use in mixed audiences. It makes you appear highly intelligent and sophisticated as if you know Latin, when in reality, you think it's a language spoken in Latvia.

Ladies, excuse me. I must attend the leakatorium.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

nut rot

Term pertaining to the deleterious effect of the sweat from your nut sack upon surrounding tissue and material. Nut rot causes your underwear to prematurely fail in the crotch area immediately beside where your sack rides. Nut rot becomes visible as a tan or brown stain in the area where your crotch is on the inside of the underwear. Next, the seam and the stretchy elastic gives way and eventually the entire crotch area of the underwear gives out and your nuts hang out from beneath your underwear in the area where the underwear material used to be. Nut rot also affects the skin of the crotch in cases where a person uses poor hygiene and / or lack of bathing or showering. See crotch rot.

Damn, when Frank was on the campout, his nards hung out of his skivvies. He must have major nut rot in his tighty whities.

by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005