Frank Klaune's definitions

spray paint

The forceful, sometimes violent expulsion of liquid shit into the toilet at high velocity. The "spray paint" term relates to the viewing of the underside of the toilet seat and the general condition of the toilet bowl which is usually well sprayed with dumpage.

"Man, I had such a gut cramp, I ran to the bathroom and let go with spray paint. Damn, it's a good thing we're at Frank's house. I wouldn't want to clean that up at my house."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

ahs-wee-pay

Less commonly as of late, it is the phonetic, literal pronounciation of "asswipe" (said usually with a fake foreign accent). The term is used as a direct replacement for "asswipe" just with the foreign-sounding pronounciation for any of a number of stupid reasons.

"Hey ahs-wee-payyyy... wot's up mon?"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

Poopalorium

Similar to "leakatorium" but indicating a #2 function at the restroom.

Damn, Frank sure takes a long time in the poopalorium.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

onion soup

Phrase used to describe powerful B.O. (body odor). A person with powerful, stenchy, reeking B.O. may smell like onion soup. The smell is common among the french people.

Damn, Frank didn't take a shower for two weeks. When he came into the room, Mike said, "PHEW! Onion soup!"

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

test fart

When you are in a social / public situation and have the urge to pass a considerable amount of gas. If it has been a long time since your last fart, you are unsure of:

1) The sound level (volume) of the fart
2) The smell level (stench) of the fart

... so you let out a small amount of the fart in a discreet fashion- thus you have let a test fart.

Frank was in church the other day and had to fart really bad. He said he intended to let a test fart but instead of a squibbler, it turned out to be a blastus and he wound up shitting his pants in the middle of the sermon. Damn, what an idiot!

by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005

spreading joy

The phrase refers to the process of letting a massive amount of fart gas out in a carefully metered way- usually by farting silently while walking. In this manner, a disasterously huge amount of fart may be discretely dispensed over a larger geographical area. When faced with the prospect of needing to fart in a socially awkward situation, a person often resorts to initially letting a test fart. If the test fart indicates a vile, deadly amount of gas, the person may opt to walk (for example) from the punch bowl across the dance floor, and over to the bar- all the while silently farting the whole way. People at the punch bowl will begin vomiting, the dance floor will clear and the bar area patrons may begin to pass out. Meanwhile, the farter may actually be dozens of feet away, thus escaping blame. In such a way, the farter is said to be "spreading joy."

Damn, Frank is such an idiot. He farted over by the band and kept walking. He's spreading joy all over the wedding reception. How disgusting!

by Frank Klaune September 1, 2005

Lett

The second smallest category in the scientific measurement of farts. Usually involuntarily released, the lett ranks between the SBD and a squibbler.

"Frank bent over to change the tire and a lett squeaked out."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004