Frank Klaune's definitions

spreading joy

The phrase refers to the process of letting a massive amount of fart gas out in a carefully metered way- usually by farting silently while walking. In this manner, a disasterously huge amount of fart may be discretely dispensed over a larger geographical area. When faced with the prospect of needing to fart in a socially awkward situation, a person often resorts to initially letting a test fart. If the test fart indicates a vile, deadly amount of gas, the person may opt to walk (for example) from the punch bowl across the dance floor, and over to the bar- all the while silently farting the whole way. People at the punch bowl will begin vomiting, the dance floor will clear and the bar area patrons may begin to pass out. Meanwhile, the farter may actually be dozens of feet away, thus escaping blame. In such a way, the farter is said to be "spreading joy."

Damn, Frank is such an idiot. He farted over by the band and kept walking. He's spreading joy all over the wedding reception. How disgusting!

by Frank Klaune September 1, 2005

first cut them off then flip them off

The phrase is used as advice for impatient drivers (usually impatient, incompetant yuppy sorts in overly expensive cars) who hesitate when a much slower car approaches the intersection (usually driven by an old fart with a handicapped sign on the mirror). If the yuppy waits, he will inevitably be trapped behind the slow old fart for a long time. Thus the advice, "first cut them off, then flip them off" intended to not only offend the other driver by cutting them off, but also to infuriate them by giving them "the bird" immediately thereafter. A totally un-called-for move which is very hilarious, it is also summed up by the phrase, "those who hesitate, wait". Either phrase perhaps best summarizes the attitude of extreme, offensive driving- skills not taught in your average Driver's Ed Class.

"Frank slowed down at the intersection, but when he saw that handicapped sign on the approaching car in the cross traffic, he gunned it without stopping. As the tires squealed around the corner, he rolled the window down and flipped off the cross traffic. I asked him what the hell he was doing and he replied, "first cut them off, then flip them off". Man, Frank is an asshole!"

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004

urf

Euphemism for the vomit. "Urf" is useable as a noun or verb and is directly synonymous with "ralph". Urf is a much more useful word as it best approximates the wretched sound of a person who is delivering street pizza by inverting their tummy.

Man, Frank was so screwed up on bourbon last night he stepped outside to urf. In the morning the neighbors smelled something nasty and saw the urf in the bird bath.

by Frank Klaune November 24, 2004

Lett

The second smallest category in the scientific measurement of farts. Usually involuntarily released, the lett ranks between the SBD and a squibbler.

"Frank bent over to change the tire and a lett squeaked out."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

chucklefuck

1) A bumbling, stupid, inept person.
2) A confusing mess; a conundrum; any chaotic situation
3) A person of low intelligence who gets himself into a comical quandary.

"Frank just took off for the store and forgot his wallet again. What a chucklefuck!"

"When the storm hit in the middle of the parade, the whole festival became one big chucklefuck."

"That chucklefuck Frank got drunk and drank from that shampoo bottle."

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

scrambled egg

Derogatory term used to describe a person of diminished mental capacity- formerly known as "retarded".

Damn, Frank is so impatient. He got mad when his McDonald's order got screwed up and yelled at the scrambled egg who took his order.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

choregasm

Sucessful completion of the sex act, but only after outrageously exhaustive efforts. Usually used to describe a rather un-satisfying sexual experience which one has been working very hard at achieving and, upon completion, does not think it was worth it.

"Lisa was playing hard to get. I had to take her out six times and spend a fortune on her to get laid, and then all she did was lay there and complain the wholetime. What a choregasm!"

by Frank Klaune November 22, 2003