Frank Klaune's definitions

lipstick on your dipstick

Does this really need an explanation? It seems to be used primarily when lecherous drunks are sitting at a bar and a hot bitch walks in.

(Drunks talking in a bar as the hot bitch walks in)...

"Damn, Frank. Check out what just came in the door! Man.... How'd you like to get her lipstick on your dipstick?"

by Frank Klaune January 27, 2005

finger wave

Term describing the anal prostate check portion of the annual physical examination done on older men. The "finger wave" is done by the gloved hand of the examining physician. One only hopes that while the "finger wave" is being done you don't feel both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders at the same time or you're in trouble.

Old man Klaune went to the doctor and got a finger wave.

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

in the tank

Broken, hopeless, ruined. Synonyms: screwed up or fucked up.

Damn! Frank was going to have a big outdoor barbecue this weekend but when the forecast called for rain, he knew his plans were in the tank.

Frank started his car, depressed the accelerator to the floor and shifted back and forth between "R" and "D". Now his transmission is in the tank.

by Frank Klaune April 29, 2005

fiberal

A wise and witty observation relating to how today's liberal interacts in the modern world. It is the obvious mix of "fib" (as in lie / liar and deceit) and "iberal" (as in "liberal"- i.e. ignorant, unrealistic socialist who wants big government to solve all problems at the expense of liberty). An accurate portrayal of today's left wing kooks who use revisionist history, rhetoric, character assasination and a complicit media to further their own skewed agenda which flies in the face of history, reason and common sense.

"I turned on the news tonight but couldn't stand the biased trash the fiberals were dishing up, so we played Scrabble instead."

by Frank Klaune July 9, 2004

quim and tonic

Humorous mismangulation of "gin and tonic". The term indicates a high degree of drunkenness followed by sex with a woman. It seems to specifically imply a man who is highly drunk performing oral sex on a woman. The tonic may, or may not be drank while performing the oral sex.

Damn, I wondered where Frank went at the party, so I walked out to the porch. He was so damn drunk out there with some chick on the porch swing. She was moaning out loud as he was getting some quim and tonic.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

nut rot

Term pertaining to the deleterious effect of the sweat from your nut sack upon surrounding tissue and material. Nut rot causes your underwear to prematurely fail in the crotch area immediately beside where your sack rides. Nut rot becomes visible as a tan or brown stain in the area where your crotch is on the inside of the underwear. Next, the seam and the stretchy elastic gives way and eventually the entire crotch area of the underwear gives out and your nuts hang out from beneath your underwear in the area where the underwear material used to be. Nut rot also affects the skin of the crotch in cases where a person uses poor hygiene and / or lack of bathing or showering. See crotch rot.

Damn, when Frank was on the campout, his nards hung out of his skivvies. He must have major nut rot in his tighty whities.

by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005

fucknob

1) A contemptible person of low intelligence.
2) A term of endearment for a person who has just done you wrong.
3) Relating a contemptible person to a sexual device in such a way as to equate such low intelligence with an inanimate object of gratification (i.e. a head with no brains).

"Oh you fucknob! You just ran into my car!"

"That Frank... he's one colossal fucknob!"

by Frank Klaune November 5, 2003