Ford Leiden's definitions

cry me a joaquin

Something said to someone when your sympathy for them is so low they aren't even worth crying a river over.
A reference to Joaquin Phoenix and his older, more talented brother River Phoenix.

Ohhh, poor baby. Cry me a joaquin

by Ford Leiden December 28, 2009

My Fair Kitty

A younger version of a cat lady. A young woman who shows the early stages of Crazy Cat Lady tendencies. May be a Cat Lady in training whether they know it or not.

I went to Amanda's apartment and just couldn't help thinking "she's going to end up a crazy old cat lady one of these days. She just needs a crazy cat lady Henry Higgins, then she'll be My Fair Kitty"

by Ford Leiden December 25, 2009

Fag Hag Bitch

A gay male who has Fag Hag female friends that don't actually respect him and merely use him as a means to passively-aggressively vent their own frustrations and hostilities towards straight males. Typically they are seen as cute and adorable and only capable of talking about cliche, girly topics, thus they are seen more as a emasculated male then as an actual human being by their fag hag friends.

Why does Bobby hang out with those bitches, they don't respect him. He's such a Fag Hag Bitch.

by Ford Leiden January 4, 2010

Cherry Picker

When a homosexual attempts to convince a heterosexual to experiment in their first homosexual encounter, not because they genuinely think that they are homosexuals but simply for the conquest

A: I love all these liberal, open-minded hipster boys, they're so easy to guilt trip into a freebie.

B: You're such a cherry picker.

by Ford Leiden December 26, 2009

Pull a Plainview

An act that occurs after one person wins an argument against another person. Can only apply if the loser of the argument has reached a point of being shut down and literally cannot speak any longer. The winner of the argument must have already prepared an iPod with a speaker or any sort of music playing device prior to winning the argument in anticipation of the opportunity to "Pull a Plainview" Once the winner has established that they won the argument, they say "I'm Finished" then play the music "Brahm's Violin concerto in D major", exactly like the last scene in the film "There will be Blood" The winner will then allow the entire song to play simply to rub in that they won the argument.

That little bitch was so bad when I proved him wrong how could I help but Pull a Plainview just to rub it in.

by Ford Leiden December 27, 2009

Queef Off

When two women compete in queefing tactics, similar to two musicians performing dueling banjos

I challenge you to a queef off!
Da-da dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum
de-de-dum, de-dum, de-dum, de-dum...

by Ford Leiden December 26, 2009

Avatar Haiti guilt trip

What you give James Cameron when you bump into him and demand your $10 back for that shitty film and want to give it to the Haitian Earthquake relief fund.

Hey James Cameron, you a little short on cash after 12 years? Get over here so I can give you an Avatar Haiti guilt trip!

by Ford Leiden January 17, 2010