FitofPeak's definitions

lotion chimp

A particularly low-order minion -- qualified to perfrom only the most mindless tasks, on the order of a trained chimpanzee smearing suntan lotion on its reclining master.

I had a morning meeting, so I had my lotion chimp come over and let the electrician in.

by FitofPeak May 26, 2010

man-aging partner

A shrewish, nagging spouse who thereby takes at least two years off of one's life for each year of marriage.

"Sorry, guys, I can't make the game -- the man-aging partner has me on garage cleanout duty, eff me."

by FitofPeak August 25, 2012

Fecocephaly

Shitheadedness; having shit for brains. From feco- (feces) + -cephaly (pertaining to the head).

Professor Hull's thesis is not merely obviously wrong, but reaches new heights of fecocephaly. Kudos to the tenure system for providing him the continued opportunity for such ascents.

by FitofPeak July 17, 2012

Lewdicrous

The quality of being silly or absurd, with an off-color sexual aspect.

His readers were amused by his often lewdicrous turns of phrase, such as "She's had the clap so many times it's applause" or ""You must be nuts to be sleeping with her, or at least be thinking with them."

by FitofPeak June 28, 2012

iNert

The state of being so engrossed in one's device (iPhone, iPad or equivalent) that one remains oblivious to all surrounding activity and communication and to the social norms that once governed them. Accordingly, the Law of iNertia states that a person engaged with his or her device will remain so engaged, regardless of any forces acting upon them to achieve a change of state. (The Law of iNertia thus operates contrary to the Law of Inertia, according to which a body at rest will remain at rest and a body in motion will continue moving with a constant velocity unless acted upon by an external non zero force.)

"Hon, did you ask Mike to take out the trash?"

"Yeah, but he was iNert. I'll try after dinner."

by FitofPeak July 27, 2014

iDrown

An iPhone that has been accidentally immersed in water, beer, soup or other liquid, with resultant catastrophic failure.

"Sorry I didn't call, I'm rocking an iDrown after falling into Dave's pool last night."

by FitofPeak September 18, 2012

Don't leave horsepower in the showroom

A metaphorical rule to live by: don't make the mistake of choosing the cheaper option to save a buck in the short run, when you'll curse yourself later for not getting the better-grade product/service in the long run.

Eric: "What was I thinking buying that Porsche with the V-4 instead of the V-6 -- it handled like a Formula 1 car but is a total slug in a straight line!"
Tim: "Dude, you broke rule number 1 -- don't leave horsepower in the showroom."
And so --
Maddie: "This well Margarita sucks -- why didn't I get the Cadillac for two bucks more?"
Amy: "Exactly. Don't leave horsepower in the showroom, sweetie."

by FitofPeak January 2, 2015