ElCommissioner 's definitions

coronaphoner

A coronaphoner is a very modern phenomenon triggered by the heinous virus. An interview by a journalist conducted from afar is termed a "phoner". An interview conducted from any distance, but now via cell phone to maintain social distance, is a coronaphoner.

I needed to interview the police chief, so we did a coronaphoner while I sat in the parking lot outside her office.

by ElCommissioner March 30, 2020

fiddlist

A musician who plays the violin in many styles; classical or bluegrass, hillbilly, or rock. A hybrid musician of sorts, not a violinist or a fiddle player...that person is a fiddlist.

She is so great... she plays it all, a true fiddlist!

by ElCommissioner January 16, 2025

lingodark

The confusing place many of us end up visiting several times a day, or the feeling that we get...when and where people say things that are meaningless to us. Our language changes on a dime these days, and being lingodark is the result.

"I gave my roommate props for cleaning the cat, and he said ,"Totes!". Right then, I felt lingodark.

by ElCommissioner March 14, 2020

vowel obstruction

You experience a vowel obstruction when you're beginning game of Scrabble. You draw tiles to bring you up to the regulation seven, and they are all vowels. Seven Vowels. All you can play is "a". Then you draw another tile, and it's a "u"!

I looked down at my letters, and they are all vowels! Couldn't make a decent play....complete vowel obstruction.

by ElCommissioner September 8, 2019

Sonomacana

A genre of popular music "indigenous" to Sonoma, California. Originally populated by Native Americans, there is no record of the music original to the area that remains. Sonomacana is the type of music one now hears there, a hybridization of many types and styles, from blues to rock and roll to folk to jazz. Nowhere is such a wide variety of genres kept alive as in Sonomacana.

"What kind of music to the band play?" "They are all over the place, truly Sonomacana."

by ElCommissioner November 4, 2018

microgambia

A person who suffers from legs that are too small, short, or otherwise just wrong suffers from Microgambia. Originating in Italy, where the word for leg is "gamba", the disorder is idiopathic and untreatable.

He is one funny looking guy, he has a severe case of Microgambia.

by ElCommissioner December 6, 2020

fritzed up

"Fritzed up" is just a G-Rated way of saying "fucked up."

Just the other day, I heard a little kid, probably in first grade, say to his mom, "My shoes are all fritzed up, I want some news ones."

by ElCommissioner August 12, 2019