Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Laxative Lingo

The constant barrage of pure, unadulterated lies, misinformation, disinformation and management masterbationand just made up non-sense because of lack of knowledge that is spewed from the mouths of members of management in any given company. Most often, Laxative Lingo is spewed from members of management that are completely incompetent and unqualified to be in their positions and are highly over paid. Many Laxative Lingo spewing managers have achieved their roles because of the Peter Principle.

John: Hey Bill. How are things down in accounting these days?
Bill: How do you think they are? The CFO is an idiot. He can't count to ten and like the rest of management here, spews nothing but Laxative Lingo every time he opens his mount.

John: This is terrible place to work. Thanks for reminding me.

by Eaton Holgoode April 11, 2013

Velvet Drape

Dragging a low hanging, freshly, shaved, velvety smooth scrotum up and down and around your partner’s face. Smacking each cheek pendulum style is a plus. Often finished with a good old fashioned tea bagging.

I gave Rachel the old velvet drape last night. Tea bag? Hellzzzz yea.

by Eaton Holgoode December 8, 2017

Waxed Sack

A smoothly shaved scrotum.

Rachel loves my waxed sack.

I keep a waxed sack.

My waxed sack makes sucking my balls more pleasurable for us both.

I don’t get chaffed anymore with a waxed sack.

by Eaton Holgoode February 1, 2018

Butcher's Slap

Gyrating your flaccid man meat back and forth and up and down in rapid fashion while slapping your girl's face with it from every direction. With the proper length and girth, should sound like a piece of raw meat hitting a cutting board.

Tina was begging to try something new last night so I gave her the old butcher's slap. She really enjoyed it.

by Eaton Holgoode March 24, 2017

Ball Jester

A male or female engaged solely to attend and entertain men at a party by performing oral sex.

Are you going to Ryan’s party this year? Last year he had a toothless ball jester and I got a hot gummy. I think she was some meth whore off the street but it sure felt good.

by Eaton Holgoode January 8, 2018

Pink Blossom

A perfectly pink and puckered female booty hole.

Rachel was begging me to tongue punch her pink blossom.

I was hittin her doggie when I spread them cheeks and peeked at her pink blossom.

The aroma of her pink blossom was intoxicating.

by Eaton Holgoode October 16, 2018

Jelly Mouth

When you have vigorous oral sex with your girlfriend immediately after she comes done at the dentist and is all mouth numbed from Novocain. Reduction in her gag response allows for more gratifying deep throat action and she cannot easily identify your point of orgasm so you can easily throat one down.

I’ll be late today. I’m taking Rachel to the dentist. She can’t go alone? She can but I’m working that jelly mouth as soon as she’s in the car. Ain’t missing that brooohhh.

by Eaton Holgoode February 5, 2018