Eaton Holgoode's definitions
Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag. The primary difference is that Grandma's Tea Towel is used exclusively by promiscuous females over the age of 60 to clean up semen and vaginal juices from sexual activity. Grandma's Tea Towels are most commonly found underneath Craftmatic Adjustable Beds and under Electric Function and Electric Assist beds found in Assisted Living Facilities throughout the country.
Nurse Sandy: Mary, will you please call Housekeeping and have them do a laundry sweep down the West wing?
Nurse Mary: Sure thing. Anything they need to know?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Please ask them to check under all the beds for Grandma's Tea Towel.
Nurse Mary: Are the female residents getting restless again?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Apparently Dr. Smith is getting a paid vacation from the drug company representative again. The patient scripts for Viagra have tripled in the last week.
Nurse Mary: Sure thing. Anything they need to know?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Please ask them to check under all the beds for Grandma's Tea Towel.
Nurse Mary: Are the female residents getting restless again?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Apparently Dr. Smith is getting a paid vacation from the drug company representative again. The patient scripts for Viagra have tripled in the last week.
by Eaton Holgoode May 13, 2014
Get the Grandma's Tea Towel mug.Head. Sucking dick. Oral copulation of the penis that typically results in the bustin’ of a hot throat oyster from an aggressive skull fucking.
I’ll be bustin’ gums on Rachel tonight.
As soon as I got home the D was in her mouf bustin’ gums.
I was bustin’ gums and popped a sticky oyster. Her eyes watered and she gagged but took it like a champ.
As soon as I got home the D was in her mouf bustin’ gums.
I was bustin’ gums and popped a sticky oyster. Her eyes watered and she gagged but took it like a champ.
by Eaton Holgoode January 28, 2018
Get the Bustin’ Gums mug.I sat on the shitter thinking I was gonna bust a huge growler but all I worked out was a pinch biscuit.
There was a pinch biscuit floating in the crapper by the break room.
I just dropped a handful of pinch biscuits.
There was a pinch biscuit floating in the crapper by the break room.
I just dropped a handful of pinch biscuits.
by Eaton Holgoode October 11, 2018
Get the Pinch Biscuit mug.An individual that is an absolute cock slut. Will suck any cock, any time and any place. Becomes an absolute slave to the dick when presented with a cock. Worship includes copious amounts of slobber, hand and mouth action including rubbing with other body parts such as the feet. Other acts of worship may include lipping, smacking, throating and constant fondling.
Rachel is a cock worshiping whore. She sees the D and that's it. She'll work that cock till it blows all over her.
by Eaton Holgoode April 24, 2017
Get the Cock Worshiping Whore mug.Tanya worked her lover Mary's magic bean until Mary exploded in a massive, screaming, squirting orgasm.
by Eaton Holgoode July 2, 2009
Get the Magic Bean mug.Launching the most egregious, rank and gag inducing flatulence while in a crowded room. The kind that's thick and clings to the air for several minutes but still lingers in the nostrils after it dissipates.
Don't go over by the bar for about 10 minutes. I just did a beef drop. Look at them over there. They can't breath.
by Eaton Holgoode March 6, 2017
Get the Beef Drop mug.When the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis is pinched with the thumb and forefinger then pulled as far as it can stretch. Upon reaching the threshold of pain, the skin is released and it shoots back onto place.
I thought giving my girl a turkey slap was fun until she did the turkey shoot on me. It shot back like a rubber band.
by Eaton Holgoode November 14, 2017
Get the Turkey Shoot mug.