DrJonas's definitions

doonstars

the Scottish version of downstairs, in all it's many meanings.

"Hullo ya big jessie, shull we go doonstars so ah cun see ya doonstars area?"

by DrJonas December 17, 2007

fishnickered

1. To be slapped in the face with a fish and a Snickers bar simultaneously, ideally one on either cheek.

2. To have a smelly downstairs area if you are a lady.

1. "Ow my beautiful face! I can't believe you just fishnickered me!"

2. "Sorry about the smell lads, I'm pretty fishnickered today."

by DrJonas February 1, 2010

Kebabanash

Rare delicacy food found in the morning (or afternoon) after a house party. It is made by using a leftover meaty snack as an ashtray, often without the owner of the fast food being aware. Seeing (or eating) such delights on a hungover morning may lead to nausea effects.

At 3pm on the day after a house party:

Mr A: "Morning duuude, how hungover are you? I feels terribles..."
Dr B: "I've been horrendously sick after microwaving a bit of breakfast kebabanash and devouring it."

by DrJonas February 4, 2010

SMSTD

SMSTD or S.M.S.T.D. abbr.

1. noun. Short Message Service Transmitted Disease: a text message of a comical sexually transmitted disease such as chlamydia.
2. verb. to send a textually transmitted disease over a mobile phone.

I spent my office hours SMSTDing syphilis to everyone in my address book. not many people found it as funny as i did.

by DrJonas December 13, 2006

wrong boner

An erection (or boner) achieved whilst watching inappropriate or even non-sexual material, such as scenes featuring:

1. Incest
2. Children
3. People dressed as manatees
4. Cartoon characters
5. etc.

"I got such a wrong boner watching..."

1. The sex scene in Oldboy
2. Natalie Portman in Leon
3. Manatee porn
4. A pixelated Sonic The Hedgehog with porn sounds added on YouTube
5. A picture of a shoe

by DrJonas February 4, 2010

asleep at the keys

To sleep during an online conversation. This can be due to the conversation taking place late at night, being really boring, and/or the person in question being tired or (more commonly) drunk.

The term can also be used when someone is being slow at responding, should you suspect that they have fallen asleep.

At 1:34 AM:

Mr A: "...so yeah, that's the end of that epic adventure story, what do you think about that?"
Mr A: "Hello?"
Mr A: "I'm totally wasting my time and effort on this conversation aren't I?"
Mr A: "YOU'RE A SHIT FRIEND!!!"

At 7:51 AM:

Dr B: "Woah, sorry man... I was totally asleep at the keys!"

by DrJonas February 15, 2010

Convulsive Viewing

Unlike compulsive viewing, this is a TV program or series that causes convulsions of the stomach, or full body. This could be a food program that has gone horrendously wrong, or any form of epilepsy-inducing imagery.

Mr A: "Did you catch that Japanese flashing robot cartoon cookery show last night?"
Dr B: "Yes, but sadly it gave me seizures and the food made me vomit... That's what I call convulsive viewing."

by DrJonas February 6, 2010