Dr. Heywood R. Floyd's definitions

grottie

a girl who is gross, but a hottie. She burps, farts, scratches her butt and when she picks her nose or ears yells, "Jackpot!"

Particularly desirable as a girlfriend as she's hot... and being gross herself, she can never be disgusted with you because she is disgusting herself.

Marry her.

You hit the jackpot, brotha! You’ve got a girlfriend who can never get on your case for being disgusting because she’s even more disgusting. Sonny is gross and a hottie. She’s a Grottie!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd August 20, 2010

thought-criminal

an American who isn't a neocon.

You're a traitor! You're a thought-criminal! You're a terrorist spy! I'll shoot you, I'll vaporize you, I'll send you to the salt mines!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 6, 2007

Jesum Crow!

A bastardization of the exclamation "Jesus Christ!" but less vulgar.

Jesum Crow! I dropped one of my diamonds in the macaroni!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 25, 2008

moistmaker

an extra slice of gravy-soaked bread inside a turkey sandwich to make it extra moist. Monica on "Friends" invented it and Ross named it. Ross got really upset one time, when his boss ate his sandwich with a moistmaker.

Ross: Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a moistmaker?

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd December 25, 2007

Don't even go there.

Don't try that. Don't bring up that subject. You'll get nowhere with me, by trying the argumentative tactic that you just attempted.

Person #1: Hey, stop drinking my beer!

Person #2: Well, you took a nibble of my chicken diable that time.

Person #1: Don't even go there.

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd September 28, 2008

Bob Crane

"Hogan" on "Hogan's Heroes." He was also a sex addict who got killed by a pervy friend.

"After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex." - Peter Griffin of the Family Guy

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd March 17, 2008

mockolate

Fake chocolate on "Friends". Monica did a gig as a chef for the mockolate promoters. They wanted mockolate to become the traditional food of Thanksgiving. It bubbled, people made a face when they ate it. Phoebe said it was what evil tasted like.

The company that made it went out of business, but they still paid Monica. That was pretty cool, assuming the check cleared.

Monica: Okay, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd July 5, 2008