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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd's definitions

Richard Dawkins

born in 1941, coiner of the word meme. He has lately taken up the mantle of the late Madalyn Murray O'Hair and become the obnoxious atheist of the English-speaking world.

He wrote an essay called Viruses of the Mind, referring to religion. He calls believers, faith-sufferers, and disparages even those who are tolerant of others' faith. He thinks they are a large part of the problem.
Richard Dawkins, you sure are an arrogant atheist.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 14, 2007
mugGet the Richard Dawkinsmug.

snooch to the nooch

sometimes used as a war cry, for example when saving women from attack by demons outside abortion clinics.
Bethany: Aaaahhhhhhh!
Jay: SNOOCH TO THE NOOCH!
Stygians: Wtf?
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd March 8, 2008
mugGet the snooch to the noochmug.

Dr. Heywood R. Floyd

He was the chairman of the National Council of Astronautics in 2001. He tracked down the monolith buried on the moon and touched it, whereupon it transmitted a signal to Jupiter.
Dr. Heywood R. Floyd: Good day, gentlemen. When you see this briefing, I presume you will be nearing your destination, Saturn. I hope that you've had a pleasant and uneventful trip and that the rest of your mission continues in the same manner. I should like to fill you in on some more of the details on which Mission Commander Kaminsky will have already briefed you. Thirteen months before the launch date of your Saturn mission, on April 12th, 2001, the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth was discovered.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 7, 2007
mugGet the Dr. Heywood R. Floydmug.

funny papers

the comics section of the Sunday newspaper.
Give me half the funny papers or die.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd October 5, 2008
mugGet the funny papersmug.

crack pipe

what people tell you to put down, when you say something stupid.
Stupid Person: How many calories does water have?

Me: Put down the crack pipe. It doesn't have any, it's water.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd June 7, 2007
mugGet the crack pipemug.

Jesum Crow!

A bastardization of the exclamation "Jesus Christ!" but less vulgar.
Jesum Crow! I dropped one of my diamonds in the macaroni!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 25, 2008
mugGet the Jesum Crow!mug.

moistmaker

an extra slice of gravy-soaked bread inside a turkey sandwich to make it extra moist. Monica on "Friends" invented it and Ross named it. Ross got really upset one time, when his boss ate his sandwich with a moistmaker.
Ross: Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a moistmaker?
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd December 25, 2007
mugGet the moistmakermug.

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