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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd's definitions

richochet biscuit

A ricochet biscuit is the kind of a biscuit that's supposed to bounce back off the wall into your mouth. If it don't bounce back... you go hungry!
The other day I had a richochet biscuit. Bow wow wow!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 12, 2007
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fourthmeal

a corporate conspiracy to further addict the hapless masses to crappy, fat-laden food.
Dude #1: Want to go for fourthmeal? I feel like some Mexican food.

Dude #2: No, I don't do everything the TV tells me to. I think I'll have a salad. Besides, if you think you're going to get Mexican food at Taco Bell, you deserve what you get.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd July 4, 2007
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flibble

to make a funny face

(from TV's "The Electric Company")
I flibbled and scared my little brother.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd September 21, 2007
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Richard Dawkins

born in 1941, coiner of the word meme. He has lately taken up the mantle of the late Madalyn Murray O'Hair and become the obnoxious atheist of the English-speaking world.

He wrote an essay called Viruses of the Mind, referring to religion. He calls believers, faith-sufferers, and disparages even those who are tolerant of others' faith. He thinks they are a large part of the problem.
Richard Dawkins, you sure are an arrogant atheist.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 14, 2007
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pearls before swine

Arg! They rejected my definition of shouty-crackers again! It's a real piece of urban slang that they don't have in there! Pearls before swine, I tell you what.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 19, 2007
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nigerian scam

when you get an email from someone in Nigeria, who pretends to have been involved in some sort of coup de etat or related to some bigwig or something and says he's got the loot and needs a place to hide it, like your bank account and then they butter you up saying they got your name because you are known to be honest or some shit. They talk all weird and foreign and misspell stuff, to make you think that THEY are the gullible one.

They offer you a couple of million to store the ten million or so and then when you bite, they try to get your bank account info so they can steal your identity. If you are stupid enough, they'll have you writing them checks (or "advance fees") and they'll just keep stringing you along saying something went wrong and send more money.

Worst case scenario: they get you to fly over there. Never do that. Once you are in their clutches, you're, well, in their clutches.
Nigerian scam letter:

Dear Sir:

First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. We are top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently trapped in Nigeria. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us RECIEVE the said trapped funds ABROAD.

The source of this fund is as follows : During the regime of our late head of state, Gen. Sani Abacha, the government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over-invoiced in various Ministries. The NEW CIVILIAN Government set up a Contract Review Panel (C.R.P) and we have identified a lot of inflated contract funds which are presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria (C.B.N).

However, due to our position as civil servants and members of this panel, we cannot acquire this money in our names. I have therefore, been delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues of the panel to look for an Overseas partner INTO whose ACCOUNT the sum of US$31,000,000.00 (Thirty one Million United States Dollars) WILL BE PAID BY TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER. Hence we are writing you this letter.We have agreed to share the money thus:

70% for us (the officials)

20% for the FOREIGN PARTNER (you)

10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses.

A SUITABLE NAME AND BANK ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THE FUNDS CAN BE PAID. PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO RESPOND BY TELEPHONE OR FAX.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 12, 2007
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mockolate

Fake chocolate on "Friends". Monica did a gig as a chef for the mockolate promoters. They wanted mockolate to become the traditional food of Thanksgiving. It bubbled, people made a face when they ate it. Phoebe said it was what evil tasted like.

The company that made it went out of business, but they still paid Monica. That was pretty cool, assuming the check cleared.
Monica: Okay, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd July 5, 2008
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