Dr Merkin's definitions

Semenophilia

Noun; Disorder characterised by an overwhelming, intrusive and pathological desire of the sufferer to procure and consume male semen. Usually refers to collection of semen via sexual acts, although victims of the condition may also scrape residue from toilet walls or glory holes. Some years ago a famous group of Scottish semenophiliacs carried out an armed robbery of a Glasgow fertility center, making off with several litres of frozen spunk.

Dave: Bertha, this frig is full of little packets of mayonaise, most of which taste a bit musty!

Bertha: Dave, it is time I told you: I have disease, it's called semenophilia, and I am getting help.

Dave: So what about the mayonaise? (he isn't too bright, our Dave)

by Dr Merkin December 28, 2009

coproglutton

Someone who greedily scoffs down faeces.

After Mandy took a big dump I asked her not to flush, cause I was hungry!

You coproglutton!

by Dr Merkin January 24, 2009

tea bag

(n) Tampon.

I knew my girlfriend was menstruating, as I saw the cord of her tea bag.

by Dr Merkin March 13, 2009

Elephant eyes

The scars of male injection drug users who shoot up into their groin

My veins be all gone due to shooting them damn pills, now I got the elephant eyes

by Dr Merkin May 25, 2015

palinanalize

(v) To have anal sex with Governor Sarah Palin. May also refer to having anal sex with author and comedian Michael Palin.

John McCain: Whoa, that Republican cocktail part was wild, I got me some palinanalize action!
Mrs McCain: Gross!

Terry Chapman: I would love to palinanalize you Michael
Michael Palin: Aren't you dead?

by Dr Merkin January 24, 2009

Fosters felch

(n.v.) An Australian sexual practice similar to a regular felch, but instead of eating semen out of a body cavity, involves sucking out beer that has been sprayed into vaginal vault or rectum (usually facilitated by vigorous agitation of beverage can/bottle).

That Cheryl was a wild sheila, I Fosters felched a slab of beer from her butt hole last night!

by Dr Merkin March 14, 2009

ass marking

(n) The practice of spreading one's butt cheeks and wiping one's ring on furniture, car seats, pillows etc. as an act of revenge or prank

Man, your coffee table stinks, who been ass marking it?

by Dr Merkin January 24, 2009