Dr Merkin's definitions

Elephant eyes

The scars of male injection drug users who shoot up into their groin

My veins be all gone due to shooting them damn pills, now I got the elephant eyes

by Dr Merkin May 25, 2015

Menstruating whale snatch

A phrase to describe a large amount of blood, paint, tomato juice, originally coined in the 60s to describe the tomatoe orgy popular in The Village in NY, now used by reporters inveigled by the Thai red shirts.

All these Thai red shirt rioters with their paint, and OMG blood, it's like a menstruating whale snatch, yeah!

That expression captures the overwhelming red so well, I hope it makes it to Urban dicK

by Dr Merkin May 14, 2010

Semenophilia

Noun; Disorder characterised by an overwhelming, intrusive and pathological desire of the sufferer to procure and consume male semen. Usually refers to collection of semen via sexual acts, although victims of the condition may also scrape residue from toilet walls or glory holes. Some years ago a famous group of Scottish semenophiliacs carried out an armed robbery of a Glasgow fertility center, making off with several litres of frozen spunk.

Dave: Bertha, this frig is full of little packets of mayonaise, most of which taste a bit musty!

Bertha: Dave, it is time I told you: I have disease, it's called semenophilia, and I am getting help.

Dave: So what about the mayonaise? (he isn't too bright, our Dave)

by Dr Merkin December 28, 2009

noseinringlingus

Noun: the practice of cunnilingus from the rear approach, ie with the woman on hands and knees, butt facing the licker, and the licking directed to the vagina, usually meaning the nose of the licker becomes lodged in the anus. May progress to anilingus, if the smell and feel appeals.

I was gonna do Donna doggy style but decided to lick her muff from the back and my nose got stuck right in her ripe butt hole

Man you have experienced noseinringlingus!

by Dr Merkin December 28, 2009

Fosters felch

(n.v.) An Australian sexual practice similar to a regular felch, but instead of eating semen out of a body cavity, involves sucking out beer that has been sprayed into vaginal vault or rectum (usually facilitated by vigorous agitation of beverage can/bottle).

That Cheryl was a wild sheila, I Fosters felched a slab of beer from her butt hole last night!

by Dr Merkin March 14, 2009

Coca Cola douche

(n) The practice of rinsing the vaginal vault with a carbonated beverage, such as a cola drink. The can or bottle is usually agitated vigorously post coitus, and the ensuing spray is directed towards the vaginal opening. In the 1950s, prior to availability of the oral contraceptive pill, this was considered a form of birth control, and Coca cola was thought to have some spermicidal properties. Referred to in the song "Coca Cola Douche" by 60s New York band, The Fugs.

Archie: Oh no, my rubber burst!
Betty: Never mind, give me a Coca Cola douche.

by Dr Merkin March 14, 2009

tea bag

(n) Tampon.

I knew my girlfriend was menstruating, as I saw the cord of her tea bag.

by Dr Merkin March 13, 2009