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Whuffo?

(Interrogative, colloq.) African-American English for "Why", or more emphatically, "What for?"

NOTE: The expression "the right word" is the English equivalent of the French "mot juste" -- "n. The perfectly appropriate word or phrase for the situation." -- Wiktionary.
EXAMPLE:

' "I guess that isn't the right word," she said. She was used to apologizing for her use of language. She had been encouraged to do a lot of that in school. Most white people in Midland City were insecure when they spoke, so they kept their sentences short and their words simple, in order to keep embarrassing mistakes to a minimum. Dwayne certainly did that. Patty certainly did that.

' This was because their English teachers would wince and cover their ears and give them flunking grades and so on whenever they failed to speak like English aristocrats before the First World War. Also: they were told that they were unworthy to speak or write their language if they couldn't love or understand incomprehensible novels and plays about people long ago and far away, such as "Ivanhoe".

' The black people would not put up with this. They went on talking English every which way. They refused to read books they couldn't understand -- on the grounds they couldn't understand them. They would ask such impudent questions as, "Whuffo I want to read no "Tale of Two Cities"? Whuffo?

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 15 (page 138).
by Dinkum August 28, 2013
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Nessus shirt

(1) In Greek mythology, the shirt given to Hercules after the poisonous blood of the slain centaur Nessus had been smeared on it .

(2) ' Used allusively, to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence.' -- Oxford English Dictionary {This dictionary is far and away the very best, the most complete dictionary of the English language. See www.oed.com }.

{From the Oxford English Dictionary}:

Nessus, n.

{ ‘ Used allusively in compounds and phrases (as Nessus-robe, Nessus shirt; Nessus' shirt, shirt of Nessus), to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence. }

Etymology: < Nessus (classical Latin Nessus, ancient Greek Νέσσος), the name of the centaur slain by Hercules, in classical mythology, whose blood later poisoned Hercules after he was given a garment smeared with it to wear.
EXAMPLES:

(1) "A shirt with NIKE on it -- OK; a shirt with Nessus on it -- not OK. No Nessus shirt for me." -- Dinkum

(2) Citations collected in the incomparable Oxford English Dictionary:

1616 SHAKESPEARE. "Antony & Cleopatra" (1623) iv. xiii. 43 The shirt of Nessus is vpon me.

1664 THOMAS KILLIGREW. "Parsons Wedding" v. iv, in Comedies & Trag. 153 Take it; would 'twere Nessus his shirt, for you and your Poets sake.

1835 THOMAS CARLYLE. "Lett. to his Wife" (1953) 108 It is now almost my sole rule of life: to clear myself of Cants and formulas, as of poisonous Nessus' shirts.

1905 S. J. WEYMAN. "Starvecrow Farm" xxxii. 297 Remorse is the very shirt of Nessus. It is of all mental pains the worst.

1924 ROBERT GRAVES. "Mock Beggar Hall" 10 The Nessus-robe that beauties wear, Burning away their beauty.

1957 EDITH SITWELL. "Coll. Poems" 414 Then the heart that was the Burning-Bush May change to a Nessus-robe of flame.

1980 PATRICK O'BRIAN. "Surgeon's Mate" vi. 177 A Nessus' shirt might be more apt.
by Dinkum August 24, 2013
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twerp

According to Kurt Vonnegut, a twerp is a guy who:

(1) sticks a set of false teeth up his butt and bites the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (Not to be confused with a "snarf");
(2) hasn't read either Ambrose Bierce's "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" or Alexis de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America".
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)

"And I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read the greatest American short story, which is "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", by Ambrose Bierce. . . . It is a flawless example of American genius, like "Sophisticated Lady" by Duke Ellington or the Franklin stove.

"I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read "Democracy in America" by Alexis de Tocqueville. There can never be a better book than that one on the strengths and vulnerabilities inherent in our form of government."

-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
by Dinkum August 13, 2013
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Saint Sebastian

An early Christian saint and martyr (died c. 288). The Roman emperor Diocletian had Sebastian shot full of arrows. When this failed to kill him, and he continued to be critical of Diocletian, the emperor had him clubbed to death.
EXAMPLE:

' Mary Alice was smiling at a picture of Saint Sebastian, by the Spanish painter El Greco . . . Saint Sebastian was a Roman soldier who had lived seventeen hundred years before . . . He had secretly become a Christian when Christianity was against the law.

' And somebody squealed on him. The Emperor Diocletian had him shot by archers. The picture Mary Alice smiled at with such uncritical bliss showed a human being who was so full of arrows that he looked like a porcupine.

'Something almost nobody knew about Saint Sebastian, incidentally, since painters liked to put so many arrows into him, was that he survived the incident. He actually got well.

' He walked about Rome praising Christianity and bad-mouthing the Emperor, so he was sentenced to death a second time. He was beaten to death by rods.

' And so on. '

--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 19 (Pages 217 - 218).
by Dinkum February 27, 2014
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failure to communicate

A failure to communicate occurs when the lines-of-communication are so broken down that you might as well be attempting to convey information not by means of the spoken word, but rather by some obscure and arcane non-verbal dialect comprised solely of farts and tap dancing.
'The story . . . was entitled "The Dancing Fool." Like so many Kilgore Trout stories, it was about a tragic failure to communicate.

'Here was the plot: A flying saucer creature named Zog arrived on Earth to explain how wars could be prevented and how cancer could be cured. He brought the information from Margo, a planet where the natives conversed by means of farts and tap dancing.

'Zog landed at night in Connecticut. He had no sooner touched down than he saw a house on fire. He rushed into the house, farting and tap dancing, warning the people about the terrible danger they were in. The head of the house brained Zog with a golfclub.'

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 5 (page 58).
by Dinkum September 2, 2013
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armed to the teeth

' To be thoroughly equipped with weapons. ' -- Wiktionary.

To visualize this, just imagine a boarding party of pirates leaping onto the deck of the merchant ship they mean to plunder, each pirate with a dirk clenched firmly between his teeth, each armed with a cutlass and a brace or two of flintlock pistols. (The real-life pirate Blackbeard further jazzed things up by twisting the ends of his bushy black beard into tendrils, which he then dipped into hot tallow. And just before he leaped from his ship onto the hapless merchantman, he would set his improvised candles on fire. The ignited candles transmogrified his face into the terrifying nightmare spectacle of the arch-demon escaped from Hell).
EXAMPLE:

' She was already dressed for the party at the Country Club, already dominating a distinguished company she had yet to join.

' As she handed Paul his cocktail, he felt somehow inadequate, bumbling, in the presence of her beautiful assurance . . .

' The expression "armed to the teeth" occurred to Paul as he looked at her over his glass. With an austere dark gown that left her tanned shoulders and throat bare, a single bit of jewelry on her finger, and very light make-up, Anita had successfully combined the weapons of sex, taste, and an aura of masculine competence.

' She quieted, and turned away under his stare. Inadvertently, he'd gained the upper hand. He had somehow communicated the thought that had bobbed up in his thoughts unexpectedly: that her strength and poise were no more than a mirror image of his own importance, an image of the power and self-satisfaction the manager of the Illium Works could have, if he wanted it. In a fleeting second she became a helpless, bluffing little girl in his thoughts, and he was able to feel real tenderness toward her. '

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1952 novel "Player Piano" -- Chapter IV (page 35).
by Dinkum August 26, 2013
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erectile performance

{n.} The degree to which a male possesses the capacity for raising a flaccid, favorite organ to an upright or distended positon (e.g., a man's "sleeping" penis or -- as is the case with a male sage grouse or frigatebird -- an uninflated gular sac).
EXAMPLE:

' A unique physical feature of male great frigate birds was also bound to attract the attention of immature human males concerned with erectile performances of their own sex organs. Each male great frigate bird at mating time tried to attract the attention of females by inflating a bright red balloon at the base of his throat. At mating time, a typical rookery when viewed from the air resembled an enormous party for human children, at which every child had received a red balloon. The {Galápagos} island would in fact be paved with male great frigate birds with their heads tilted back, their qualifications as husbands inflated by their lungs to the bursting point—while, overhead, the females wheeled.

' One by one the females would drop from the sky, having chosen this or that red balloon.

" After Mary Hepburn showed her film about the great frigate birds, some student, . . . almost invariably a male, was sure to ask, sometimes clinically, sometimes as a comedian, sometimes bitterly, hating and fearing women: "Do the females always try to pick the biggest ones?"

' So Mary was ready with a reply: "To answer that, we would have to interview female great frigate birds, and no one has done that yet, so far as I know. Some people have devoted their lives to studying them, though, and it is their opinion that the females are in fact choosing the red balloons which mark the best nesting sites. " '

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1985 novel "Galápagos" -- Ch. 20 (p. 114).
by Dinkum August 25, 2013
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