29 definitions by Dinkum

A failure to communicate occurs when the lines-of-communication are so broken down that you might as well be attempting to convey information not by means of the spoken word, but rather by some obscure and arcane non-verbal dialect comprised solely of farts and tap dancing.
'The story . . . was entitled "The Dancing Fool." Like so many Kilgore Trout stories, it was about a tragic failure to communicate.

'Here was the plot: A flying saucer creature named Zog arrived on Earth to explain how wars could be prevented and how cancer could be cured. He brought the information from Margo, a planet where the natives conversed by means of farts and tap dancing.

'Zog landed at night in Connecticut. He had no sooner touched down than he saw a house on fire. He rushed into the house, farting and tap dancing, warning the people about the terrible danger they were in. The head of the house brained Zog with a golfclub.'

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 5 (page 58).
by Dinkum July 29, 2013
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' To be thoroughly equipped with weapons. ' -- Wiktionary.

To visualize this, just imagine a boarding party of pirates leaping onto the deck of the merchant ship they mean to plunder, each pirate with a dirk clenched firmly between his teeth, each armed with a cutlass and a brace or two of flintlock pistols. (The real-life pirate Blackbeard further jazzed things up by twisting the ends of his bushy black beard into tendrils, which he then dipped into hot tallow. And just before he leaped from his ship onto the hapless merchantman, he would set his improvised candles on fire. The ignited candles transmogrified his face into the terrifying nightmare spectacle of the arch-demon escaped from Hell).
EXAMPLE:

' She was already dressed for the party at the Country Club, already dominating a distinguished company she had yet to join.

' As she handed Paul his cocktail, he felt somehow inadequate, bumbling, in the presence of her beautiful assurance . . .

' The expression "armed to the teeth" occurred to Paul as he looked at her over his glass. With an austere dark gown that left her tanned shoulders and throat bare, a single bit of jewelry on her finger, and very light make-up, Anita had successfully combined the weapons of sex, taste, and an aura of masculine competence.

' She quieted, and turned away under his stare. Inadvertently, he'd gained the upper hand. He had somehow communicated the thought that had bobbed up in his thoughts unexpectedly: that her strength and poise were no more than a mirror image of his own importance, an image of the power and self-satisfaction the manager of the Illium Works could have, if he wanted it. In a fleeting second she became a helpless, bluffing little girl in his thoughts, and he was able to feel real tenderness toward her. '

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1952 novel "Player Piano" -- Chapter IV (page 35).
by Dinkum August 26, 2013
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-- briefs; underwear worn usually by men. More supportive than boxers.
EXAMPLE:
' My penis was three inches long and five inches in diameter. Its diameter was a world's record as far as I knew. It slumbered now in my Jockey Shorts. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Epilogue (Page 284).
by Dinkum January 18, 2014
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The brand name of a type of household drain cleaner.
EXAMPLE:

' But now Midland City looked unfamiliar and frightening to Dwayne. "Where am I?" he said.

' He even forgot that his wife Celia had committed suicide, for instance, by eating Drano --- a mixture of sodium hydroxide and aluminum flakes, which was meant to clear drains. Celia became a small volcano, since she was composed of the same sorts of substances which commonly clogged drains. '

--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 6 (Page 65).
by Dinkum February 15, 2014
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A guy who derives pleasure from running around sniffing girls' bicycle seats. (Not to be confused with a "twerp").
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)

-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
by Dinkum July 8, 2013
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(1) ' The national anthem of the United States, based on the poem, "Defence of Fort McHenry", written in 1814 by the 35-year-old lawyer and amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, who witnessed the British Royal Navy's Chesapeake Bay bombardment of Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. The poem -- set to the tune of a popular British song, and renamed "The Star-Spangled Banner" -- soon became a well-known American patriotic song. With a range of one and a half octaves, it is known for being difficult to sing. Although the poem has four stanzas, only the first is commonly sung today. "The Star-Spangled Banner" was recognized for official use by the Navy in 1889, and by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916, and was made the national anthem by a congressional resolution on March 3, 1931 (46 Stat. 1508, codified at 36 U.S.C. § 301), which was signed by President Herbert Hoover. ' -- Wikipedia

(2) According to Kurt Vonnegut, the American national anthem is "pure balderdash", "gibberish sprinkled with question marks". (Which still doesn't prevent me from waxing sentimental over "Old Spangles", but then again I remain fond of ""Waltzing Matilda" -- once called "the unofficial national anthem of Australia" -- the jolly swagman's song now axed by the newly prim-and-proper Ozzies). -- Dinkum
EXAMPLE:

' Trout and Hoover were citizens of the United States of America, a country which was called America for short. This was their national anthem, which was pure balderdash, like so much they were expected to take seriously:

' "O, say can you see by the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's

last gleaming,

Whose broad stripes and bright stars,

thru the perilous fight

O'er the ramparts we watched were so

gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs

bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our

flag was still there.

O, say does that star-spangled banner

yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home

of the brave?"

' There were one quadrillion nations in the Universe, but the nation Dwayne Hoover and Kilgore Trout belonged to was the only one with a national anthem which was gibberish sprinkled with question marks. '

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 1 (pages 7 - 8).
by Dinkum August 19, 2013
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(1) ' n. A large wading bird with long legs and a long beak of the family Ciconiidae. ' -- Wiktionary

(2) ' According to European folklore, the stork is responsible for bringing babies to new parents. The legend is very ancient, but was popularised by a 19th-century Hans Christian Andersen story called "The Storks". '

-- Wikipedia { en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Stork#Storks_and_childbirth }
EXAMPLE:

' Harry's wife, Grace, was stretched out on a chaise longue . . . She was smoking a small cigar in a long holder made from the legbone of a stork. A stork was a large European bird, about half the size of a Bermuda Ern. Children who wanted to know where babies came from were sometimes told that they were brought by storks. People who told their children such a thing felt that their children were too young to think intelligently about {sex}.

' And there were actually pictures of storks delivering babies on birth announcements and in cartoons and so on, for children to see . . .

' Dwayne Hoover and Harry LeSabre saw pictures like that when they were very little boys. They believed them, too. '

-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 15 (pages 162 - 163).
by Dinkum August 28, 2013
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