Dinkum's definitions
According to Kurt Vonnegut, a twerp is a guy who:
(1) sticks a set of false teeth up his butt and bites the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (Not to be confused with a "snarf");
(2) hasn't read either Ambrose Bierce's "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" or Alexis de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America".
(1) sticks a set of false teeth up his butt and bites the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (Not to be confused with a "snarf");
(2) hasn't read either Ambrose Bierce's "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" or Alexis de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America".
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)
"And I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read the greatest American short story, which is "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", by Ambrose Bierce. . . . It is a flawless example of American genius, like "Sophisticated Lady" by Duke Ellington or the Franklin stove.
"I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read "Democracy in America" by Alexis de Tocqueville. There can never be a better book than that one on the strengths and vulnerabilities inherent in our form of government."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
"And I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read the greatest American short story, which is "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", by Ambrose Bierce. . . . It is a flawless example of American genius, like "Sophisticated Lady" by Duke Ellington or the Franklin stove.
"I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read "Democracy in America" by Alexis de Tocqueville. There can never be a better book than that one on the strengths and vulnerabilities inherent in our form of government."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
by Dinkum August 13, 2013
Get the twerp mug.(1) In Greek mythology, the shirt given to Hercules after the poisonous blood of the slain centaur Nessus had been smeared on it .
(2) ' Used allusively, to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence.' -- Oxford English Dictionary {This dictionary is far and away the very best, the most complete dictionary of the English language. See www.oed.com }.
{From the Oxford English Dictionary}:
Nessus, n.
{ ‘ Used allusively in compounds and phrases (as Nessus-robe, Nessus shirt; Nessus' shirt, shirt of Nessus), to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence. }
Etymology: < Nessus (classical Latin Nessus, ancient Greek Νέσσος), the name of the centaur slain by Hercules, in classical mythology, whose blood later poisoned Hercules after he was given a garment smeared with it to wear.
(2) ' Used allusively, to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence.' -- Oxford English Dictionary {This dictionary is far and away the very best, the most complete dictionary of the English language. See www.oed.com }.
{From the Oxford English Dictionary}:
Nessus, n.
{ ‘ Used allusively in compounds and phrases (as Nessus-robe, Nessus shirt; Nessus' shirt, shirt of Nessus), to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence. }
Etymology: < Nessus (classical Latin Nessus, ancient Greek Νέσσος), the name of the centaur slain by Hercules, in classical mythology, whose blood later poisoned Hercules after he was given a garment smeared with it to wear.
EXAMPLES:
(1) "A shirt with NIKE on it -- OK; a shirt with Nessus on it -- not OK. No Nessus shirt for me." -- Dinkum
(2) Citations collected in the incomparable Oxford English Dictionary:
1616 SHAKESPEARE. "Antony & Cleopatra" (1623) iv. xiii. 43 The shirt of Nessus is vpon me.
1664 THOMAS KILLIGREW. "Parsons Wedding" v. iv, in Comedies & Trag. 153 Take it; would 'twere Nessus his shirt, for you and your Poets sake.
1835 THOMAS CARLYLE. "Lett. to his Wife" (1953) 108 It is now almost my sole rule of life: to clear myself of Cants and formulas, as of poisonous Nessus' shirts.
1905 S. J. WEYMAN. "Starvecrow Farm" xxxii. 297 Remorse is the very shirt of Nessus. It is of all mental pains the worst.
1924 ROBERT GRAVES. "Mock Beggar Hall" 10 The Nessus-robe that beauties wear, Burning away their beauty.
1957 EDITH SITWELL. "Coll. Poems" 414 Then the heart that was the Burning-Bush May change to a Nessus-robe of flame.
1980 PATRICK O'BRIAN. "Surgeon's Mate" vi. 177 A Nessus' shirt might be more apt.
(1) "A shirt with NIKE on it -- OK; a shirt with Nessus on it -- not OK. No Nessus shirt for me." -- Dinkum
(2) Citations collected in the incomparable Oxford English Dictionary:
1616 SHAKESPEARE. "Antony & Cleopatra" (1623) iv. xiii. 43 The shirt of Nessus is vpon me.
1664 THOMAS KILLIGREW. "Parsons Wedding" v. iv, in Comedies & Trag. 153 Take it; would 'twere Nessus his shirt, for you and your Poets sake.
1835 THOMAS CARLYLE. "Lett. to his Wife" (1953) 108 It is now almost my sole rule of life: to clear myself of Cants and formulas, as of poisonous Nessus' shirts.
1905 S. J. WEYMAN. "Starvecrow Farm" xxxii. 297 Remorse is the very shirt of Nessus. It is of all mental pains the worst.
1924 ROBERT GRAVES. "Mock Beggar Hall" 10 The Nessus-robe that beauties wear, Burning away their beauty.
1957 EDITH SITWELL. "Coll. Poems" 414 Then the heart that was the Burning-Bush May change to a Nessus-robe of flame.
1980 PATRICK O'BRIAN. "Surgeon's Mate" vi. 177 A Nessus' shirt might be more apt.
by Dinkum August 24, 2013
Get the Nessus shirt mug.November 11, formerly observed in the United States in commemoration of the signing of the armistice ending World War I in 1918. Since 1954 it has been incorporated into the observances of Veterans Day.
-- American Heritage Dictionary, 4th Edition
-- American Heritage Dictionary, 4th Edition
EXAMPLE:
"So this book is a sidewalk strewn with junk, trash which I throw over my shoulders as I travel in time back to November eleventh, nineteen hundred and twenty-two.
"I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy . . . all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.
"It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.
"Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not.
"So I will throw Veterans' Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don't want to throw away any sacred things.
"What else is sacred? Oh, "Romeo and Juliet", for instance.
"And all music is."
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Preface (page 6).
"So this book is a sidewalk strewn with junk, trash which I throw over my shoulders as I travel in time back to November eleventh, nineteen hundred and twenty-two.
"I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy . . . all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.
"It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.
"Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not.
"So I will throw Veterans' Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don't want to throw away any sacred things.
"What else is sacred? Oh, "Romeo and Juliet", for instance.
"And all music is."
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Preface (page 6).
by Dinkum September 3, 2013
Get the Armistice Day mug.A common delusion afflicting the self-styled "nice girl" (who may be either male or female), which consists of the mistaken belief that he/she is soooo superior to the "great unwashed" masses that he/she is excused from the indignity of being subject to the same natural bodily functions as the rest of us. One specific sense of the word denotes sexual frigidity -- i.e., "nice girls" don't have orgasms; they only submit to sexual intercourse in order to fulfill their duty to God and Country.
The girl acts as though she had a Tastee Freez dispenser up her butt. Pretends the thought of having sex has never entered her mind. Yeah, right, and nice girls shit ice cream.
by Dinkum August 12, 2013
Get the Nice girls shit ice cream. mug.A person suffering from or subject to coprolalia, the obsessive and uncontrollable use of scatological language. (Compare with such like back-formations as insomnia and insomniac; hypochondria and hypochondriac; coprophagia and coprophagiac; coprophilia and coprophiliac).
The "jailin' it" droopy-drawers doofus was a COPROLALIAC: he suffered from "the Black man's disease", the utter inability to assemble even the simplest English sentence without lavishly larding his utterances with a plethora of "fuckers", "motherfuckers", "motherfucking", . . . and, well, you get the picture. It was almost as if "motherfucker" was the only word he knew and he was bound and determined to make the most of it -- as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, an imperative, and, of course, as an interjection! Yeah, good ol' Droopy Drawers, he's cheesin' it as he's sleazin' it -- he's a real kool kitty, a regular "copro-cat".
by Dinkum September 2, 2013
Get the Coprolaliac mug.(1) According to Kurt Vonnegut, the Founding Fathers were marauding "sea pirates" (read: white Europeans), who "founded" new nations in North, Central, and South America by displacing or exterminating the indigenous inhabitants.
(2) ' The Founding Fathers of the United States of America were political leaders and statesmen who participated in the American Revolution by signing the United States Declaration of Independence, taking part in the American Revolutionary War, and establishing the United States Constitution.
' Many of the Founding Fathers owned African American slaves, and the Constitution adopted in 1787 sanctioned the system of slavery.
' Some historians define the "Founding Fathers" to mean a larger group, including not only the Signers and the Framers but also all those who, whether as politicians, jurists, statesmen, soldiers, diplomats, or ordinary citizens, took part in winning American independence and creating the United States of America.' -- Wikipedia
(2) ' The Founding Fathers of the United States of America were political leaders and statesmen who participated in the American Revolution by signing the United States Declaration of Independence, taking part in the American Revolutionary War, and establishing the United States Constitution.
' Many of the Founding Fathers owned African American slaves, and the Constitution adopted in 1787 sanctioned the system of slavery.
' Some historians define the "Founding Fathers" to mean a larger group, including not only the Signers and the Framers but also all those who, whether as politicians, jurists, statesmen, soldiers, diplomats, or ordinary citizens, took part in winning American independence and creating the United States of America.' -- Wikipedia
EXAMPLE:
' A lot of the nonsense was the innocent result of playfulness on the part of the founding fathers. But some of the nonsense was evil, since it concealed great crimes. For example, {U. S.} teachers wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy:
' = 1492 =
' The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them.
' Here was another piece of evil nonsense which children were taught: that the sea pirates eventually created a government which became a beacon of freedom to human beings everywhere else. There were pictures and statues of this supposed imaginary beacon for children to see. It was sort of an ice-cream cone on fire.
' Actually, the sea pirates who had the most to do with the creation of the new government owned human slaves. They used human beings for machinery.
' The sea pirates were white. The people who were already on the continent when the pirates arrived were copper-colored. When slavery was introduced onto the continent, the slaves were black.
' Color was everything. '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 1 (page 10 - 11).
' A lot of the nonsense was the innocent result of playfulness on the part of the founding fathers. But some of the nonsense was evil, since it concealed great crimes. For example, {U. S.} teachers wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy:
' = 1492 =
' The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them.
' Here was another piece of evil nonsense which children were taught: that the sea pirates eventually created a government which became a beacon of freedom to human beings everywhere else. There were pictures and statues of this supposed imaginary beacon for children to see. It was sort of an ice-cream cone on fire.
' Actually, the sea pirates who had the most to do with the creation of the new government owned human slaves. They used human beings for machinery.
' The sea pirates were white. The people who were already on the continent when the pirates arrived were copper-colored. When slavery was introduced onto the continent, the slaves were black.
' Color was everything. '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 1 (page 10 - 11).
by Dinkum August 21, 2013
Get the Founding Fathers mug.(1) Any doomsday catalyst; any precipitator which brings about cataclysmic, apocalyptic change -- yes, Virginia, THE END of the world, Armageddon, "that's all she wrote", APOCALYPTIC #FAIL!
(2) The Unholy Grail of overzealous scientists who in the thoughtless pursuit of "pure science" unwittingly create a doomsday device.
(3) Specifically, the fictional doomsday catalyst envisioned by Kurt Vonnegut in his novel "Cat's Cradle." Ironically, the inventor of Vonnegut's "ice-nine" never intended his creation to be used as a doomsday device; this shortsighted scientist only foresaw "ice-nine" being used for the ploddingly pedestrian purpose of making it possible for combat Marines to march over mud in much the same manner that Jesus is said to have come striding across the tempest-tossed waves of the Sea of Galilee (Matthew 14:24).
(2) The Unholy Grail of overzealous scientists who in the thoughtless pursuit of "pure science" unwittingly create a doomsday device.
(3) Specifically, the fictional doomsday catalyst envisioned by Kurt Vonnegut in his novel "Cat's Cradle." Ironically, the inventor of Vonnegut's "ice-nine" never intended his creation to be used as a doomsday device; this shortsighted scientist only foresaw "ice-nine" being used for the ploddingly pedestrian purpose of making it possible for combat Marines to march over mud in much the same manner that Jesus is said to have come striding across the tempest-tossed waves of the Sea of Galilee (Matthew 14:24).
EXAMPLES:
(1) ' "Suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, "there were many possible ways water could freeze. Suppose the ice we skate upon -- what we might call ice-one -- is only one type of ice. Suppose water always froze as ice-one because it had never had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four? Suppose there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- with a melting point of 130 degrees. " '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 20
(2) ' Breed asked me to think of Marines in a swamp.
' "Their trucks are sinking in ooze."
' He winked. "But suppose one Marine had a capsule containing a seed of ice-nine, a new way for the atoms of water to stack and lock, to freeze. If that Marine threw that seed into the nearest puddle . . . ?"
' "The puddle would freeze?" I guessed.
' "And all the puddles . . .?"
' "They would freeze?"
' "You bet they would!" he cried. "And the Marines would rise from the swamp and march on!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 21
(3) ' "I keep thinking about that swamp" I said. "If the streams flowing through the swamp froze as ice-nine, what about the rivers and lakes the streams fed?"
' "They'd freeze."
' "And the oceans . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, of course," Dr. Breed snapped.
' "And the springs . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, damn it!" he cried.
' "And the rain?"
' "When it fell, it would freeze into hard little hobnails of ice-nine -- and that would be the end of the world!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 22
(1) ' "Suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, "there were many possible ways water could freeze. Suppose the ice we skate upon -- what we might call ice-one -- is only one type of ice. Suppose water always froze as ice-one because it had never had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four? Suppose there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- with a melting point of 130 degrees. " '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 20
(2) ' Breed asked me to think of Marines in a swamp.
' "Their trucks are sinking in ooze."
' He winked. "But suppose one Marine had a capsule containing a seed of ice-nine, a new way for the atoms of water to stack and lock, to freeze. If that Marine threw that seed into the nearest puddle . . . ?"
' "The puddle would freeze?" I guessed.
' "And all the puddles . . .?"
' "They would freeze?"
' "You bet they would!" he cried. "And the Marines would rise from the swamp and march on!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 21
(3) ' "I keep thinking about that swamp" I said. "If the streams flowing through the swamp froze as ice-nine, what about the rivers and lakes the streams fed?"
' "They'd freeze."
' "And the oceans . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, of course," Dr. Breed snapped.
' "And the springs . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, damn it!" he cried.
' "And the rain?"
' "When it fell, it would freeze into hard little hobnails of ice-nine -- and that would be the end of the world!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 22
by Dinkum August 20, 2013
Get the Ice-nine mug.