Dinkum's definitions
A voluble, involuntary speech impairment that the political animal inflicts upon his hearing audience. When asked for the truth, he invariably responds with bullshit -- i.e., "fartspeak," which is usually not so elevated a form of discourse as to qualify either as "bullshit artistry" or as "spin doctoring."
"This is a guy who does congressional hearings, said Cessy. "I'm surprised he's letting it get under his skin."
"It's because he's lying," said Reuben.
"Oh, come on. Like they {{ the military brass }} don't lie to Congress."
"They {{ these military asshats }} spin to Congress."
"Well, he's spinning this, too, isn't he? 'I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.' That's FARTSPEAK for 'I said it, you jerk, but you weren't supposed to tell.'"
"'Fartspeak'?"
"That's what we called it on the hill {{ Capitol Hill }}, said Cessy.
-- Orson Scott Card,
in "Empire", Chapter 10 -- "Fair and Balanced",
on page 140.
"It's because he's lying," said Reuben.
"Oh, come on. Like they {{ the military brass }} don't lie to Congress."
"They {{ these military asshats }} spin to Congress."
"Well, he's spinning this, too, isn't he? 'I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.' That's FARTSPEAK for 'I said it, you jerk, but you weren't supposed to tell.'"
"'Fartspeak'?"
"That's what we called it on the hill {{ Capitol Hill }}, said Cessy.
-- Orson Scott Card,
in "Empire", Chapter 10 -- "Fair and Balanced",
on page 140.
by Dinkum July 1, 2013
Get the fartspeakmug. ' A scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
EXAMPLE:
' In 1972, Trout . . . made his living as an installer of aluminum combination storm windows and screens. He had nothing to do with the sales end of the business -- because he had no charm. Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
' Dwayne Hoover had oodles of charm.
' I can have oodles of charm when I want to.
' A lot of people have oodles of charm. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
' In 1972, Trout . . . made his living as an installer of aluminum combination storm windows and screens. He had nothing to do with the sales end of the business -- because he had no charm. Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
' Dwayne Hoover had oodles of charm.
' I can have oodles of charm when I want to.
' A lot of people have oodles of charm. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
by Dinkum December 7, 2013
Get the charmmug. A guy who derives pleasure from running around sniffing girls' bicycle seats. (Not to be confused with a "twerp").
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
by Dinkum August 13, 2013
Get the snarfmug. A Christian saint from Egypt (ca. 251–356). One of the "Desert Fathers," St. Anthony is considered by some to be "The Father of All Monks." The "temptation of Saint Anthony" has long been a favorite subject of Catholic art.
EXAMPLE:
' I made a . . . duplicate on my Formica tabletop of a painting by Rabo Karabekian, entitled "The Temptation of Saint Anthony."
' . . . I had Beatrice Keedsler say to Rabo Karabekian, "This is a dreadful confession, but I don't even know who Saint Anthony was. Who was he, and why should anybody have wanted to tempt him?"
' I don't know, and I would hate to find out," said Karabekian . . .
' . . . Saint Anthony, incidentally, was an Egyptian who founded the very first monastery, which was a place where men could live simple lives and pray often to the Creator of the Universe, without the distractions of ambition and sex and yeast excrement { Vonnegut's neologism for "alcohol" }. Saint Anthony himself sold everything he had when he was young, and he went out into the wilderness and lived alone for twenty years.
' He was often tempted during all those years of perfect solitude by visions of good times he might have had with food and men and women and children and the marketplace and so on. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday."Chapter 19 (Pages 207, 209, 211 - 212).
' I made a . . . duplicate on my Formica tabletop of a painting by Rabo Karabekian, entitled "The Temptation of Saint Anthony."
' . . . I had Beatrice Keedsler say to Rabo Karabekian, "This is a dreadful confession, but I don't even know who Saint Anthony was. Who was he, and why should anybody have wanted to tempt him?"
' I don't know, and I would hate to find out," said Karabekian . . .
' . . . Saint Anthony, incidentally, was an Egyptian who founded the very first monastery, which was a place where men could live simple lives and pray often to the Creator of the Universe, without the distractions of ambition and sex and yeast excrement { Vonnegut's neologism for "alcohol" }. Saint Anthony himself sold everything he had when he was young, and he went out into the wilderness and lived alone for twenty years.
' He was often tempted during all those years of perfect solitude by visions of good times he might have had with food and men and women and children and the marketplace and so on. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday."Chapter 19 (Pages 207, 209, 211 - 212).
by Dinkum February 27, 2014
Get the Saint Anthonymug. (1) The trademarked slogan for the General Mills breakfast cereal "Wheaties", a product that has been marketed since 1924.
(2) The title of Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye Blue Monday".
(3) A ironically humorous expression that is used to indicate a food or beverage that isn't very good for you.
(2) The title of Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye Blue Monday".
(3) A ironically humorous expression that is used to indicate a food or beverage that isn't very good for you.
EXAMPLE of senses (1) and (2) :
' The expression "Breakfast of Champions" is a registered trademark of General Mills, Inc., for use on a breakfast cereal product. The use of the identical expression as the title for this book is not intended to indicate an association with or sponsorship by General Mills, nor is it intended to disparage their fine products.'
-- Kurt Vonnegut, being ironical on page 1 of the Preface to his 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions", a tongue-in-cheek admonition he repeats verbatim in Chapter 18 (on page 195).
EXAMPLE of sense (3):
' I now had Bonnie MacMahon, bring more yeast excrement to . . . Karabekian. Karabekian's drink was a Beefeater's dry martini with a twist of lemon peel, so Bonnie said to him, "Breakfast of Champions."
' "That's what you said when you brought me my first martini," said Karabekian.
' "I say that every time I give anybody a martini," said Bonnie.
' Doesn't that get tiresome?" said Karabekian. "Or maybe that's why people found cities in Godforsaken places like this -- so that they can make the same jokes over and over again, until the Bright Angel of Death stops their mouths with ashes."
' "I just try to cheer people up," said Bonnie. "If that's a crime, I never heard about it till now. I'll stop saying it from now on. I beg your pardon. I did not mean to give offense." '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions", Chapter 19 (pages 208 - 211).
' The expression "Breakfast of Champions" is a registered trademark of General Mills, Inc., for use on a breakfast cereal product. The use of the identical expression as the title for this book is not intended to indicate an association with or sponsorship by General Mills, nor is it intended to disparage their fine products.'
-- Kurt Vonnegut, being ironical on page 1 of the Preface to his 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions", a tongue-in-cheek admonition he repeats verbatim in Chapter 18 (on page 195).
EXAMPLE of sense (3):
' I now had Bonnie MacMahon, bring more yeast excrement to . . . Karabekian. Karabekian's drink was a Beefeater's dry martini with a twist of lemon peel, so Bonnie said to him, "Breakfast of Champions."
' "That's what you said when you brought me my first martini," said Karabekian.
' "I say that every time I give anybody a martini," said Bonnie.
' Doesn't that get tiresome?" said Karabekian. "Or maybe that's why people found cities in Godforsaken places like this -- so that they can make the same jokes over and over again, until the Bright Angel of Death stops their mouths with ashes."
' "I just try to cheer people up," said Bonnie. "If that's a crime, I never heard about it till now. I'll stop saying it from now on. I beg your pardon. I did not mean to give offense." '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions", Chapter 19 (pages 208 - 211).
by Dinkum September 2, 2013
Get the Breakfast of Championsmug. A military academy. Or, as more loosely used, any kind of strict educational institution where, you -- the conscriptee -- can expect to receive lots and lots of discipline. Enrollment in such a hellhole is something parents (especially fathers) use to threaten their unruly or nonconformist sons.
EXAMPLE:
' Bunny was sent away to military school, an institution devoted to homicide and absolutely humorless obedience, when he was only ten years old. Here is why: He told { his father } Dwayne that he wished he were a woman instead of a man, because what men did was so often cruel and ugly.
' Listen: Bunny Hoover went to Prairie Military Academy for eight years of uninterrupted sports, buggery and Fascism. Buggery consisted of sticking one's penis in somebody else's asshole or mouth, or having it done to one by somebody else. Fascism was a fairly popular political philosophy which made sacred whatever nation and race the philosopher happened to belong to. It called for an autocratic, centralized government, headed up by a dictator. The dictator had to be obeyed, no matter what he told somebody to do. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 17 (Pages 179 - 180).
' Bunny was sent away to military school, an institution devoted to homicide and absolutely humorless obedience, when he was only ten years old. Here is why: He told { his father } Dwayne that he wished he were a woman instead of a man, because what men did was so often cruel and ugly.
' Listen: Bunny Hoover went to Prairie Military Academy for eight years of uninterrupted sports, buggery and Fascism. Buggery consisted of sticking one's penis in somebody else's asshole or mouth, or having it done to one by somebody else. Fascism was a fairly popular political philosophy which made sacred whatever nation and race the philosopher happened to belong to. It called for an autocratic, centralized government, headed up by a dictator. The dictator had to be obeyed, no matter what he told somebody to do. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 17 (Pages 179 - 180).
by Dinkum February 24, 2014
Get the military schoolmug. (1) In Greek mythology, the shirt given to Hercules after the poisonous blood of the slain centaur Nessus had been smeared on it .
(2) ' Used allusively, to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence.' -- Oxford English Dictionary {This dictionary is far and away the very best, the most complete dictionary of the English language. See www.oed.com }.
{From the Oxford English Dictionary}:
Nessus, n.
{ ‘ Used allusively in compounds and phrases (as Nessus-robe, Nessus shirt; Nessus' shirt, shirt of Nessus), to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence. }
Etymology: < Nessus (classical Latin Nessus, ancient Greek Νέσσος), the name of the centaur slain by Hercules, in classical mythology, whose blood later poisoned Hercules after he was given a garment smeared with it to wear.
(2) ' Used allusively, to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence.' -- Oxford English Dictionary {This dictionary is far and away the very best, the most complete dictionary of the English language. See www.oed.com }.
{From the Oxford English Dictionary}:
Nessus, n.
{ ‘ Used allusively in compounds and phrases (as Nessus-robe, Nessus shirt; Nessus' shirt, shirt of Nessus), to denote any destructive or expiatory force or influence. }
Etymology: < Nessus (classical Latin Nessus, ancient Greek Νέσσος), the name of the centaur slain by Hercules, in classical mythology, whose blood later poisoned Hercules after he was given a garment smeared with it to wear.
EXAMPLES:
(1) "A shirt with NIKE on it -- OK; a shirt with Nessus on it -- not OK. No Nessus shirt for me." -- Dinkum
(2) Citations collected in the incomparable Oxford English Dictionary:
1616 SHAKESPEARE. "Antony & Cleopatra" (1623) iv. xiii. 43 The shirt of Nessus is vpon me.
1664 THOMAS KILLIGREW. "Parsons Wedding" v. iv, in Comedies & Trag. 153 Take it; would 'twere Nessus his shirt, for you and your Poets sake.
1835 THOMAS CARLYLE. "Lett. to his Wife" (1953) 108 It is now almost my sole rule of life: to clear myself of Cants and formulas, as of poisonous Nessus' shirts.
1905 S. J. WEYMAN. "Starvecrow Farm" xxxii. 297 Remorse is the very shirt of Nessus. It is of all mental pains the worst.
1924 ROBERT GRAVES. "Mock Beggar Hall" 10 The Nessus-robe that beauties wear, Burning away their beauty.
1957 EDITH SITWELL. "Coll. Poems" 414 Then the heart that was the Burning-Bush May change to a Nessus-robe of flame.
1980 PATRICK O'BRIAN. "Surgeon's Mate" vi. 177 A Nessus' shirt might be more apt.
(1) "A shirt with NIKE on it -- OK; a shirt with Nessus on it -- not OK. No Nessus shirt for me." -- Dinkum
(2) Citations collected in the incomparable Oxford English Dictionary:
1616 SHAKESPEARE. "Antony & Cleopatra" (1623) iv. xiii. 43 The shirt of Nessus is vpon me.
1664 THOMAS KILLIGREW. "Parsons Wedding" v. iv, in Comedies & Trag. 153 Take it; would 'twere Nessus his shirt, for you and your Poets sake.
1835 THOMAS CARLYLE. "Lett. to his Wife" (1953) 108 It is now almost my sole rule of life: to clear myself of Cants and formulas, as of poisonous Nessus' shirts.
1905 S. J. WEYMAN. "Starvecrow Farm" xxxii. 297 Remorse is the very shirt of Nessus. It is of all mental pains the worst.
1924 ROBERT GRAVES. "Mock Beggar Hall" 10 The Nessus-robe that beauties wear, Burning away their beauty.
1957 EDITH SITWELL. "Coll. Poems" 414 Then the heart that was the Burning-Bush May change to a Nessus-robe of flame.
1980 PATRICK O'BRIAN. "Surgeon's Mate" vi. 177 A Nessus' shirt might be more apt.
by Dinkum August 24, 2013
Get the Nessus shirtmug.