29 definitions by Dinkum
An early Christian saint and martyr (died c. 288). The Roman emperor Diocletian had Sebastian shot full of arrows. When this failed to kill him, and he continued to be critical of Diocletian, the emperor had him clubbed to death.
EXAMPLE:
' Mary Alice was smiling at a picture of Saint Sebastian, by the Spanish painter El Greco . . . Saint Sebastian was a Roman soldier who had lived seventeen hundred years before . . . He had secretly become a Christian when Christianity was against the law.
' And somebody squealed on him. The Emperor Diocletian had him shot by archers. The picture Mary Alice smiled at with such uncritical bliss showed a human being who was so full of arrows that he looked like a porcupine.
'Something almost nobody knew about Saint Sebastian, incidentally, since painters liked to put so many arrows into him, was that he survived the incident. He actually got well.
' He walked about Rome praising Christianity and bad-mouthing the Emperor, so he was sentenced to death a second time. He was beaten to death by rods.
' And so on. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 19 (Pages 217 - 218).
' Mary Alice was smiling at a picture of Saint Sebastian, by the Spanish painter El Greco . . . Saint Sebastian was a Roman soldier who had lived seventeen hundred years before . . . He had secretly become a Christian when Christianity was against the law.
' And somebody squealed on him. The Emperor Diocletian had him shot by archers. The picture Mary Alice smiled at with such uncritical bliss showed a human being who was so full of arrows that he looked like a porcupine.
'Something almost nobody knew about Saint Sebastian, incidentally, since painters liked to put so many arrows into him, was that he survived the incident. He actually got well.
' He walked about Rome praising Christianity and bad-mouthing the Emperor, so he was sentenced to death a second time. He was beaten to death by rods.
' And so on. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 19 (Pages 217 - 218).
by Dinkum February 22, 2014
A Christian saint from Egypt (ca. 251–356). One of the "Desert Fathers," St. Anthony is considered by some to be "The Father of All Monks." The "temptation of Saint Anthony" has long been a favorite subject of Catholic art.
EXAMPLE:
' I made a . . . duplicate on my Formica tabletop of a painting by Rabo Karabekian, entitled "The Temptation of Saint Anthony."
' . . . I had Beatrice Keedsler say to Rabo Karabekian, "This is a dreadful confession, but I don't even know who Saint Anthony was. Who was he, and why should anybody have wanted to tempt him?"
' I don't know, and I would hate to find out," said Karabekian . . .
' . . . Saint Anthony, incidentally, was an Egyptian who founded the very first monastery, which was a place where men could live simple lives and pray often to the Creator of the Universe, without the distractions of ambition and sex and yeast excrement { Vonnegut's neologism for "alcohol" }. Saint Anthony himself sold everything he had when he was young, and he went out into the wilderness and lived alone for twenty years.
' He was often tempted during all those years of perfect solitude by visions of good times he might have had with food and men and women and children and the marketplace and so on. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday."Chapter 19 (Pages 207, 209, 211 - 212).
' I made a . . . duplicate on my Formica tabletop of a painting by Rabo Karabekian, entitled "The Temptation of Saint Anthony."
' . . . I had Beatrice Keedsler say to Rabo Karabekian, "This is a dreadful confession, but I don't even know who Saint Anthony was. Who was he, and why should anybody have wanted to tempt him?"
' I don't know, and I would hate to find out," said Karabekian . . .
' . . . Saint Anthony, incidentally, was an Egyptian who founded the very first monastery, which was a place where men could live simple lives and pray often to the Creator of the Universe, without the distractions of ambition and sex and yeast excrement { Vonnegut's neologism for "alcohol" }. Saint Anthony himself sold everything he had when he was young, and he went out into the wilderness and lived alone for twenty years.
' He was often tempted during all those years of perfect solitude by visions of good times he might have had with food and men and women and children and the marketplace and so on. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday."Chapter 19 (Pages 207, 209, 211 - 212).
by Dinkum February 22, 2014
A person suffering from or subject to coprolalia, the obsessive and uncontrollable use of scatological language. (Compare with such like back-formations as insomnia and insomniac; hypochondria and hypochondriac; coprophagia and coprophagiac; coprophilia and coprophiliac).
The "jailin' it" droopy-drawers doofus was a COPROLALIAC: he suffered from "the Black man's disease", the utter inability to assemble even the simplest English sentence without lavishly larding his utterances with a plethora of "fuckers", "motherfuckers", "motherfucking", . . . and, well, you get the picture. It was almost as if "motherfucker" was the only word he knew and he was bound and determined to make the most of it -- as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, an imperative, and, of course, as an interjection! Yeah, good ol' Droopy Drawers, he's cheesin' it as he's sleazin' it -- he's a real kool kitty, a regular "copro-cat".
by Dinkum July 29, 2013
' A scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
EXAMPLE:
' In 1972, Trout . . . made his living as an installer of aluminum combination storm windows and screens. He had nothing to do with the sales end of the business -- because he had no charm. Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
' Dwayne Hoover had oodles of charm.
' I can have oodles of charm when I want to.
' A lot of people have oodles of charm. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
' In 1972, Trout . . . made his living as an installer of aluminum combination storm windows and screens. He had nothing to do with the sales end of the business -- because he had no charm. Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
' Dwayne Hoover had oodles of charm.
' I can have oodles of charm when I want to.
' A lot of people have oodles of charm. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 2 (Page 20).
by Dinkum December 7, 2013
KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) is a fast food restaurant chain which specializes in fried chicken. The first "Kentucky Fried Chicken" franchise opened in 1952. KFC was founded by Harland Sanders. By branding himself as "Colonel Sanders", Harland Sanders became a legendary figure of American cultural history, and his image remains prominent in KFC advertising. The company is famous for the "It's finger lickin' good" slogan, which originated in the 1950s. The trademark on that slogan expired in the United States in 2006. In 2011, the "finger lickin' good" slogan was dropped in favor of "So good".
EXAMPLE:
"Here was the problem: Dwayne wanted Francine to love him for his body and soul, not for what his money could buy. He thought Francine was hinting that he should buy her a Colonel Sanders Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise, which was a scheme for selling fried chicken.
"A chicken was a flightless bird . . . The idea was to kill it and pull out all its feathers, and cut off its head and feet and scoop out its internal organs -- and then chop it into pieces and fry the pieces, and put the pieces in a waxed paper bucket with a lid on it . . ."
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 15 (page 157 - 158).
"Here was the problem: Dwayne wanted Francine to love him for his body and soul, not for what his money could buy. He thought Francine was hinting that he should buy her a Colonel Sanders Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise, which was a scheme for selling fried chicken.
"A chicken was a flightless bird . . . The idea was to kill it and pull out all its feathers, and cut off its head and feet and scoop out its internal organs -- and then chop it into pieces and fry the pieces, and put the pieces in a waxed paper bucket with a lid on it . . ."
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 15 (page 157 - 158).
by Dinkum July 31, 2013
(1) Any doomsday catalyst; any precipitator which brings about cataclysmic, apocalyptic change -- yes, Virginia, THE END of the world, Armageddon, "that's all she wrote", APOCALYPTIC #FAIL!
(2) The Unholy Grail of overzealous scientists who in the thoughtless pursuit of "pure science" unwittingly create a doomsday device.
(3) Specifically, the fictional doomsday catalyst envisioned by Kurt Vonnegut in his novel "Cat's Cradle." Ironically, the inventor of Vonnegut's "ice-nine" never intended his creation to be used as a doomsday device; this shortsighted scientist only foresaw "ice-nine" being used for the ploddingly pedestrian purpose of making it possible for combat Marines to march over mud in much the same manner that Jesus is said to have come striding across the tempest-tossed waves of the Sea of Galilee (Matthew 14:24).
(2) The Unholy Grail of overzealous scientists who in the thoughtless pursuit of "pure science" unwittingly create a doomsday device.
(3) Specifically, the fictional doomsday catalyst envisioned by Kurt Vonnegut in his novel "Cat's Cradle." Ironically, the inventor of Vonnegut's "ice-nine" never intended his creation to be used as a doomsday device; this shortsighted scientist only foresaw "ice-nine" being used for the ploddingly pedestrian purpose of making it possible for combat Marines to march over mud in much the same manner that Jesus is said to have come striding across the tempest-tossed waves of the Sea of Galilee (Matthew 14:24).
EXAMPLES:
(1) ' "Suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, "there were many possible ways water could freeze. Suppose the ice we skate upon -- what we might call ice-one -- is only one type of ice. Suppose water always froze as ice-one because it had never had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four? Suppose there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- with a melting point of 130 degrees. " '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 20
(2) ' Breed asked me to think of Marines in a swamp.
' "Their trucks are sinking in ooze."
' He winked. "But suppose one Marine had a capsule containing a seed of ice-nine, a new way for the atoms of water to stack and lock, to freeze. If that Marine threw that seed into the nearest puddle . . . ?"
' "The puddle would freeze?" I guessed.
' "And all the puddles . . .?"
' "They would freeze?"
' "You bet they would!" he cried. "And the Marines would rise from the swamp and march on!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 21
(3) ' "I keep thinking about that swamp" I said. "If the streams flowing through the swamp froze as ice-nine, what about the rivers and lakes the streams fed?"
' "They'd freeze."
' "And the oceans . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, of course," Dr. Breed snapped.
' "And the springs . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, damn it!" he cried.
' "And the rain?"
' "When it fell, it would freeze into hard little hobnails of ice-nine -- and that would be the end of the world!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 22
(1) ' "Suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, "there were many possible ways water could freeze. Suppose the ice we skate upon -- what we might call ice-one -- is only one type of ice. Suppose water always froze as ice-one because it had never had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four? Suppose there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- with a melting point of 130 degrees. " '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 20
(2) ' Breed asked me to think of Marines in a swamp.
' "Their trucks are sinking in ooze."
' He winked. "But suppose one Marine had a capsule containing a seed of ice-nine, a new way for the atoms of water to stack and lock, to freeze. If that Marine threw that seed into the nearest puddle . . . ?"
' "The puddle would freeze?" I guessed.
' "And all the puddles . . .?"
' "They would freeze?"
' "You bet they would!" he cried. "And the Marines would rise from the swamp and march on!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 21
(3) ' "I keep thinking about that swamp" I said. "If the streams flowing through the swamp froze as ice-nine, what about the rivers and lakes the streams fed?"
' "They'd freeze."
' "And the oceans . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, of course," Dr. Breed snapped.
' "And the springs . . . ?"
' "They'd freeze, damn it!" he cried.
' "And the rain?"
' "When it fell, it would freeze into hard little hobnails of ice-nine -- and that would be the end of the world!" '
-- "Cat's Cradle", Ch. 22
by Dinkum August 19, 2013
(1) ' Mineral rights are property rights that confer upon the holder the right to exploit an area for the minerals it harbors. Ownership of mineral rights is the right of the owner to exploit, mine, and/or produce any or all of the minerals lying below the surface of the property. The mineral estate of the land includes all organic and inorganic substances that form a part of the soil.' -- Wikipedia.
(2) Selling a mining company the rights to whatever minerals might lie beneath your land is a "Shylock's bargain" because in selling your mineral rights you agree that the mining company has the legal right to destroy all your property above the ground while the miners dig down to where the minerals supposedly are. If only William Shakespeare's Portia* were a real woman lawyer, she would have gotten the miners' case thrown out of court lickety-split -- as is only right and proper, considering how idiotic and truly insane the notion of "mineral rights" really is. And yet, it unbelievably is the law of this great country of ours, where EVERYONE is said be equal, NOT just the billionaire owners of mining companies. -- Dinkum
* Portia is a character in Shakespeare's play "Merchant of Venice".
PLOT SUMMARY: Shylock makes Antonio a loan which says: if Antonio is unable to repay, Shylock may take a pound of Antonio's flesh. Shylock takes Antonio to court; if Shylock wins, he intends to cut out enough of Antonio's heart as would satisfy the terms of the loan -- and kill Antonio.
(2) Selling a mining company the rights to whatever minerals might lie beneath your land is a "Shylock's bargain" because in selling your mineral rights you agree that the mining company has the legal right to destroy all your property above the ground while the miners dig down to where the minerals supposedly are. If only William Shakespeare's Portia* were a real woman lawyer, she would have gotten the miners' case thrown out of court lickety-split -- as is only right and proper, considering how idiotic and truly insane the notion of "mineral rights" really is. And yet, it unbelievably is the law of this great country of ours, where EVERYONE is said be equal, NOT just the billionaire owners of mining companies. -- Dinkum
* Portia is a character in Shakespeare's play "Merchant of Venice".
PLOT SUMMARY: Shylock makes Antonio a loan which says: if Antonio is unable to repay, Shylock may take a pound of Antonio's flesh. Shylock takes Antonio to court; if Shylock wins, he intends to cut out enough of Antonio's heart as would satisfy the terms of the loan -- and kill Antonio.
EXAMPLE:
' "Don't matter if you care," the old miner said, "if you don't own what you care about." He pointed out that the mineral rights to the entire county in which they sat were owned by the Rosewater Coal and Iron Company, which acquired these rights soon after the end of the Civil War. "The law says," he went on, "when a man owns something under the ground and he wants to get at it, you got to let him tear up anything between the surface and what he owns."
' The truth was that Rosewater . . . had been among the principal destroyers of the surface and the people of West Virginia. '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 14 (page 125 - 126).
* Portia's closing argument at trial: In court, Antonio's lawyer is a woman in lawyerly disguise, who just happens to be Portia, friend of Antonio. Portia deftly appropriates Shylock's argument for 'specific performance', and points out that the contract only allows Shylock to remove the flesh, not the "blood", of Antonio. Thus, if Shylock were to shed any drop of Antonio's blood, his "lands and goods" would be forfeited under Venetian laws. Further damning Shylock's case, she tells him that he must cut precisely one pound of flesh, no more, no less; she advises him that "if the scale do turn, But in the estimation of a hair, Thou diest and all thy goods are confiscate."
' "Don't matter if you care," the old miner said, "if you don't own what you care about." He pointed out that the mineral rights to the entire county in which they sat were owned by the Rosewater Coal and Iron Company, which acquired these rights soon after the end of the Civil War. "The law says," he went on, "when a man owns something under the ground and he wants to get at it, you got to let him tear up anything between the surface and what he owns."
' The truth was that Rosewater . . . had been among the principal destroyers of the surface and the people of West Virginia. '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 14 (page 125 - 126).
* Portia's closing argument at trial: In court, Antonio's lawyer is a woman in lawyerly disguise, who just happens to be Portia, friend of Antonio. Portia deftly appropriates Shylock's argument for 'specific performance', and points out that the contract only allows Shylock to remove the flesh, not the "blood", of Antonio. Thus, if Shylock were to shed any drop of Antonio's blood, his "lands and goods" would be forfeited under Venetian laws. Further damning Shylock's case, she tells him that he must cut precisely one pound of flesh, no more, no less; she advises him that "if the scale do turn, But in the estimation of a hair, Thou diest and all thy goods are confiscate."
by Dinkum August 6, 2013