DesPERRYado's definitions
A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”
The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”
The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the nice guy mug.Short for "No Reason Boner." Generally, an erection that has no inherent cause other than a young man's hormones going crazy. The term is usually used to clear sexual tension when other prepubescent boys notice a bulge originating in your crotch area.
"For Christ's sake Dave."
"heh heh...::nervous laughter:: talk about a NRB. I sure hope the 10th graders don't see me."
"heh heh...::nervous laughter:: talk about a NRB. I sure hope the 10th graders don't see me."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the NRB mug.A binder or notebook hormoney, middle and highschool boys use to conceal errant erections or NRBs. If one cares to realize, use of a boner barrier is rather obvious due to the uncharacteristic way the binder or notebook is pressed against the crotch region.
"Man, Jenny is looking pretty fine today, I'm thinking of asking her to the 8th grade prom."
"yeah, she can touch my digital pet any day of the week."
"::school bell rings:: Quick, throw me your notebook, I need a boner barrier."
"yeah, she can touch my digital pet any day of the week."
"::school bell rings:: Quick, throw me your notebook, I need a boner barrier."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the boner barrier mug.When one ejaculates from some kind of sexual stimuli experienced in a dream...or really erotic nightmare. Caused from lack of masturbation.
Date: 7 years ago
Time: 4:44am
Location: Some dream
"Oh, Lois Lane. You can interview me any day of the week. ::wakes up:: Huh?! Wha?!? It happened again..."
"I haven't had a wet dream in 7 years."
Time: 4:44am
Location: Some dream
"Oh, Lois Lane. You can interview me any day of the week. ::wakes up:: Huh?! Wha?!? It happened again..."
"I haven't had a wet dream in 7 years."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the wet dream mug.by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the rockin' the casbah mug.A term ugly, undesirable and inadequate people use to make themselves feel less ugly, more desirable and sexually adequate. This phrase goes alone the lines of adages such as, "Looks are only skin deep," and "It's what's on the inside that counts," although everyone knows the adage should really be, "It's what's on the outside that counts."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the inner beauty mug.Biblical proverb "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." Ironically, it was originally called the Silver Rule; invented by Confuscious.
It's inherently flawed because it only works if the person wants to be treated exactly like you.
It's inherently flawed because it only works if the person wants to be treated exactly like you.
"The real Golden Rule should go something like "Do unto others as you they would do unto themselves." -Gamache
by desperryado October 3, 2005
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