Delete this account now's definitions

Halter top

The act of one tucking their breasts into their pants rather than wearing a shirt ( or bra) for concealment.

Person 1: *so much as breathes*
Person 2: Jossed. What the fuck.
Person 1: *points gun at Person 2* halter top *shoot*
Person 2: *last words* really nogger *dies*
Person 1: actually it’s-
Person 3 who happens to be black: ayo ya can’t say dat shit dass racist I’m black wtf mans

by Delete this account now September 19, 2023

Ridiculous utterly ridiculous

Chloe Bourgeois’s catchphrase from Miraculous Ladybug (probably one of the best shows ever as well as in existence).

Someone gave Chloe KFC instead of whatever the Hell she ordered.
Chloe: I asked for a beef fillet with fois de gras not this poor person food (Throws KFC at someone in a massive fit of rage) This is so ridiculous utterly ridiculous!
What a Karen, am I right?

by Delete this account now July 2, 2023

I’m so scared

The thing you say when your best female (or male if you’re female) friend is singing the chorus of “Lovefool” by the Cardigans and dancing with a stick that has a wig that looks like her/his crush’s hair on it, and you’re scared and jealous of this man/woman.

Person 1: Love me, love me, Say that you love me~
Person 2: I’m so scared

by Delete this account now July 3, 2023

Pseudogon

The best YouTube pooper ever

Person: what’s on YouTube
YouTube: YTP: frosty the humanoid popsicle gets divorced by Pseudogon
Person: yay

by Delete this account now June 21, 2023

Piss colored hair

Ok Reddit, so I (237,624 M) and my wife (6 F) got into a bit of an argument about Fortnite (released 2017 by Epic Games) on my (237,624 M) Xbox One X (released 2017). She (6F) wanted to play fortnite (released 2017 by Epic Games) on my (237,624 M) Xbox One X (released 2017) even though she (6 F) has a PS4 (released 2013), which I (237,624 M) destroyed. I (237,624 M) said no. She (6 F) hit me. So naturally, I grabbed my Unholy Hellbringer (crafted 200,000 years ago in Neptune’s core by demons), and killed her. I also killed our 32 of our boys, being Liam (2 M), Noah (2 M), Elijah (2 M), Logan (2 M), Mason (2 M), James (2 M), Aiden (2 M), Ethan (2 M), Lucas (2 M), Jacob (2 M), Michael (2 M), Matthew (2 M), Benjamin (2 M), Alexander (2 M), William (2 M), Daniel (2 M), Jayden (2 M), Oliver (2 M), Carter (2 M), Sebastian (2 M), Joseph (2 M), David (2 M), Gabriel (2 M), Julian (2 M), Jackson (2 M), Anthony (2 M), Dylan (2 M), Wyatt (2 M), Grayson (2 M), Isaiah (2 M), Christopher (2 M), and Joshua (2 M). I saved Henry (2 M), because he (2 M) was my favorite child. I thought that he could be raised by wolves while i (237,624 M) played Fortnite (released 2017 by Epic Games) inside my house. While outside, I (237,624 M) dropped him (2 M) on the pavement and he (2 M) died. So Reddit, AITA I the asshole for killing my whole family?

Person 1: read the definition
Person 2: piss colored hair

by Delete this account now September 19, 2023

Don’t name your friends

People on Urban Dictionary ignore this rule so much it shouldn’t even be a rule

Urban dictionary: don’t name your friends
Person: *names all of their friends, including their full names, ages, addresses, phone numbers, etc.*
Urban dictionary: B R U H

by Delete this account now June 21, 2023

TeamTrees

English is my fourth language and I'm writing this on my phone with a throwaway account using only my toes while reading Kierkegaard so please forgive me for any grammar mistakes. :)

So, a little backstory. I'm a 24-year-old female, 5'10, white (thank God), skinny with DD breasts and an ass that barely fits in skinny jeans. People often say that I'm the most stunningly gorgeous person they've ever met and I should consider modeling but I dunno lol. I'm childfree, an atheist, a meat lover, and strictly heterosexual.

So I was at the hardware store picking out a chandelier to put in the house I'm building for the homeless when this fat, smelly, repulsive, gay, transgender "woman" walks up to me and shrieks, "you're oppressing me by being thin! Eat a fucking vegan burger you skinny slut!" I hit her with the "okay boomer," and she responded, "that's literally as offensive as calling me a n*gger!" Then she threw her slimy crotch goblin at me and screamed, "get her, Jayden! Infect her with your polio that you got because I refuse to vaccinate you!" I didn't wanna be a Karen and call the manager over to settle this so I took it upon myself to personally vaccinate her child right on the spot and saved his life. The "woman" then tried to convert me to Christianity so I kicked her in the balls and dragged her out of the store. Everyone clapped, the manager gave me $1,000 (which I donated to TeamTrees), and Obama reached out to thank me for my bravery.

Tank top gay face teamtrees

by Delete this account now September 19, 2023