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Dan Weyandt's definitions

Volde-mart

n. The Mart That Must Not Be Named!

Cities in Washington State have banned the use of the name "Wal-Mart," hence, in these cities it is "The Mart that Must Not Be Named," i.e. "Volde-mart" (Walde-mart is sometimes used as well).
We went shopping at---you-know-where...

No, I don't...

(whispering) Volde-mart!

(everyone flinches)
by Dan Weyandt July 2, 2011
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B'lair Roed

n. In Baltimoron, this refers to the road that runs through Baltimore, connecting it to the town of Bel Air, MD. The road is US Route 1, and within the city limits north of North Avenue, it is named "Belair Road." As there is no space between "Bel" and Air, Baltimorons pronounce it "B'lair Roed."
Hon, come oen doen 'n' see ol' Scotty here on B'lair Roed. I cain't saves ya noe money n'less you do!

- Scott Donohoo, owner of Foreign Motors, Donohoo Ford, and intermittent mayoral candidate
by Dan Weyandt October 21, 2008
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Sex on the Beach

n. A fruity mixed drink, popular during summer and especially during Spring Break. Here's a recipe that will make a gallon.

Ingredients:
1 cup Peach schnapps
1 cup Midori melon liqueur
1 cup Rum
1 cup Chambord
1 1/2 qt Pineapple juice
1 1/2 qt Cranberry juice
1 bag Ice

Mixing instructions:
Makes 1 gallon of punch -- mix all 4 liquers in 1 parts and fill rest with pineapple and cranberry juice
Sue can sure pound that Sex on the Beach.
by Dan Weyandt December 31, 2007
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regnaD kciN

n. What Third-Eye gumshoes end up reading on drizzly Tuesday afternoons after listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on their desktops...
Out of the fog.
Into the smog (cough cough).
Relentlessly.
Ruthlessly! (I wonder where Ruth is?).
DOGGEDLY! (ruff! ruff!)
Toward his weekly meeting with THE UNKNOWN.
At 4th and Drucker he turns left.
At Drucker and 4th he turns right.
He crosses MacArthur Park and walks into a great sandstone building. (Oh, my nose!)
Groping for the door, he steps inside, climbs the 13 steps to his office.
He walks in.
He's ready for mystery.
He's ready for EXITEMENT!
HE'S READY FOR ANYTHING, HE'S...
(rrrring) (click) Nick Danger, Third Eye.
(Uhh, I wanna order a pizza to go with no anchovies)
No andchovies? You've got the wrong man! I spell my name "DANGER!"
(click) (what?)

Let's get down to business. Uncross those beautiful stems of yours, baby! Here's the case I call number 666...

It all began innocently enough on Tuesday. I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desktop, and reading my name on the glass of my office door--"regnaD kciN."

My secretary lay snoring on the floor. Her long, beautiful gams pinioned under the couch.

I didn't hear him enter, but my nostrils flared at the smell of his perfume: "Pyramid Pachuli." There was only one joker in L.A. sensitive enough to wear that scent, and I had to find out WHO HE WAS...
by Dan Weyandt August 21, 2008
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NARFE

n. the "National Active and Retired Federal Employees" Associations. This organization should not be confused with:

Zoroastrians Of Regulated Transportation Employees--ZORTE
Public Organization of Internal Traffic Employees--POITE
Emergency Testers in Regimented Orange Zebras--ETROZ
Despite his constant naming of the organization, Pinky is not a member of NARFE.
by Dan Weyandt March 26, 2013
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Baybrij

n. In Baltimoron, this refers to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. The Chesapeake Bay Bridge is where US 50 crosses the Chesapeake Bay from Annapolis MD (at Sandy Point) to Kent Island MD. This bridge is not the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel. The Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel is about 120 miles to the south of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel crosses the bay from the tip of the Delmarva peninsula to Norfolk VA. For most Marylanders (who don't live on the Eastern Shore), the Chesapeake Bay Bridge is the only practical way to go downy oshun (to Ocean City, MD). This means that bridge traffic can be backed up from 10 to 15 miles during the summer, much to the consternation of many Marylanders.
Jeez Louise! Dat dang Baybrij's bakd up da hoe way ta I-97 agin!

Translation: Golly (or other expression of exasperation)! That damnable Chesapeake Bay Bridge is backed up once again from the toll plaza at Sandy Point all the way to the intersection of US 50 and Interstate 97!

Note: This is a distance of approximately 12 miles.
by Dan Weyandt April 9, 2008
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Bungles

n. Derogatory nick-name for the Ohio State Correctional System Work Release Program, also known as the Cincinnati Bengals. The origin of "Da Bungles" is generally attributed to the late Pittsburgh sportscaster and Steelers color analyst Myron Cope.
Yoi and Double Yoi! Troy just trucked Palmer t' score on that pick! Y'know sumpin' Bill, it's kinda embarrasin' t' watch dem Bungles sometimes. - Myron Cope, to Bill Hillgrove.
by Dan Weyandt September 17, 2010
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