Crunchyness's definitions

Morning Missile

the first poop of the day

Oh look, Brian is off to launch his morning missile. Mine's ready too launch to but I'll have to chill until his destruction is over.

by Crunchyness March 12, 2009

Ambiwipestrous

Being able to comfortably wipe one's booty with both hands.

After breaking my right hand, which I normally wipe with, I had to become ambiwipestrous in order to comfortably cleanse my booty particles.

by Crunchyness November 2, 2009

statement cookie

a fortune cookie that doesn't actually have a fortune in it, instead they package it with a lame statement like; Versatility is one of your greatest features.

Guy 1: Heh, what does you fortune cookie say?
Guy 2: Its not a fortune cookie its a goddamn statement cookie, it reads, " To understand a man, you must listen to his words."
Guy 1: Duh that's not only a statement, but its fucking obvious, more like a douche cookie.

by Crunchyness October 2, 2007

Post-it Superman dat hoe cape

Its when you don't have the time or effort to go through with a complete supermanning of that hoe. So you put a post it with a little superman symbol on it, so it looks like a mini cape.

Guy 1: Did you superman dat hoe?
Guy 2: no, I didn't want to whip it out in the office, but I gave her a Post-it Superman dat hoe cape.
Guy1: That's fucking tight!

by Crunchyness June 1, 2009

hoepilot

A hoe that directs you or just takes control, and copilots you to skeet.
Or another work for the copilot navigation device found in many cars today. That hoe has a hot voice sometimes. (sorry Garmin)

Example 1: She had me bustin nuts all night, what a crafty hoepilot.

Example 2:
guy1: Wow how'd you navigate around our crazy town?
guy2: I owe it to my trusty hoepilot device...thanks hoepilot!

by Crunchyness January 19, 2008

crampage

the rampage of a woman with cramps

Guy 1: Did you see that? Your girl just hockey checked that chick, and then smashed through a wall. Dude, she was screaming like a bull and her veins were almost popping off all over.

Guy 2: Yeah, she's got pms, and she's on one of her crampages again

by Crunchyness February 1, 2008

hulaflage

Camoflage made out of Hawaiian prints. Hibiscus flowers and whatnot.

I dropped my hulaflaged sandal in a tree and lost it. Just blended in too well.

by Crunchyness May 11, 2007