Croatalin's definitions

Whistling up a pig's ass

This picturesque expression was originally used by Rednecks in the USA, but has achieved wider usage due to combined operations of US and European troops. It is used to describe something that totally futile, a waste of time and effort and something that you do not wish to do. By extension it can be applied to mean a person who is a waste of time and effort, someone with whom you do not wish to associate and whose existence can only be described as one of nature's biggest mistakes..

Malcolm's made another great and glorious cock-up, that asshole really is no more use than whistling up a pig's ass!

by Croatalin April 26, 2014

graveyard fuck

This is where a male person has sex with a woman of advanced age, quite literally old enough to be his granny. There is no love involved, it is usually done for a bet or some other reason. If the woman is rich or a celebrity, the male becomes known as a 'toy-boy'. If a woman indulges in a graveyard fuck, it's invariably with a man who is rich and powerful and she expects marriage to result. She's in it purely for the money so I suppose that makes her a whore and therefore it's not really a graveyard fuck..

Look at that old bat blowin' kisses at Jed!
Well, that's what happens when you get pissed and have a graveyard fuck.

by Croatalin February 19, 2014

Barbara Cartland

British expression of contempt. Originally a British female author who wrote incredibly predictable chick lit and was famous for a number of reason, such as having the longest entry in the publication "who's Who"; a belief that despite advanced age and decrepitude she was incredibly attractive to the male sex; the belief that under no circumstances could she possibly be wrong. Now expanded in use to describe any pretentious, arrogant, unattractive female with delusions about her looks, talent, knowledge and so on. If you see one coming towards you run as fast as possible in the other direction or arrange for her to be abducted by aliens and taken to a far galaxy.

Jane's had a poem published in a free magazine, now she's acting like she's won the Nobel prize for literature.
That stupid munter? What a Barbara Cartland!

by Croatalin April 24, 2014

Pygalgia

Originally a medical term used to describe the pain associated with piles, now used to describe someone who is a pain in the arse. See also rectalgia.

Malcolm must think the boss is suffering from piles, he's got his head so far up the boss's arse it's a suppository.
I don't know about the boss, but Malcolm gives me pygalgia.

by Croatalin December 30, 2013

AHOYA

AHOYA is an acronym standing for Asshole Of The Year Award. Used frequently to describe those people who get the best jobs, promotion, bonuses not because they're good at their job, but because they lick the boss' boots and brown-nose anyone in authority. They are usually below average to poor performers but their sycophancy ensures that this goes unnoticed.

Malcolm's got an end of year bonus despite failing to make any of his targets!
Yeah it's his AHOYA

by Croatalin January 10, 2014

BBB

Acronym standing for Bullshit Baffles Brains. There is some truth in this as highly persuasive people can influence highly intelligent people (Parliamentary lobby groups are a case in point). This is achieved by representing their arguments as reasonable, the view of the vast majority of people, the only sensible course and by securing the support of other people, groups or organisations. All that is required for the BBB effect to take hold and to avoid scrutiny is for there to be no direct challenge to the assertions of the bullshitter.

NOTE: In 1945 a British 'A' Class submarine, HMS Aurochs, was launched. The submarine's motto was 'Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat' which translates as 'a bull's excrement can fool a wise man' or Bullshit Baffles Brains. From this we know that the acronym must have been in widespread use during and before the Second World War.

Malcolm's cocked things up again and he's flooding the boss with as much jargon as he can think of to try to justify it.
Yeah that's our Malcolm hoping that BBB.

by Croatalin December 10, 2013

Snotrag

A handkerchief or tissue. Implicit in the word is that the handkerchief or tissue has been used and that the product within it is particularly vile, greasy, and slimy; the result of diseased sinuses or a severe nasal infection. By extension the word can be used to describe a person having the same qualities, an obnoxious, slimeball whose very presence makes people nauseous.

Gordon's tried to cop off with Alice again.
Fuckin' snotrag needs a good smack in the chops.

by Croatalin November 21, 2013